Foley: Well, as our loyal followers know, I have free run of our bedroom while Pocket is confined to her crate during the day. Well today Pocket took this big Vick right in front of the TV in the bedroom and let me tell you, it smelled very nasty and I was disgusted.
Pocket: Excuse me. If you know our history, and read the above paragraph you’ll know that I was, and usually am, in the crate when Mommy is away, so I could not possibly have left the unidentified Vick in the house.
Mom: I got home from a miserable day at work where I didn’t even get a lunch break and I walk in the front door and said “Oh Mama” then hurried up the stairs to see what Pocket had done in her crate.
Pocket: Really? That’s what your first thought was? What Pocket had done in her crate? Really.
Mom: I opened the door and sweet fancy Moses there was the Vick lying on the floor and I looked down at my precious Monster and said “Foley, what did you do?”
Foley: I looked up with my deep brown eyes, pointed at Pocket and said “Jah accuse!
Pocket: I’m not sure what Foley said because I was saying “Oh my God, you’re home, let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out, I think I peed a little, let me out, let me out, let me out.”
Mom: I told Foley it was impossible for Pocket to Vick on the floor when she was locked in the crate.
Foley: Oh, I told my Mommy, Oh, that Pocket, she’s a magician, a real Einstein, as soon as you leave she’s using those little paws to open that crate door and then she’s all over the place, on the bed, pooping here, pooping there, I follow her around with the steam cleaner, then, just before you get home, she hops back in the crate. Today I followed her around so much I fell asleep and woke up and there was the Vick.
Mom: I told Foley I needed to get something to clean the Vick.
Pocket: I’m not sure what happened next. I think I blacked out. All I now is Mommy left and I was still in the crate and I was barking “Hey, I’m still here, I’m here, I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.”
Foley: I went out to the crate, looked Pocket in her glazed brown eyes, and said: “Look here, see, this is how it’s gonna go, you’re gonna take the heat on the poop you understand, or it’s gonna be big trouble for you understand, big trouble!”
Pocket: “Hey, hey, hey, I’m here, here, hey, hey, hey, hey I’m here.”
Mom: I came back in the room and let Pocket out and she jumped into my arms. I brought them downstairs and took them outside and told Foley we would not talk about this until her Daddy got home.
Foley: Ah hah! No problem. I got that slope nosed in my back pock….uh, back…pack.
Dad: I got home and Marsha told me that Foley had laid a big Vick by the bedroom television.
Foley: I said “Honest to god she’s been drinking all day.”
Pocket: I was jumping up and down at his feet saying “You’re home, you’re home, you’re home, throw the ball, throw the ball, throw the ball, I think I peed a little, throw the ball, throw the ball, yup that’s pee, throw the ball, throw the ball, throw the ball.”
Dad: I told Foley she should have gone in the morning when I was walking her but she was too busy sniffing the leaves.
Foley: It’s the whole standard time/day light savings time thing, it throws off my whole schedule.
Mom: I told Ted that Foley tried to blame the whole thing on her little sister.
Pocket: I told Daddy and Mommy that I didn’t Vick on the floor and they could trust me because I’m a politician.
Mom and Dad: Hmmmmmm.
Foley: I might beat this yet.
Pocket: Oh for the love of god throw the ball!