Ask Aunt Foley

Dear Aunt Foley:  Why is it so cold and is it ever going to warm up?  - Frozen in Illinois

Dear Frozen:  As many of you know the reason for the deep freeze that so many of you are going through is because I built a giant skating rink on our side of the River of Life for Angel Ice Dancing.  We had weeks of beautiful dancing.  I knew it was making all of you cold, but it was winter, and by the end of February everything would be back to normal.

Well, have you ever tried to get a bunch of Angels off an ice rink the size of most of the United States?  I ordered them off on March 1, then March 2, but they kept skating.  So I turned off the coolants and the ice is starting to melt but as the ice is melting it is getting into the atmosphere and making it colder for everyone.

I hope by the middle of March everything will be back to normal, although the melting ice might cause some torrential rain, flooding, and street closings.  But once that is done we are going to start a beautiful garden and that she bring sweet spring breezes and beautiful skies to you.

Please forgive me for the past winter.  Us Angels are up here for a mighty long time and we do have to find someway to pass the boredom. But I have learned something during my first winter as an angel is to get everybody off the ice by Valentine’s Day.

Wordless Wednesday

No More Woof? No Way Pocket Says

I know that in my Pack I am considered the innocent, gullible one.  But I can’t be anymore innocent or gullible than the poor humans.  A group of scientists who are obsessed with our behavior have concocted a scheme to separate our well meaning parents from their hard earned cash.

The Nordic Society for Invention and Discovery (why is it always scientists from the North?  Does all that snow and ice make them bored?)  has developed “No More Woof” which distinguishes our thought patterns and then issues them in short sentences via a microphone.

Or these scientists could have asked our Moms who already know what we are saying.  

67% of the time we are saying “Food, food, food, give me food, I want food, food, food, oh boy food. do you have food, I want food, are you eating food, can I have some food, food food, are you going to eat that food, food, food, food, I smell food.”

When we want your attention, there is “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey you, you, hey you, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you, you, you, you, hey, hey, hey.”

When we see something out the window:  “Hey, you, you, hey you, hey, get out of my yard, out, out, hey you, out, out, out.”

Other popular dog quotes - when there is the sound of a car door:  “who’s that?  who’s that?  who’s that? Get the door, get the door, get the door, there’s somebody out there, there’s somebody other there, there’s somebody out there;” the always popular “Ball!  Ball!  Ball!  Ball!  Throw the ball!  Throw the ball!  What are you waiting for?  Throw the ball!  There it goes!  Ball, ball, ball, ball, ball ball, ball, ball, ball, ball, ball, got it.  Throw the ball!” and “right there, oh right there, that’s the spot, oh yeah, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, oh baby, there, there, there,” and most popular of all “I didn’t do it Dad, don’t listen to Mom, honest to god when you’re not home she just sits around the house drinking and chewing up your golf shoes.”

Hopefully our parents will see through these charlatans and not give them a dime because they always know what we are saying from the clever looks in our eyes. 

A dog named Tiny is our March 2, 2014 Pup of the Week

As you can imagine, in my official capacity as one of the Judges who swears in newly arriving pups at Rainbow Bridge I make my first acquaintance with many dogs during their initial crossing.  Some I come to know, some others disappear to be with their friends and family in the mountains or downriver,  and some, if they are lucky, move up river where their humans live.  On February 20, while performing my duties, I met a small black min pin named Tiny who had spent nearly ten years on the mortal side of the Bridge with his loving Mom.   While he had friends waiting for him he was more concerned about his Mom.

So I told Tiny to follow me and we scampered down the hill to the River of Life.  I nosed one of the shiny pebbles washed up by the waves to him, told him to nose it into the River and think of his Mom.  He did (he was quite well trained) and then I saw his Mom and she was having a terrible time with his passing.

I sat him down and asked him if his Mom was involved in dog social networking.  “You mean people who go online to write about their dog’s every little poop, fart, and twinge obsessively worrying and commenting on things until they are written about to death?” he asked.  I said yes, and he said no.  I found that odd.

So I told him how to go down into his Mom’s dreams, and tell her to join this group called Doggyspace because there she would find lots of pup’s Moms who went through what she was going through and they could help her heal.  Like the well trained loving dog that Tiny is, he did so, and soon his Mom found her way on to DS and began to feel the wave of love and understanding that such sites can provide grieving parents, as my parents can certainly attest.

Soon new friends were posting blogs saying there was a new member on the site who needed help and dozens of friend requests filled his inbox and in each friendship his Mom found someone who had been where she had been and was willing to help.  Soon Tommy Tunes had done a picture tribute, and a dog who, when he was on the mortal side of the River had no online friends, was now known across the country and over oceans.

When I introduced myself to Tiny’s Mom I humbly told her that I was “kind of a big deal.”  But the truth is all dogs are big deals, even Tiny ones, especially in their Mom’s heart, and even if he is not well known, and did not leave a huge social media impact, he is a very big deal.

With a big duty ahead of him.  He now needs to find the right pup to help heal his Mom’s broken heart.  I know he’ll be able to do it.

Sometimes it takes a Tiny dog.

Ask Aunt Foley

Dear Aunt Foley:  I think most humans agree that us dogs show the same emotions that they do.  But there are still humans who study dogs, and insist that we do not show emotion.  Now that you are on the immortal side of the River of Life, can you provide any insight on this long debated question?  Emotional in Pittsburgh

Dear Emotional:  Now that I am on the immortal side of the Bridge I so enjoy the theorists and philosophers on the mortal side who struggle with the mysteries of life.  Although I have taken an oath not to reveal the secrets contained  on the immortal side I will tell you that the entirety of life is more spectacular and fascinating than mere mortal minds can comprehend.  As for your question I will answer this:  There are two schools of thought popular with humans, one, that man is descended from the ape, and second, that God created Adam and then Eve from a rib and all humans are descended from them, both of which are terribly wrong.  

The actual story of Adam and Eve didn’t take place at the Garden of Eden, but the Olive Garden, Eve didn’t tempt Adam with an apple from a snake, but with a fruit salad made with calamari, which Adam did not find to his taste, causing him to start a fight with the manager, and getting them banished from the Olive Garden, making complaining about the blessing of food the true original sin.

Which brings me to evolution and the answer to your question.  Humans hate the idea that they evolved from feces throwing, crap eating, masturbating monkeys.  So humans produce opinions that makes the idea of being evolved from monkeys seem ridiculous by saying that men cannot be evolved from monkeys because monkeys don’t experience emotions, and then they use that conclusion to cover all animals.

In truth man is not evolved from apes.  Man did start in the ocean, and then crawled out to land, and then developed into the perfect state of dog. At that point dogs felt the need to take care of someone, and to be taken care of, so one set of dogs decided to walk upright, grow slope noses, and become man, while other stayed in the perfect state of dogs, and those that didn’t develop correctly became monkeys.  That is why we bond so well.  We are all part of the same family.

And if you are worried about the hand of God in this story, this is being by a Yorkie who was last seen on the mortal side of life in June of last year, if  you can’t find a reasons to believe in that then I don’t know if you will be able to find a reason to believe in anything.

Wordless Wednesday

Otis is our February 23, 2014 Pup of the Week (With a Special Mention for Daisy)

Some weeks I am stunned to see a friend crossing the Bridge, other weeks, having kept tabs on my friends, and knowing their status, I am less surprised, though still saddened to see them.

Since I first met him five years ago Otis has been suffering from diabetes and has been blind,  His Mom has taken wonderful care of him, but diabetes is not an aging dog’s friend and finally Otis’ condition deteriorated.  His parents were forced to make the long dreaded decision after Otis’ appetite decreased to nearly non-existent. he showed signs of confusion, and was in pain.  After one final trip to his favorite place in the world, his backyard, his parents aided him on his trip.

And soon he was climbing the stairs from the Bridge to be sworn in, and while I could feel his parents’ pain, I could also feel their relief that their decision had stopped their beloved baby’s pain,  I saw Otis, for the first time in our friendship, seeing me, as he slowly looked around, taking it all in:  Hundreds of friends, the sky, the clouds, the mountains, the river, the birds and the Bridge.

When he reached me, after I swore him in, I asked him, out of everything he was seeing for the first time in years what were his thoughts.  “You’re really short,” he said.  “I knew you were small but man, you’re tiny.”  I pointed out the sun, the birds, the grass, the butterflies.  “Yeah, they’re nice,” he said. “but damn you’re smaller than an overfed squirrel.”

Becoming slightly annoyed, I decided to change the subject, and asked Otis what he would miss the most about the mortal side of the Bridge.  “That’s easy,” he said.  “My Mom.  Us dogs are supposed to take care of our Moms but I got sick and she spent so much time taking care of me I could barely take care of her.  I was so lucky getting her for a Mom.  A blind diabetic dog is not easy.  The commitment, the shots, the cost of the medicine, arranging the house so I didn’t get hurt, she did so much for me.  If only I could tell her how much I loved her and appreciated what she did for me one more time.”  I put my average sized paw on his and told him he just did.

I asked him if there was anything he wanted to do.  He sadly shook his head and said his only wish his last days was to look at his Mom’s pretty face one more time.  I told him to follow me and we went down the stairs to the River of Life and I told him to look in.  Instead of his reflection he saw his sad Mom mourning him.  “She looks more beautiful than the last time I saw her,” he marvelled.  I asked him if he wanted to explore and he said he was happy just to sit by the River and finally see his Mom.

I sat with Otis for awhile, but then I saw another friend climbing the steps, Daisy from Downunder, who writes her own very popular blog.

 I loved reading it, especially in the winter, when she would take us along on her hot summer walks while we were freezing.  Daisy, like me. had cancer, and she fought for a long time, but we all have only so many heartbeats.  After I swore her in she asked me what Otis was doing, and when I told her, she said that sounded wonderful, so we joined Otis.  Daisy watched over her grieving mother in the water too.

But I wasn’t looking at my Mom, I do that a lot each day, I was watching Otis watch, and seeing his Mom’s reflection in his seeing eyes was the best thing I saw in a long time.