Friday, January 9, 2015

Ask Aunt Foley: The Rabbits Are Scheming

          Dear Aunt Foley:   I live in a house with a barn.  At the barn we have a burn pit.  Once a year, in the winter, my Dad burns old tree limbs, excess lumber and other items.   Dad prefers to burn when there is snow on the ground so the fire does not spread.  This week burn pit day came.  I was chilling outside with my brother Kane when we saw a trespassing rabbit and we cannot abide a trespassing rabbit on our property so I chased it.  The stupid rabbit ran right into the fire pit and I followed.  I singed the hair off my lower legs but was otherwise unhurt.  Meanwhile the rabbit escaped unscathed.  Do you think the rabbit ran into the fire on purpose? – Damaged Daisy
          Dear Damaged Daisy:  Of course that rabbit did it on purpose.  Let me tell you about these rabbits Daisy, they are getting smarter, and they are scheming against us.  So we need to be smarter too.  Why back in my day you just chased a rabbit down and ripped it apart, and they were glad, glad I say, just happy for the attention but this new breed of rabbit they think they have all sorts of rights and things and now they have gone so far as to lead us into a fire.  Well I have an important piece of advice for you my dear friend.
          Don’t run into the fire!  Now please understand.  I know you didn’t mean to run into the fire.  You just let your instinct take over but the Bridge is busting at the seams with dogs who arrived here because they were following their instincts and got hit by a car, or drowned, or ran into a fire.  And now that the rabbits have figured out how to manipulate our instincts so they can gain the upper hand on us we must be doubly diligent not to let them trick us anymore.
          But what really worries me about this incident isn’t that the rabbit ran into the fire to trap you but that he ran out of the fire.  What exactly does that mean?  Is this a zombie rabbit?  A vampire rabbit?  An immortal rabbit?  I knew it the minute I read Watership Down.  These rabbits have gotten uppity and much smarter.  Damn that Hazel.
          I am going to personally investigate this rabbit thing but until I have an answer please don’t run into any more fires.

      You can read more of Foley's adventures HERE

1 comment:

  1. We totally understand. When we see something small and furry, we just GO! We don't see anything else.

    What a wotten wabbit that was.