Our parents are always going out to movies, concerts or shows and leaving us behind so when I heard about avant garde artist Laurie Anderson performing a concert in Time Square on Monday evening just for dogs it was my chance to turn the tables. I dug out Foley’s codes for dogs to upload and download themselves to different locations via the Internet, found a unmanned laptop at a Chipotle near the concert, took a reluctant Pocket by the paw and we zipped our way through the Internet.
We landed at the Chipotle and the place smelled like the other side of Donald Trump’s wall. I took care of my big sister with the sensitive stomach making sure she did not eat anything on the floor. We then went outside in the very cold winter air. We saw lots of dogs all huddled together in a big pack and joined them. It was warm in the middle of the pack as we awaited the concert to start.
Miss Anderson came out on stage to the howls of her appreciative audience and opened up with a wonderful version of “The Tracks of my Pees” about the way that we leave messages for one another on walkways. This was followed by the soul classic “Pooping in the Street” which describes the protests against leash laws in the 70’s.
Next she played a wonderful version of “You Lost that Loving Feeling” which is an ode to every dog who has ever awoken in the hospital and realized they had been spayed or neutered. All the dogs joined together to sing the chorus in lamented voices: “Now it’s gone, gone, gone.”
The concert picked up with a rousing version of “Hound Dog,” followed by “Werewolves of London.” We howled our way through both songs. And we knew when she sang “You Ain’t Nothing But a Hound Dog” she meant that being a Hound Dog was a very important thing to be.
Then came a tribute to our great scent sense with a rollicking version of “Smells like Shih Tzu.” Finally she closed with “Born to Run,” as we all stopped snuggling and ran back and forth across the stage in celebration.
When the concert ended Pocket and I went back to the Chipotles only occupied by people who lost bar bets and downloaded ourselves home. We snuck back into bed but Mommy woke up wondering why the room smelled like someone had died and been left unattended at a Taco Bell.
Pocket and I just laughed and then dreamed we were at our first concert again.
You can read what humans thought about the concert here.