Sunday, August 12, 2012

Lou ee is our August 12, 2012 Pup of the Week

For the past week our lovable British friend Lou ee has been reporting on our Tanner Brigade Olympics.  Featuring members of the Tanner Brigade and Doggy Space his coverage of the games gave us a laugh and a much needed diversion to our troubles, especially to those pups with sick family members.  Pocket and I have gone off on many crazy ventures in our time, but have not put in as much time, or creativity, on their blogs as Lou ee.  We would like to recognize this wonderful dog for the great reporting work he did and how he captured our hearts and imagination this week.

For those on DS who have not met Louee yet I am sure you know his sister Lucy, a long time member.  They are both the sweetest and kindest pups and the best friends you could have.  Lou ee inherited from his sister a generous sister and a love of keeping other dogs entertained.  His Olympic coverage was his magnus opus.

Before we present to you his Olympics may we take a second to have a cup of tea and thank him for all the smiles he has provided for us the past two weeks.  He has been a gold medal performance and we should all stand at attention as God Saves the Queen plays.  While the Olympic Games have given us many heroes there were none bigger than Lou ee.  Thanks to you, and your wonderful country, for a marvelous 16 days.

Here is a full recap of the Olympics with no spoilers or tape delays.

We, the host nation, welcome you all to the
Tanner Brigade
Doggy-lympic Games
Welcome to London!
Our first port of call is Tower Bridge
Built between 1886–1894, it spans the River Thames.
Hold on tight - we're aiming to fly through that giant blue circle!
We made it through Ladies and gentledogs
You can open your eyes now!
Next up we'll visit another well known landmark
(no relation to Officer Ben)
Big Ben is actually the bell inside the clock tower
Listen! Big Ben is chiming, three whole minutes, just for us!
Fasten your seatbelts
We're now going to loop the loop through the
The London Eye!
Each revolution takes 30 minutes and it holds up to
800 passengers!!!
Unfortunately I don't have a head for heights
(I have my paws in front of my eyes right NOW bol)
(only JOKING bol)
Everyone still on board? No one fallen out?
*hands out sick bags*
Anyone need a pee stop?
I know a good lamp post right outside 10 Downing Street.
*plane lands in street*
Time to reboard the plane!
Show your tickets to the flight attendant please ...
Now onwards and upwards!
We have lift off
Here is Trafalgar Square.
Famous for it's pigeons, the Tate Gallery and Nelson's Column
Our flyover takes us over one of the UK's best known
rescue centres
Battersea Dogs Home
Staffie Rory took part in carrying the real Olympic Torch
We're nearing the end of our journey
Lets have some fun!
Let's buzz the corgis at Barkingham Palace!
The sun is beginning to set.
But we just have time to fly over St.Pauls Cathedral ...
... before finally we arrive at the Doggy-lympic Stadium
(Which looks like a giant dog bowl)
Well that concludes the tour ladies and gentledogs.
Over the next few weeks, each and every one of you will be entered into a draw, your names drawn out and entered into a 'doggy-lympic' event. There will be a blog every day (or so) listing the event and its competitors AND of course the top three winners.

Day One

Event One : 100m Tennis Ball Dash
Aim : Competitors have to race 100m to fetch a tennis ball and retrieve it. First over the line, carrying the ball, wins. Simple!
Competitors : Brody, Cassie, Jan Cabral, Max-Tupper-Boris, Maya, Prestley-Atlas, Sydney-Moose-Buddy, Tashi-Tiara
Commentary : The eight competitors line up on the starting line and await the starters orders, Brody looks excited and ponders what to order for lunch - deciding to settle for a chicken baguette and an iced tea, he then motions that he is finally ready to start. The starter mutters about misunderstandings before he cocks his weapon and fires a single shot skywards. The competitors are startled as a flock of pigeons fly off in alarm but the athletes soon regain their composure and surge forward in unison. Maya quickly takes the lead, her long legs proving an advantage but she is followed closely by the trio SM & B and Cassie. Brody races after them and catches his ball in a single leap and turns for the finish. Prestley & Atlas are neck and neck with Tashi & Tiara. Maya has lost her advantage, with Max, Tupper and Boris taking the lead. SM and B have got distracted and are working the crowds - they are actually signing autographs!?! Guys? Come on!

The race is nearly over; Brody has now taken the lead with Max and Co dropping into second place ... but what is this? Cassie has uses her size advantage to slip through Brody's legs to nip into first place! She gets the gold! The crowd howl in unison and the stadium rocks with applause! Well done Cassie!
Results :
BRONZE MEDAL : Tashi & Tiara
There were 8 items in your list. Here they are in random order:

Day Two

Event two : 400m Garden Fence Hurdles
Aim : Competitors have to negotiate various obstacles on the route including wooden fences, hedges, washing lines, brick walls etc at various heights to a maximum of 2 metres.
Competitors : Sierra-Nase-Tiger, Blazer, Hobo Hudson, Jeni, Roxy, Ruby-Lacy, Shiloh, Sushi
Commentary : A single shot is fired and the dogs are off, they are neck and neck as they reach their first obstacle, a hedge. Shiloh, Angel Sierra-Nase-Tiger and Blazer all clear it with inches to spare, but Sushi is racing headlong right into it ... she's run right through it ... oh dear! Now there is a gaping hole, the smaller dogs, bringing up the rear, are just racing through it! Is this allowed? Check the rule book! Meanwhile Shiloh springs over the triple wooden fence panels with ease, quickly pursued by Sierra, Blazer and Hobo who has gained ground fast - he's muttering something about deadlines? Roxy has pulled up, she is just too small to get over the fences. Such a shame! Jeni and Ruby-Lacy are putting on a brave attempt but are no match for the speed of Blazer, he has cleared all the hurdles with ease and moved up into first place! Sushi and Shiloh are vying for second place but Hobo is still a strong contender - his stamina shows no bounds! The final obstacle is a killer, a 2m high, solid brick wall. Blazer jumps onto a trash can and clears it in one leap to win gold, Hobo has surpassed his personal best into second place, followed by ... it's Shiloh by the tip of her muzzle!
Results :
SILVER MEDAL : Hobo Hudson

Event Three : 20km Epic Race Walk
Aim : The Race Walk event start and finishes at The Mall. Athletes must race over a 2km loop past Barkingham Palace and through Hyde Park. Each competitor is to remain on the leash and must be accompanied by their handler at all times.
Competitors : Angel Bailey-Riley-Neely, Baron (Bear Bear), Hawk, Lou eee, Matilda-Susie-Moses, Mrs Sophie Bub-Koda-Josie-Wills, Rock, Trixie
Commentary : All the dogs are straining on their leashes, last minute preparations are being made, pep talks are being given. The crowd waits in anticipation and suddenly the ribbon is dropped and the line up moves off. It is a slow start but Lou eee storms into the lead, he is full of confidence and has been training for months in preparation for this one event. Rock pulls his mom into second place, followed closely by Baron. Sophie, Koda, Josie and Wills, who are keen to chat with Lou eee and Rock, pull enthusiastically to catch them up! Matilda, Susie and Moses are bringing up the rear but they know there is no rush - 20km is a LONG way and they are determined to pace themselves. As the hours pass and the laps are completed, the dogs struggle to keep focus - there are only so many times the same lamp post is exciting! Hawk and Trixie are maintaining a good pace behind the lead dogs.

Suddenly with only 1km to go, Lou eee spots a goose in Hyde Park, he pulls his mom off course to chase it - Rock follows and for a few seconds both dogs look set to be disqualified. Lou eee pulls hard, ducks backwards and escapes from his collar never to be seen again. His mom can be seen crying on the sidelines - her hopes for gold dashed! Rock's mom plays her winning hand - the non-escapable-harness! She brings it into play and drags Rocco back onto the course. The action hots up further as the dogs get wind of a hot dog stall within view of the finishing line. Baron practically drags his mom across the finishing line, followed by Angel Bailey, Riley and young Neely. Rock grabs a hot dog and slips into third place! Any one seen Lou eee?
Results :
SILVER MEDAL : Angel Bailey, Riley & Neely

Day Three

Event Four : Canine Dressage Test

Aim : Each dog and their handler are expected to be able to demonstrate strict obedience training, tricks and dance moves to music in the dressage arena. Watching out for the horse poo!

Competitors : Fella, Gordo, The K & K grrls, Leo, Nigel, Oskar & Pam, Pintus/Rain/Junior, Sofia Jean Boyd
Commentary : Pintus, Rain and Junior trot into the arena followed by their mom, there is a hush as the music begins and the crowd go mad with applause as Pintus, Rain and Junior start their paw perfect happy dance to the tune of You Make Me Happy. They zig-zag in and out of their mom's legs, spin and jump over each other! What a high energy routine! Fella is up next and enters the arena, he's dressed smartly in black and carries a red rose in his mouth. He twists and turns to the tune of Come Prima, the pace is much more relaxed during this carefully choreographed routine but it doesn't mean Fella isn't giving his all. The high point is a stunning backwards flip where he lands right in front of his mom and presents her with the rose. Another top notch performance!

All eyes are on Leo as he strides into the middle of the ring, but the crowd's enthusiastic applause quietens as they watch Leo looking a bit lost and peering into the huge crowd. Nerves? But suddenly he is seen to relax and he wiggles his fluffy butt - the camera pans round and catches sight of an unnamed lady JRT blowing kisses to him in the crowd. Who can that be?!? Red-furred Leo struts his stuff to the tune of Time of my Life. Well done Leo! Nobody is putting you in the corner after that performance!

Sofie Jean Boyd is carried into the arena by her mom and is placed carefully down, they jive along to Runaround Sue ... her fast and high energy dancing has knocked the breath out of her and everyone can see why she is a 'dash' hound! The K & K grrls enter wearing matching bows and dance to Sugar Sugar, it's an impressive display with lots of walking backwards, weaving through their handler's legs and for the finale, they bow to the watching crowd! It's bound to impress the judges! Next up is Nigel the Bulldog, he wears a black tie and sunglasses, dancing to Minnie the Moocher from The Blues Brothers - he is paw perfect! A hard act to follow but it is Gordi who has that task! He performs to Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer - he even wears a pair of antlers for his action packed routine! Half way through the dance, he nearly comes a cropper when the antlers catch on his mom's trousers as he races through her legs. The audience are clapping along and all think it's part of the routine! They recover well and finish their routine without further mishap! Last up is Oskar & his mom Pam, they dance to He's a Tramp - the pair are faultless and as they finish, the crowd erupt into thunderous applause to the pairs obvious delight!
Results :
GOLD MEDAL : Pintus, Rain & Junior
SILVER MEDAL : The K & K Grrls

Event Five : Canine Cross Country Lure Racing
Aim : Competitors chase a mechanically operated lure over/under various obstacles on a 1000m long course

Competitors : Abigail The Yorkie, Buddy 'Bub' Boy, Copernicus, Max, Otis, Pokey & Maggie, Sandy/Maggie/Nikki/Bear, Baarney & Tabaatha

Commentary : The competitors whine with excitement as they wait in the traps. They are eager for the off and as Hattie Mae strolls into view, wearing a pink bikini and holding a white hankie aloft - there are more than a few wolf-whistles emitted from the gathering crowd. She drops her arm to the side, the hankie falls, the lure begins to move and the traps spring open! Abigail surges forwards, dodging between everyone else's legs and clamps the faux-fur between her teeth so it pulls her along. She is dragged along at an alarming rate but she shows no signs of letting go! Otis, Copernicus, Pokey and Maggie are close behind, followed by Sandy, Maggie, Nikki and Bear. Max and Buddy take a few tumbles as they weave in and out as the lure changes direction but they regain their footing fast. Tabaatha and Baarney are holding their own but Tabaatha has a few issues with racing through the muddy puddles and it slows the pair down as she delicately tiptoes round them. Abigail is still in the lead, her unusual technique is proving a winning formula although strictly not allowed? Copernicus remains in second place, despite taking off his jacket and laying it out over the puddles to help Tabaatha out. His performance is second to none as he flys over each obstacle with ease! The competition continues to hot up as the finishing line comes into view, the leading group tighten up and the rest up their game - all wanting the all important gold medal!
Results :
GOLD MEDAL : Abigail The Yorkie
SILVER MEDAL : Copernicus
BRONZE MEDAL : Sandy, Maggie, Nikki & Bear

Event six : Canine Show Jumping
Aim : Dogs need to negotiate various obstacles including jumps, the tunnel, hoop jump, A-board etc within the time limit.

Competitors : Ben/Butkus/Barry/Pepper, Bentley, Biskit, Clementine & the Girls, Cooper/Chipper/Romeo, Erin, Gracee/Hondo, Paco
Commentary : Paco waits for the signal and he's off to a sprint start, he heads for the first two jumps and clears them, he throws himself into the tunnel and heads for the water jump. A slight hesitation on the see-saw - before he races up and over the A board and jumps through the hoop. He heads for the finish with seconds to spare! Gracee and Hondo make a great team as they negotiate the course but they lose valuable seconds as they stop for a drink at the water jump and clock up a 3 second time penalty. No such problems for Bentley and Biskit who achieve clear rounds but will they be fast enough? Ben, Butkus, Barry and Pepper sprint round the course, they are all clear and going strong until Ben stops dead at the hoop jump ... what on earth is he doing? Oh my goodness he's trying to eat it? He's blushing as he realises his mistake ... it might look like a donut but it's just made out of plastic! That'll cost his team valuable seconds! Cooper, Chipper and Romeo race round and achieve a brilliant time but are beaten by nano seconds by computer whizz Erin who has researched every angle and her optimum speed on her mom's laptop! Last to go are Clemmy and the girls, there is a bit of hesitation as they panic about getting their coats dirty in the sand but once they get over that they give it their all ... they even stop at the water jump to check out their reflections! They finish with their fur still immaculate and their nail polish unchipped!
Results :
BRONZE MEDAL : Cooper, Chipper & Romeo

TB Doggy-lympics Day 5 : Swimming

Event Seven : 100m Doggy Paddle

Aim : Competitors must race over 100 metres using doggy paddle.

Competitors : AJ, Belle & Kody, Boudica, Daisy Mae Sedlacek, Dudley & Minnie, The Pet Pack, Scooter & Molly, Zoey Roxy Wilson

Commentary : The eight competitors, wearing swimming caps and goggles with the sponsorship TB logo, line up on the starting blocks and await the signal to start.  As the whistle is blown, it is Scooter and Molly who dive into the water first, they paddle into the lead but are quickly followed by Boudica and The Pet Pack. Daisy Mae leaps into the water and paddles furiously, head held high while being chased by Belle & Kody. Zoey who is wearing inflatable arm bands (also sporting the sponsorship logo) carefully slides off the poolside, tail first, into the water - she paddles elegantly as she glides after the others. Dudley and Minnie pinch their muzzles before dive bombing into the water and begin to race after the others, they leave AJ standing. She glares at the water with distaste, dips her paw in and flicks it in horror! Turning her back on the pool, she stalks back to the changing rooms - tail held high. I guess swimming is just not her thing! Meanwhile it is neck and neck between Scooter & Molly and Dudley & Minnie but The Pet Pack are still strong contenders. It's all to race for as the swimmers head towards the finish, it's a tight line up with only a quarter of a second between the lead dogs. After a battle to the end, Daisy paddles to victory and wins the gold medal! She has beaten her personal best by an amazing 2 seconds!

Results :
GOLD MEDAL : Daisy Mae Sedlacek
SILVER MEDAL : Scooter & Molly
BRONZE MEDAL : Dudley & Minnie


Event Eight : Canine Dock Jumping

Aim : Competitors jump off the platform into water to achieve the greatest height and distance.

Competitors : Annie/Blossom/Wishbone, Charlie, Mystery Mutt, Raider Sicina, Shiloh's Space, Tadertot, Tannerbub/Ruggie Ru, Willie Nillie/Jessie Belle

Commentary : First on the platform is Tadertot who races forward like a flash of white lightening, but suddenly covers his eyes and promptly drops into the water with a splash, his 'unusual' technique has achieved a distance of 3.5m. The crowd cheer as he bobs back to shore. Tanner Bub and Ruggie Ru whine with excitement as they race towards the water, they glide effortlessly into the pool and the crowd howl with delight as they achieve an amazing new personal best of 7.8m! They emerge from the water as dry as when they went in with huge smiles on their faces! Annie, Blossom and Wishbone walk onto the dock and surge forwards, they reach an impressive speed before leaping skywards. As they land in the water their distance is announced, they have achieved an average distance of 8.2m. They go into the lead! A dog steps onto the dock wearing a black mask, it's Mystery Mutt! After a super hero effort 'he' achieves a reasonable 7.1 metres. The competition hots up with Willie and Jessie, they seem to fly through the air, leaping after their kong, and reach an impressive 7.7 metres. Next up is Raider Sicina, he's wearing several Birthday balloons and chases across the dock into the water, they help him float upwards, achieving a good height but slow him down on the over all length of his jump. Charlie is next, another water baby who is eager for his turn, straining on his leash, he awaits the command and he's off! He nearly takes his handler with him as she struggles to unclip his lead ... Charlie is oblivious to the drama as he surges towards the pool. He leaps a record breaking 10m (even with his lead trailing behind him!) Shiloh steps onto the dock and has carefully checked her horoscope, plotted the moon across the sun and is ready for the off. She looks slick as she races towards the water, her dive is effortless but alas she can't out jump the leaders today, the wind is too strong.

Results :
GOLD MEDAL : Charlie
SILVER MEDAL : Annie, Blossom & Wishbone
BRONZE MEDAL : Tanner Bub & Ruggie Ru

TB Doggy-lympics Day 6 : Shooting

Event Nine : Shooting

Aim : Each dog has to pee against a target painted onto a brick wall, they are aiming (excuse the pun) to hit the bullseye. Each turn is performed (another pun?) from a different station and there are three stations in all. The target is ranged from 1 to 10 points. Competitors are encouraged to drink fresh, mineral water, between shots.

Competitors : Angel Rose/Rez Rez, Chelsea/Ashton, Chappy/Whiskey/Blue, Crystal, Foley Monster/Pocket, Ginger Dash, Shadow, Willow/Fallon

Commentary : We join the competition as the members take their final shots, the dogs have just drunk 1 litre of water each and are bursting to go. First up is Willow and Fallon, they are wearing their  TB sponsored Pyjamas; they approach the target and pee in unison, shaking their butts at the other competitors before returning to the sidelines. Their score is read out over the tannoy and a cheer erupts from the crowd. The yorkies Chelsea and Ashton wait for the target to be hosed down before they perform, they synchronise their rears and force themselves to pee, both show the strain as they concentrate to expel every droplet! The girls are currently lying in 5th place. Foley and her World Champion sister Pocket find themselves deafened by the cheers from the crowd, they are carried to the station in their lucky LEOPARD VAGINA KITTY CONDO. Foley undoes her sister's lucky LEOPARD PRINT PANTS and lifts her up above her shoulders. Pocket effortlessly hits the target ... another bullseye! She has hit it three times! Is there no stopping Pocket? ... Five minutes later, Pocket has finished peeing (the crowd stop looking at their watches) and the duo leave the arena. What a relief!

Shadow races onto the station and wags his tail as he follows Pocket's example and hits the bullseye, with that round he has shot up into second place ... can Chappy, Whiskey and little Blue knock them off their spot? The guys march out to the station, each of them performing their best and they congratulate themselves as they move up the leader table.

Bottom of the pack is Ginger Dash, she has to make up some ground if she is to be honoured with a medal. Hang on? What's this? Oh my goodness! She's doing a headstand! It's worked! She's hit the bullseye! She might have short legs but she has used her long body to her advantage ... the crowd goes wild with applause! Go Ginger! Wait? Can someone help her down? Angel Rose guides Rez Rez but being a cat there is no way he'll pee against a wall and he insists on peeing in a little hole in the ground.

The current leader, Crystal, is last to go. She has scored perfect 10s in the two rounds before and is all set for gold. Her long legs are certainly helping her reach the bullseye! There is something obviously wrong as she wobbles her way to the platform. The medics rush to her aid but she waves them away. She squats, aims and fires hitting everywhere but the target. The crowd show Crystal support as the medics insist on testing her for possible doping. She is indignant that she has never touched drugs (well except for the annual booster jabs but they are on the Doggy-lympics list for permitted drugs). After several minutes, the tannoy crackles into life and announces that Crystal has tested positive for Smooch Hooch. Someone has swapped Crystal's water for pure alcohol?!? The judges threaten to show the black card but allow the competitors to vote and they all decide the results should stand. Even Crystal. Mind you, it could be argued she isn't taking things seriously - she is now serenading the judges with her rendition of I Did It My Way!!! Poor Cystal is going to feel woof tomorrow!

Results :
GOLD MEDAL : Foley Monster & Pocket

TB Doggy-lympics Day 7 : Soccer/bonus Mud wrestling

Event Ten : Treibball (Soccer meets herding)

Aim : Dogs are required to 'herd' 8 giant footballs or rolling sheep (imagine hooman exercise balls) into a goal within a time limit of 15 minutes. Handlers are not allowed to leave the sidelines, but can direct their dogs with commands or whistles.

Competitors : Angel Ladybug, Bauser, Cocoa Puff/Molly Mae/Maxx, Jackie Lynn, Judy, Louis, Lily, Reba/Dodger/Logan

Commentary : Lily arrives dressed in her USA outfit, she holds red, white and blue pom poms in her front paws and strides out into the centre of the arena, she raises her paws up high and begins to cheer " Hey Tanner Brigade, what do you say? Let's hear you yell the Lilykins way. YELL FOR LILY!!!" The crowd begins to whisper and a judge rushes over to speak to Lily, she blushes sweetly as she realises she is here to play treibball not to cheer lead. Panic then ensues as she looks down at her perfectly manicured nails and then at the muddy mouth of the goal but Jackie Lynn steps in and lends her a pair of brilliant white trainers. Lily puts her reservations aside, slips on the trainers and gets stuck in to the obvious delight of the crowd. Lily is dwarfed by the balls but she makes a game effort to push them into the goal - the mud slows her progress down as she prefers to carefully roll the balls around the mud, not through it!
Bauser looks equally smart in his TB sponsored bandanna, he gets stuck in, rolling each ball individually, as per the rules, into the goal and using his long body to help guide them in, he is very slick and has the crowd eating out of his paw! He manages all eight balls within 10 minutes and the crowd all agree he has excellent ball control!

Cocoa Puff, Molly Mae & Maxx are raring to go, they draw short straws to see who is going to run and Cocoa wins. She races out into the field and chases after the 'round sheep' guiding each one into the goal with her mom shouting out instructions. Molly Mae and Maxx struggle to contain their excitement as Cocoa moves up into first place with an amazing score, she's going to be tough to beat!

Reba, Dodger and Logan take to the ring next, they have also drawn straws and Reba and Logan are ordered back to 'The Dog Zone' and ponder on their rotten luck - Dodger AGAIN? Mom that's soooo not fair! Dodger meanwhile cannot believe his luck and is determined to try his best. He waits for the signal but unfortunately the balls seem to have developed a mind of their own and keep rolling in the wrong direction! He is followed by Daisy Mae, who is directed by Judy from the sidelines. They work well together - although their other team member Kitty seems more interested in washing herself than watching the action! Angel Louis and Coach race onto the pitch and attack each ball with relish, they push them towards the goal and don't let the mud put them off - they achieve a great time and head up the leaderboard into second place.

Angel Ladybug wags her tail as she approaches the first ball, she nudges it with her nose and propels it towards the goal. She chases it in and returns for another and another and another and another and another and another and another and is having so much fun that she loses track of time and forgets she's in a competition!

The final entrant is Jackie Lynn, she is wearing her red baseball outfit and has grabbed the once white, now muddy, trainers back off Lily. She pulls them on and spits on her sleeve, attempting to rub off the worst of the mud ... her efforts make little difference and she shrugs. On the field the balls have once again been lined up like billiard balls, they are imposing but Jackie is ready. She has been practising. Off she goes, the first few balls are pushed into the net but then she gets bored and the antics of her trainer pops into her head - she discovers that popping the balls is more fun than rolling them! Her mom and dad jump up and down in horror and then her sister makes an appearance to see what the commotion is ... she looks at Jackie and something snaps. The trainers are from Hattie's closet and they were limited edition designer sneakers from the Pup-rada range!!! Hattie is fuming. Mom and dad are fuming but it is Hattie who strikes first. She jumps into the ring and pounces on the unsuspecting Jackie and they wrestle. One second Hattie is on top, then Jackie, then Hattie ... they are soon caked in mud from head to toe - the referee blows his whistle numerous times but to no avail. It is too hard to tell which pup is which now! He calls security and Officer Ben and Sargeant Pepper step in to break up the fight and Jackie and Hattie are dragged off to the showers ...

Meanwhile the Doggy-lympic committee decide they like the look of this new sport and decide to incorporate it into the next Olympic games in 2016. Mud Wrestling is born ...

Results :
SILVER MEDAL : Angel Louis & Coach
BRONZE MEDAL : Cocoa Puff, Molly Mae & Maxx

TB Doggy-lympics Day 8 : Gymnastics part 1

Event Eleven : The Beam

Aim : Each competitor must show case their acrobatic skills on the balance beam - an old railway sleeper suspended over a stream

Competitors: Angel Mollie, Belle & Amber, Cali & Hurley, Charli, Hannah Banana & Buck, Luca, Junior & Fred, Kolchak & Felix, Snoopy & Elvis Judd

Commentary : Mollie takes to the beam to the immense cheer from the crowd, she smiles and wags her tail before the music begins. She glides effortlessly across the beam, her golden fur glistening in the sun as she leaps and dances without a wobble - even the full turn on one paw is faultless. As she double flips backwards off the beam to dismount the crowd go wild! Well done Mollie! Her routine is followed by young Charli, it is her first professional competition so she is obviously nervous - her mom pops her up onto the beam and the music starts. Charli amazes the crowd with her forward rolls, tumbles and triple tucks ... there is a fur raising moment as she nearly tumbles into the water below but she manages to recover her balance and is totally unfazed!

Snoopy and Elvis look a little cautious as they approach the beam but once their routine begins they visably relax, their routine is made more impressive as they mirror each other's moves, even dismounting at opposite ends of the beam! They are followed by Hannah Banana and her brother, they impress with their display of leaps, paw stands and tumbling. Hannah struggles a little with her previous back injury but all in all it is a brilliant routine!

Luca, Junior and Fred have hardly any room to maneuver on the beam but they still manage a more than impressive display, the guys resemble a boy band as they twist and turn in time to their music, they triple jump with ease and there is not a wobble in sight as they synchronize their turn on one paw - the crowd love it!

The beagles Belle and Amber are wearing red sequined outfits and mean business as they perform their routine, they are paw perfect throughout until poor Amber slips and drops off into the water. The crowd cry out in sympathy but Amber just shakes herself off and hops back on - she winks at the audience and finishes the routine with even more off a bounce in her step! Professional chefs Kolchak and Felix wow the crowds with their high energy routine, they work in harmony, one crouching while the other one leaps over, tumbling, turning, and at one stage they do the splits ... ouch that's got to hurt! Cali and Hurley are last but certainly not least, they wag their tails and start their minute long performance, there are a few tense moments where they look like they are struggling but they maintain their balance and carry on regardless, they leap, roll, back flip, tumble and as their finale, triple spin off the beam to the roar of the crowd.

Results :
SILVER MEDAL : Luca, Junior & Fred
BRONZE MEDAL : Cali & Hurley

TB Doggy-lympics Day 10 : Canine Pentathlon

Final Event : The Canine Pentathlon

Aim : Each competitor must compete in five modern day events.

Letter Boxing (quickest unwrap of a parcel)
Long Dump (best not to ask)
100m Rug Scooting (certainly best not to ask)
1500m Weiner Racing (dogs race carrying a sausage) and finally
10m (minute) Butt Licking (the ultimate test of agility and flexibility)

Competitors : Angel Sage, Einstein/Taz/Kameron, Hattie Mae, Lilly/Scooter/Candy, Puppy Malatesta, Reba Messina, Saffron, Zoe Boe

Commentary : The eight athletes line up on their starting 'doorstep' and at the sound of the doorbell, they race down their respective garden paths to grab their individually wrapped parcel. Puppy Malatesta races into the lead, managing to rip off the multilayers of brown parcel paper first, quickly followed by Zoe Boe and Hattie ... Lilly, Scooter and Candy are bringing up the rear - mainly because Scooter just couldn't resist stopping to sniff at the gate post and then got stuck up in the parcel tape! As the event comes to a close, Puppy is in first place, Hattie in second and Reba Messina is lying in third place. But there is all to play for as the second event starts ...

The steward leads the athletes across to the sand pit, she pulls a face and then leaves them to it. The Long Dump. I won't explain the rules but will just say what goes in must come out! The dogs get into position and the look of concentration is priceless. Hattie Mae decides that this particular event is beneath her (no pun intended) and decides to sit it out so there is everything to play for. Scooter makes no bones about getting stuck in, his face shows the strain as he battles to 'go' but Einstein, Taz and Kameron are breathing down his neck - adding to his pressure! Zoe Boe adds to the drama by taking out her sketchpad and makes some preliminary drawings much to the other's disgust! Talk about putting you opponents off!
It is a relief when that particular event ends and the leader board positions have altered; Reba now leads, Lilly, Scooter and Candy move up into second place with Hattie dropping (no pun intended!) to fifth place behind Puppy and Angel Sage.

The third event sees the contestants led indoors to Barkingham Palace where they are taken to the Grand Banqueting Hall. The room with it's ornate ceilings and crystal chandeliers is empty apart from a huge oriental rug on the floor. The dogs are led to their respective lanes and on the sound of the servant's bell begin to race - by scooting their bottoms across the floor! They have to race 100m sliding on their butts! The males have the advantage, years of practise holds them in good stead so Sage, Einstein, Taz and Kameron and (aptly named) Scooter take the lead ... the crowd outside are watching on huge TV screens and cheer their favourites on. In fourth place, Hattie Mae trys to keep up, having stopped to apply vaseline to her butt cheeks to stop any friction burns! Zoe Boe and Saffron are neck and neck - literally cheek to cheek - and it's all to play for as Scooter stops to lick his bits, allowing the girls to creep by him. The crowd goes wild as Reba crosses the line first, closely followed by Lilly, Scooter and Candy with Hattie claiming third place - she is wondering how she is ever going to live this one down ... especially when she sees young Jackie Lynn with a camera!!!

The next event is much more pleasant, the Weiner Race, where the pups have to show self control under difficult conditions! The competitors are led outside to The Mall where they once again are lined up - they have picked straws to get their lane positions and as Prince Charles fires the starting pistol, the athletes race forward (Hattie stops to get his autograph and will sell it later on D'bay), running for 50 metres before picking up the tempting cooked sausage ... Scooter mischievously swallows his before he has even gone a couple of paces with it, but his teammates do far better. Reba strikes up a fast pace and out runs the others, he is chased relentlessly by Hattie who is carrying her sausage like a cigar and trying not to taste or smell it. Sage and Saffron have no such problem, they race along at a hearty pace and look good to finish first. Zoe Boe cannot resist a little taste of her sausage and by the time she crosses the finish she has eaten more than half but is desperate not to let the judges see! As all the competitors cross the line it is Angel Sage in first, Saffron in second and Hattie and Reba fighting for third! Who has taken the lead overall?

The fifth and final event in the pentathlon, and in the D'lympics, is the 10 minute Butt Licking event - the competitors are walked along the red tarmac of the The Mall away from Barkingham Palace to St. James Park. Each athlete awaits the starting signal before they extend their tongues and start the process of their own personal ablutions. Each one extends their hind legs with the same dynamics, extend their tongues with the same grace and lick in unison. It is a very skilled operation. Midway through the competition, Scooter sees his opportunity and sidles up to Hattie instantly causing a ruckus in the crowd ... Leo is insanely jealous and it takes three security staff to keep him from storming the arena. Meanwhile Hattie protects her modesty by sitting down while Scooter protests his modus operandi! Hattie is secretly beaming! Thumbs up Lou!

Some time later ....

The athletes march onto the podium where the final scores are announced, the winners are presented with a posy of flowers and then their medal. The bronze medal is awarded, then the silver, then the final gold medal of the games is awarded to the winner.

Results :
GOLD MEDAL : Puppy Malatesta
BRONZE MEDAL : Lilly, Scooter & Candy

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