Ask Aunt Foley

Dear Aunt Foley:   My Mom’s suitcases are out again.   That means she is leaving us.  Why do our parents have to leave?  -Lonely

Dear Lonely:  There is nothing worse than when our parents leave.  There are usually two reasons for this:  Business or pleasure.  But the real reason is that no human has stood up and said:  “Hey, let’s agree with all love our dogs, want them with us all the time, and allow them to go everywhere humans go.”

Oh sure, the lucky blind people get to take their dogs everywhere but perhaps it is because the blind people are the only ones who can truly see that dogs belong everywhere.  As I wrote about a few weeks ago dogs make the work place better and the truth is dogs make everywhere better.

I do think the onus is on us a bit.  We have to become disciplined and not just in our “business” movements.  You got to know when to hold them and know when to fold them and if your Mom is in the middle of a business meeting that’s no place to fold them.  And we can’t bark at every single person we see, and every noise.  It is going to be hard but we have to meet the humans half way.

As for travel well, that’s is up to the individual dogs.  Lots of us don’t travel too well.  Car sickness is common.  A train is no place for a dog.  And unless you are a small dog like me you have to ride in the cargo part of the airplane which, I have heard, is the scariest thing in the world.

So humans are going to have to invent something for else to travel on.  Something that is not loud, does not go too fast, let’s us stick out heads out the window without falling out, doesn’t make us sick, let’s us out to pee, let’s us sniff, and has plenty of food stops.  

Perhaps it would be better just to sleep for the week and wait for our parents to come home.

Wordless Wednesday

Smoochy is Our October 26, 2014 Pup of the Week

I have always believed when it comes to dog illnesses the more vowels in the disease’s name the worst it is.  But this week I learned of the scariest dog illness ever:  One with no vowels. 

Our very close friend Smoochy was diagnosed with MRSA, an infection that is resistant to antibiotics.  MRSA is common in humans but not in dogs.  I did not know that the disease could be transmitted from human to dog, but in Smoochy’s case it was.  And humans are worried about us giving them Ebola.

We dont’ know how Smoochy go it.  We know that he has always liked to chew his paws.  We tell him it’s a bad idea but when he’s bored his paw is right at the end of his foot and off he goes.  Last week he chewed it so badly he had to go to the vet.  Smoochy was given an antibiotic and was sent merrily on his way while the vet ran some simple blood tests.

The next morning Smoochy was stunned when he was taken to the kennel.  When his Mom came to pick him up he knew she was scared and he wondered who was sick.  Then his mother turned into the vet’s parking lot.  Could he be the one who is sick?   When his vet treated him while she wore gloves which she had never done before.  Then his Mom was given more drugs for him, big horsie drugs,  and he was brought home.

And then the most awful thing happened.  Everything Smoochy owned, everything he accumulated through a long life, was being thrown out by his Mom, while she wore long rubber gloves.  Toys, balls, sheets, his bed, even his beloved Monkey were gone, into a black bag and then into the barrel that would be left on the side off the road and taken away by the men in a truck.

Once all his possessions were gone Smoochy’s Mom sat next to him and gently stroked his fur with her rubber glove.  She told him that he had contracted a terrible, life threatening disease called MRCR and if they were not careful he could give it to her.  She didn’t know how he got it, maybe something to do with his chewed up paw, but he had it, and it was serious, for both of them.

Over the next couple of days the full effect of the bacterial infection took hold and poor Smoochy was miserable.  He had to take the huge pills every morning (but did enjoy that they were wrapped in ham.)  His foot was terribly swollen, he had no appetite, and he didn’t have the strength to stand causing him to pee his blanket.  His friends gathered in prayer hoping our friend was strong enough to fight off this infection.

He has slowly improved.  He ate some kibble.  He managed to hold his pee until he got outside.  His paw still looks like it belonged to an olyphant and he won’t stop chewing on it, perhaps to try to gnaw some of  it away, but his  eyes are clearer and he can stand long enough to get loving attention from his Mom’s gloved hand.

As of today Smoochy is waiting for a trip back to the vet mid-week to see if the pills worked.  He needs a great deal of prayer before then to rid his perfect canine form of this hideous human disease that no one can understand how he got.

And they kill us because we may carry Ebola.

So say a prayer for Smoochy tonight.  He’s the kind of dog who make all dogkind better, and we would be a poorer world without him.

River Song: The Fresh Princess Of Taunton

Now, this is a story all about how

My life got flipped-turned upside down

And I’d like to take a minute

Just sit right down

I’ll tell you how I became the princess of a town called Taunton

In Southern United States born and bred

On the back deck was where I spent of of my days sunnin’

Chllin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool

Thinking living up North must be for a fool

When another Griff came up sporting wood

Snuck up behind me, lifted up the trunk and got under the hood

I had one little pregnancy and my Mom was done

She said “You’re movin’ with a brand new family in a town called Taunton”

I begged and pleaded with her day after day

But she packed up my harnesses and sent me on my way

She gave me a kiss and then she gave me a ticket

Luckily she sent me with a friend, so in storage I didn’t have to kick it.

Coach class, yo not for me,

Drinking water from a sippy cup not being able to pee pee

Is this what the people in the North be living like?

Gonna have to head down south even if I need to sit in a basket on a bike

I hear they’re hard edged, bitter and mean

It’s gonna be like trying to find a clean lap at Charlie Sheen’s

I don’t think it’’s happening

I’m not good with the unknown

Don’t think I am prepared for a towncity called Taunton

Well the plane landed and I came out

I was given to a woman I didn’t know who started calling my wrong name out

I wasn’t trying to get adopted

I just got here

But she sprang with quickness like lightening and me disappeared

She brought me in a car and she held me near

There was a dog decal on the car and a Yorkie sticker on the mirror

I could tell by the way she held me this was my new Mom

So I forgot all the bad thoughts and said “Yo, Mom homes to Taunton”

We got to our house about 7 or 8

A little Yorkie ran up and I said “Yo homes smell you later”

I looked at my kingdom

I was finally home

To sit on my throne as the Princess of Taunton

Ask Aunt Foley

Dear Aunt Foley:  What is it about stuffed dog toys that causes them to explode their guts all over our floor?  - The French Bulldogs

This is part of Big Stuffie’s business plan.  They don’t want to make toys that last so they make them with weak points and, if we chew with any force at all, we rip them, and the stuffing comes out.  That way our parents have to go out and buy us a new one lining the pockets of Big Stuffie.

Now if you are a good dog, like we are, you gently chew your toys so you don’t rip them open.   This takes a great deal of self control because it is part of our breeding to play with anything that squeaks going back to our days of being wild in a pack and rabbits had squeakers in them.We wouldn’t kill the little buggers, we would just walk around squeaking them, which angered the villagers, who, through selective breeding, stopped rabbits from squeaking so they could get a decent nights sleep.

Us dogs are nothing if not flexible, and, just as we learned not to walk around with a squirming rabbit in our mouths when they weren’t squeaking, we learned how to play with our toys without ripping them open.  Our toys were lasting for years.  But Big Stuffie was losing money.

So that’s when they put a sensor in all our toys.  When we are near them and there are no humans around, they make a whirring sound, and then poof, all the stuffing goes flying out of them, there is a large hole in the middle of them, and the sound draws our parents into the room, and they yell at us for doing the destuffing.

We look at them with our big eyes telling them that the toy just blew up but you know what?  They never listen.  They tell us that it’s impossible that it just blew up and then go off and get use another one, and sometimes, within just a few hours, poof, it blows up again and we get the blame.

So, until our parents learn the evils of Big Stuffie we are going to be at the mercy of the exploding toys that make us look bad.  And don’t get me started on self-ripping slippers.

Wordless Wednesday

Crickette Anne is our October 19, 2014 Pup of the Week

Ask us dogs at the Bridge if any of us shouldn’t be there and every pup’s paw will go in the air.  We know why we are here, that it is for the best, but we still don’t think we should be here.  And then there are the dogs who should have been here long ago, and that brings us to our latest arrival Crickette Anne.

Crickette was an older dog when she came to live with her Mom.  She was living in a public housing unit with her first Mom and another dog, who was the first  Mom’s service animal, and the first Mom’s landlord found out and threatened the woman with eviction.  She needed to find another home for Cricket, and, at the age of ten she became the newest members of the Min Pin Gang. In October 2012 Crickette came home.

Crickette fit right in as soon as she walked in the door.  She slept in her human brother’s bed.  She got sent a gift basket from Hannah Banana’s Mom.  Other DS parents sent money to help get her to the Min Pin Gang.  Everything was going along swimmingly.

Next on the agenda was getting Crickette’s teeth fixed.  But before her operation she developed a bad cough and labored breathing making her Mom concerned about putting her under for the procedure.  The vet checked and did not find anything seriously wrong with her.  Her painful mouth was fixed.

But Crickette’s breathing got worse.  She was diagnosed with a collapsed trachea which is very scary (speaking from experience here) for both dog and Mom.  She could not get air and she had to go on oxygen (speaking from experience that stuff is great, until they take you off of it) and she got some shots.  But Crickette was not happy about being away from her new family and she caused such a fuss they sent her home.

On good days Crickette was breathing with slight difficulty.  On bad days Crickette’s breath was very labored and she was taken to the vet, who kept insuring Crickette’s Mom that the min-pin was getting better by baby steps.

And she did, until she got to a certain point.  The trachea would never completely heal and the little adopted senior would need medicine her whole life.  Some Moms, only having Crickette for a few months, would have given up on this little financial burden but Crickette was now a member of the Min-Pin Gang and was not going anywhere.  Even if, despite her teeth work, still had rather horrid breath.

Crickette settled into living with the Gang, and her breathing became better, but her teeth and breath grew worse, and within a year she needed another operation, which, given her breathing problems, was a very big risk.  She had to have several more teeth out but like the trooper she is she recovered from the surgery.

Two years later Crickette started coughing again but this time the problem was not her trachea.  She had an enlarged heart with fluid around it.  The vet put her on meds to remove the fluid.  Around the time Hurricane Sandy slammed the east coast Crickette’s breathing had deteriorated.  She went back to the vet who determined that her trachea had collapsed again, and may be infected, along with the enlarged heart and fluid in the lungs, her outlook was grim. She was placed on six different medications to aid her breathing.  Slowly the medicine began to help her.   After a month the trachea had improved, and the fluid had gone down, but Crickette would be on medication for the rest  of her life because of her enlarged heart.

In the summer of 2012 Crickette had another health scare as she began to drip urine.  Luckily it was due to the amount of Lasix she was taking, and when cut back on her dosage her urine problem stopped.

Before Christmas Crickette had another bad episode.  She was beyond the time a pup diagnosed with congestive heart failure should have survived and her parents knew that any day could be her last.  But little Crickette kept going.

And then things happened far beyond the control of dogs.  Sometimes our parents drift apart and living together becomes much harder than living alone, and the Min Pin Gang’s Mom decided to move away, taking Crickette and three siblings with her.  But shortly after that decision was made Crickette, who was now at least 15, suffered the effect of vestibular disease.  It is a brain problem that mimics a stroke.  She was put on more medication.

But Crickette had no more fight left in her, and, in one of life’s cruel tricks, as Crickette’s Mom’s life crumbled around her, she had to make the decision to help the dog who she had spent four years working so hard to keep from the Bridge, go there.  On Thursday morning, from her Mom’s loving arms, Crickette arrived at the Bridge.

There were hundreds of dogs waiting to meet her.  She had avoided our fate for so long.  If she hadn’t been evicted from her public housing unit it is doubtful her old Mom could have paid for her medical costs, and if she hadn’t been taken in by Miss Betty it is doubtful another Mom would have spent the time and money taking care of a senior dog who was adopted just to live out her last years in comfort..  

While there were friends and family there to greet her Crickette had one thing on her mind.  Her Mom needed an angel, and we taught her as quickly as possible how to watch over her Mom all the time, and since arriving here she has been, but it has been a rough ride, as her Mom is lost without her baby.  Hopefully knowing the Crickette is now her full time angel will help her broken heart.

Personally, I had my minions do some research for this blog.  The last journal Miss Betty wrote, about Crickette’s going to the Bridge, was the Min Pin’s Gang’s 1,250 journal entry on Doggyspace.  Reading the Gang’s journal was like reading the history of DS with names like Morgan the Miracle Malteses, the first blog posts about Cooper and Willie getting sick.  The entire history of DS is contained there thanks to Crickette and her family, including her meeting Max and Tupper last year. They were the first to pups  meet Crickette when she arrived at the Bridge.

And sadly, they show how we have drifted apart.  Five years ago the Min Pin’s blogs were read by 600-700 members, now it’s down to under 150.  We’ve scattered so much, some to other sites, some to the Bridge.  But we will always be family, we will always be part of a gang.

And thanks to Crickette and her Mom we will always be members of the Min Pin Gang.

For life.

And after that.

Ask Aunt Foley: Do zombies make good parents?

Dear Aunt Foley:  There seems to be a lot of talk about a zombie apocalypse lately.  As dogs what should we do if one occurs?  - Brody

Dear Brody:  I get this question a lot.  Humans are obsessed with zombies, and they are obsessed with getting Ebola making their greatest fear zombies who have Ebola.

Symptoms of having Ebola include having diarrhea which means every person who goes through a Taco Bell drive thru should be quarantined for a month.  Regardless Ebola Zombies is a real fear, or at least it will be when I drop into Wolf Blitzer’s dreams and whisper it to him.  Then we will be one CNN graphic artists’ work from having a full  blown pandemic.

No one wants to be bitten by the undead but a zombie with diarrhea is the perfect storm of terror  Sure The Walking Dead can do a big scene of zombies feeding on people while they are on fire but let’s see them to a scene with zombies feeding on people with Ebola laced explosive diarrhea.  “Hey Rick, why don’t you sneak up behind that walker and slam a screwdriver into the back of his head?” “I think I’m going to let you handle this with you bow and arrow from ten feet away Darryl.”

Oh dear I have strayed off topic.  Your question was about regular zombies.  The first thing you should do is run, run like the wind!  Then quietly come back to them, sidle up next to them, and see if there is enough human feelings left in the zombie to recognize you.  You will know this within ten seconds because that is the amount of time it will take them to eat you.

If they don’t eat you then you are in for a pretty sweet deal.  Zombies walk around all the time, we love to walk, so that’s a win win.  Zombies do have have food aggression issues, but they don’t care if you pick up a spare shin bone and gnaw on it.  Also zombies don’t get upset if you poop on their lawn, since it is usually covered with brains.

On the downside there is never a warm lap, we are going to have to go back to hunting for food, and when they pet your fur most of their hand comes off on you.

So you are much better off with your Mom, might be OK with a zombie Mom, but if you get a zombie Ebola Mom you’re screwed.

Whose Walk Is It Anyway? By Pocket

My Daddy was in a pet store the other day.  There was “dog” training ongoing.  (We all know they train the humans.)  This trainer told the parents that, while walking us, not to stop and let us sniff.  “It is your walk, not theirs,” the trainer said.

When Daddy got home, as I have instructed, he told me what was going on in the outside world including what this so called trainer said.  I was stunned.  It’s the parents walk, not ours?  What kind of insanity is this?

Of course it is our walk.  Humans just don’t go walking on their own.  If you do see them on foot it is either because they have misplaced their driver’s license, don’t have money for gas, don’t have money for a cab, are searching for their stolen car, or are undead.  Humans do not walk without a good reason.  They aren’t built for it.

In fact we are blamed for the walk.  “I have to take the dog for a walk,” the humans say.  They don’t say “I am going for my walk I guess I will take the dog along.”  And saying we should not be allowed to sniff?  That’s like saying humans can’t get mail or go on the Internet.  Tree mail is how we keep up with everything that is going on in the neighborhood.

We are the hit of the park when we go one walks.  People give our humans a polite nod when passing by but they always shout a comment about how cute we are when they see us on our walk.  They have to shout because we are always barking.  Daddy tries to shush us as we walk but we can’t hear him because of all that barking.

Plus our walks is where we do our business.  Humans used to have to go for a walk before they did their business but then someone invented indoor plumbing.  We would be happy to use the indoor plumbing too if someone invented flushable floors, but, since that seems to be beyond human conception,, we are going to have to go for walks.

Our walks, not human walks.  So if any human tells you it’s not our walk tell them to drop their pants and do their business the yard or drop their attitude.

Wordless Wednesday

We were awarded the Versatile Blogger Award

On behalf of my sisters on  the mortal side of the Bridge I would like to thank the author of the Death by Chocolate blog for nominating us for the very prestigious Versatile Blogger Award.  I would like to thank everyone who voted for me, the writers, the producers, the director (I am all of them) for helping us to secure the nomination.  Securing a nomination is a group effort and I thank every member of this group 90% of which is me.)

It is a very beautiful rewards.  We are very proud of it.  But there are rules of accepting the award.  I have already thanked the Death By Chocolate blog and provided a link to their blog.  That was number one.  And then we have to list seven things about us.  We are going to write seven things about our Mom because I think that is what is meant.  So here they are.

1. Mommy is actually painfully shy and hates to talk on the phone, or meet new people, and she only found her voice through us dogs.
2. Mommy was an x-ray technician when she was younger but gave it up to raise her children.
3. Mommy has been married for 40 years but they have been to two different men.  Not at the same time.
4. Mommy has had both knees replaced after a dozen knee operations before then, she has had lots of other surgeries too including gall bladder, back, and rotator cuff.  
5. It took three years before Daddy convinced Mommy to get a dog.  Since then Mommy can’t imagine living without a dog.
6. Mommy and Daddy are two of the youngest people living in their 55 and over community.  She had to move to one because she has such a tough time on stairs.  She considers moving here one of the best decisions she has made.
7. Daddy helps Mommy with her blogging but never wants any credit.  They are a team, like Boris and Natasha.

Now the 15 blogs I am nominating for the major award.  These are blogs that I follow regularly because I think they are entertaining, informative, and just plain great.

Bella and Roxy https://www.blogger.com/profile/10268052368797347239

The Idaho Pug Ranch https://www.blogger.com/profile/02669402027179060942

Tweedles http://tweedles-georgie.blogspot.com/

BZ Dogs http://www.bzdogs.com/

Mitch and Molly http://northfordmaggie.blogspot.com/

24 Paws of Love http://www.24pawsoflove.com/

Bouncing Bertie’s Blog http://bouncingbertie.blogspot.com/

Dachshund Nola http://dachshundnola.blogspot.com/

Downunder Daisy http://scotsmad.blogspot.com/

Gospel of Goose  http://gospelofgoose.blogspot.com/

Madi and Mom http://downhomeinnc.blogspot.com/

Ruby the Airedale http://www.rubytheairedalepup.com/

Talking Dogs Blog http://www.talking-dogs.com/

The Doxie Life of Lily, Muffin and their Humans http://lovablelily.blogspot.com/

Whitey Westie http://whitleywestie.blogspot.com/

Pup of the Week: For Dodie

There is a church to the east of Rainbow Bridge.  It sits far off in the distance.  Most days we can only see the steeple lit in a warm summer glow.  Inside the steeple is a bell older than time.  I had never heard that bell ring, until Wednesday morning.   But I knew what it meant.  We all knew what it meant.

It is rung when a Dual Mom arrives.  This is not the true mother of two children, but the true mother of two species,  one being man, and the other being pet.  A Mom was arriving, and we dogs were being called to the human section of the River of Life, because one of our Moms was arriving.

You would think this would bring us all joy, but, as we all ran towards the church, up and down the green hills, through the flower beds, past the rose bushes, we all had the same wish.  “Not ours.”  We know how much pain our passings bring to humans, but when they lose one of their own….and especially if that one is leaving pet babies behind, we can feel the pain from the mortal side of life like an ill, chilling wind.

We arrived at the top of the Bridge where the new dual Mom had arrived.  She was surrounded by  people, all hugging and crying  Us dogs pulled up short, not wanting to interfere  I new arrival said :”Oh June,” and hugged her sister,

Then a little beagle dog passed me running as fast as I have ever seen a dog run.  I didn’t know the dog all that well although he had been here forever, then I heard the woman cry out “Frisky” and the Mom was reunited with a pup she had not seen for close to 50 years.

Tommy Tunes was standing near me.  He knows everyone who was ever on DS and who they are related to.  “That’s Dodie Ricca.” he whispered “she is Lil Guy’s, Sammy’s, and Rickey’s Mom.”

Another pup passed me, this one a Lhaso named Cosmo.   She bent down and picked Cosmo up, and there were more tears.  I felt them too, part of which were for all Dodie’s dogs who went to the Bridge and were now surrounding her in joy, and some for Lil; Guy, Sammy and Rickey who were now without their Mom.

Cooper had come up next to me and could see I was thinking about those left behind.  He put a kind paw on my shoulder and told me that Lil Guy, Sammy and Rickey had a great Dad who would give them a wonderful life and they wouldn’t want for anything for the rest of their days, and when those days ended, and they came here, they would find the greatest treasure a dog could find here:  Their Mom.  I have a great Dad too, but I couldn’t imagine what I would have done without my Mom.

Then Dodie was given a choice of where to live  She could go to the human side, or live on our side, in the valley near the river.  Of course she chose our side,  where Gina Busch and Jackie Pool live, where Dodie would have gardens surrounding her cottage and more gardens floating on  clouds.   The floating gardens were lovely but I knew if I came back in a few months Dodie would have them so pretty it would take my breath away.

Then she saw and walked towards me.  I tried to blink away my tears and look important, even if I had forgotten my robes.  First she told me to let Lil Guy, Rickey and Sammy know that she would visit them in their dreams, and that dogs have a big advantage over humans because they would remember the dream visits.  She also wanted her family and friends to know she loves them all and is sorry she had to go so quickly but humans, like dogs, only have so many heartbeats, and sometimes we don’t have enough heartbeats to say goodbye.  Finally she made me promise that any dogs who came over the Bridge and had never known love would be brought to her so she could give them the love they never knew on Earth.  I was so moved to meet such an important Mom I could only nod.

She then turned to go back to her cottage where her ancestors and angel pets waited..  I watched them for awhile, and then I slowly walked back to our side of the Bridge.  I stopped and looked up at the bell tower.  I stopped and wondered which Mom would arrive the next time the bell rung.

And then I remembered to never ask for whom the bell tolls.

Ask Aunt Foley

Dear Aunt Foley:  My  Mom wants to know why we bark at the fence when we go outside?  The Dog Whisperer said that dogs who run outside and bark, or bark inside the house just need more exercise.  is this true?  - Confused

Dear Confused:  Oh this Dog Whisperer guy over bakes my cookies.  I heard him say when a human moves into a new house they should take their dog for a three hour walk.  Three hours?  I guess when the only time you moved is slipping over the border with a backpack full of your dearest possession this is possible but for everyone else, like everything else he says, it’s unrealistic.

Mr. Whisperers answer to everything is more exercise when in reality, if you were playing Dog Jeopardy when “exercise” is a clue the question is “What do you do if you have a big butt?”

Pocket and I, for two little dogs, got at least one 15 minute walk a day, which is a lot of steps for tiny legs.  I barked at everything we saw during our walks, including the leaves that fell from the trees and became alive dancing and skipping across the street.  Daddy kept shushing  me, which was very rude, except when we walked by the house decorated for Halloween with the vampires, skeletons and zombies.  Daddy encouraged us to bark at the undead.

And I got home I might lie on the cool floor for a bit, or snuggle up in a chair, but if I saw a kitty or squirrel outside my window, or if I heard something that sounded like a car door shutting or a knock on the door I was up and barking like I had been napping for an hour.

What I am telling you is that you can walk the dog but you can’t walk the dog out of a dog.

And please stop listening to Mr. Whisperer.  He doesn’t understand us anymore than anyone else.  He just sounds more convincing when explaining that he does.

Nearly Wordless Wednesday

Us posing in the wonderful bandannas made for us by Josie's Mom.  There are extra ones behind us.  Thank you so much our friend and for your wonderful Mom who is so generous and talented.  We love you.

Tuesday Beat This Captio

Someone is wearing a cute shirt, someone is not

Nigel is Our October 5, 2014 Pup of the Week

I had two more friends join me this past week: Duke and Lorelei.  I would love to write flowing tributes to them both, every dog who crosses the Bridge deserves flowing tributes, but I don’t know their past well enough to do them justice.  Now I promise to look after them and get to know them.

Now I have a special message to my friend Nigel:  Sorry Nigel, you are not welcome here.  (Psst, Nigel:  You are really welcome here.  You have hundreds of friends who would comfort you, teach you what to do , and enjoy your company, but, since we want you to stay with your Mom and Dad as long as possible I am pretending that we don’t want you here so you aren’t sent here.)

We became aware of the possibility of Nigel coming here earlier this week.  He spent a night with labored breathing.  His parents rushed Nigel to his vet:  Dr Mike.  Right away Dr. Mike said Nigel had heart and lung problems.  He also said it sounded like he had an extra heartbeat.  Since Nigel is so sweet we thought it possible he had two hearts but apparently this is not possible.

Dr Mike told Nigel’s parents that he had congestive heart failure which is not a good thing.  The Cardio vet said he wanted to do an echogram and an x-ray because Nigel has a larger than normal heart (which we knew, but again doesn’t seem to be a good thing.)  He also had fluid around his heart and in his lungs.  Nigel got an injection of lasix and some lasix pills.  If the fluid around his heart goes down he can be put on normal heart medication.  He needed to be kept quiet and calm for a few days. And he needed plenty of prayers too.

Those he got, by the barrell full, and we began flying them up the mountain.  But then I split our forces.  Half of us flew prayers up the mountain while the rest of us painted signs, put them on posts, and then marched at the base of the Big Guy’s mansion stating the there was no room for Nigel at The Bridge; Nigel Snores Too Loudly; Bulldogs are unfairly represented at the Bridge; Keep Nigel Out!

Of course none of us felt this way.  But we were desperate.  If we could convince the Big Guy that Nigel would cause a disruption at the Bridge maybe he would leave him on the mortal side, as long as none of us let slip that we actually loved him and would welcome him with open wings.  It was a desperate ploy, but with all the friends that have joined us recently, we had the right to be desperate.

Only the mortal side of the Bridge the drugs and the prayers, and maybe the protests, seemed to be working.  Nigel’s breathing was not as heavy and he was acting like he felt better.  There is an upcoming appointment with a cardio vet on Monday so keep those prayers coming.

And we will keep our protests going so Nigel does not come here for a long time.  (And don’t worry, the Big Guy doesn’t read my blog posts, he can’t handle a little criticism.)

When that day comes, hopefully a long, long time from now Nigel, we will all hug you and kiss you, but until then the “Keep Out Nigel” sign stays above the Bridge.