My Daddy was in a pet store the other day. There was “dog” training ongoing. (We all know they train the humans.) This trainer told the parents that, while walking us, not to stop and let us sniff. “It is your walk, not theirs,” the trainer said.
When Daddy got home, as I have instructed, he told me what was going on in the outside world including what this so called trainer said. I was stunned. It’s the parents walk, not ours? What kind of insanity is this?
Of course it is our walk. Humans just don’t go walking on their own. If you do see them on foot it is either because they have misplaced their driver’s license, don’t have money for gas, don’t have money for a cab, are searching for their stolen car, or are undead. Humans do not walk without a good reason. They aren’t built for it.
In fact we are blamed for the walk. “I have to take the dog for a walk,” the humans say. They don’t say “I am going for my walk I guess I will take the dog along.” And saying we should not be allowed to sniff? That’s like saying humans can’t get mail or go on the Internet. Tree mail is how we keep up with everything that is going on in the neighborhood.
We are the hit of the park when we go one walks. People give our humans a polite nod when passing by but they always shout a comment about how cute we are when they see us on our walk. They have to shout because we are always barking. Daddy tries to shush us as we walk but we can’t hear him because of all that barking.
Plus our walks is where we do our business. Humans used to have to go for a walk before they did their business but then someone invented indoor plumbing. We would be happy to use the indoor plumbing too if someone invented flushable floors, but, since that seems to be beyond human conception,, we are going to have to go for walks.
Our walks, not human walks. So if any human tells you it’s not our walk tell them to drop their pants and do their business the yard or drop their attitude.
