Dear Aunt Foley: We are puppies barely a few months old. Why do we need baths? How dirty could we have gotten in a matter of weeks? - Huck and Elvis
Dear Huck and Elvis: First of all, it is always good when pups write in. It keeps the column fresh. I know you weren’t with us when I was on that mortal side of the Bridge but you should know I was kind of a big deal. Now on to your question.
There are two schools of thought on this. The first one is that we are dogs. We are descended from wolves, we are meant to be outside, and anyone outside gets dirty. We should be able to bathe on our own schedule and where we want: Ponds, swamps, big puddles, whatever comes in handy. But humans always think they know better than nature and insist on doing things their own way, bathing us to make us smell something other than our natural smell, which is God awful stank. Humans do care for us, feed us, pick up our poo, and love us, so letting them bathe us now and then is a fair price to pay. But if you feel they are overdoing it jump out of the tub and run around the house shaking. That usually teaches them not to over bathe you.
But I must admit that I was part of that small minority of dogs who loved getting baths. I wasn’t crazy about being wet, but the pampering, the gentle massaging, the attention, and the clean smell were all for me. I was a bit of a girly dog. Also I always wanted to please Mommy and she never wanted a dirty pup on her lap. But I was in the minority and I certainly respect the dogs who hate their bath.
So once again humans, unless, like me, you have a bath loving dog, let dogs decide when and where to bathe. We are much more attuned to our only hygienic needs than you are.
If you can’t clean your own genitalia you shouldn’t be deciding when to clean someone else.