Dear Aunt Foley: This week my Dad took me into the gigantic water container they have in their backyard for some unknown reason. They put this jacket on me, and then Daddy held me while I splashed around. What’s up with that? - Scooter.
Dear Scooter: When I was a younger dog I thought the large water container was an emergency stash for the zombie apocalypse because everyone knows that when zombies strike they hit the water department first to sap our vital resources (and if they don’t they should because it’s a wicked good plan.) But then I wondered why they would assume the zombies would only attack between June and September and cover the water container up the rest of the time. That’s when it came to me, they used to pool to cool off when the weather got hot.
Actually it is a pretty good idea, as I think it must be very expensive to build an ocean outside your house. I am sure humans love it. And, like all things that humans love, they want to share it with us (unless it is alcohol or chocolate, the two forbidden zones.)
So you got to go in the pool. I am sure it was very scary at first especially for tiny dogs like us who aren’t very good at pushing off the bottom of the pool and rising to the top. But your parents knew that so they put the jacket on you so you can float. It is very much what it’s like to be up here with the angels flying from cloud to cloud.
So the pool is a little bit of heaven on Earth. Except it’s a lot wetter . And you are basically swimming around in a pool of human filth. But you do get to be with them, it’s safe, it’s fun, and you get to cool off on a hot day.
So enjoy the pool my friend, just never go in without your Mommy and your jacket. Humans love to share what they love with us but they are not too crazy about us enjoying it on our own.