My parents have been trying to adjust to the new normal. They are home a lot. Two dogs can be in the same room all day with no conflict, but for humans, it is different. This is the curse of talking. People think it is an advantage, but it is not. Dogs have one opinion: It is woof. People have a million different opinions, and many of them conflict with their housemates. When you are inside for days on end, these conflicts keep building up until one day someone says something, and the other starts wondering how they are going to survive locked up with someone as dumb as their partner. They say something and bang: It’s on. Things get loud, and everything in my body turns to water. It is always the Yorkie that suffers. It is like being in prison, but you don’t have to cook or clean in prison. That’s a big advantage for the prisoners. People should stick to woof.
Being home all day with nothing to do does make our parents understand us better. We bark when we see or think we see something, in the hope that the monotony of the day will be broken. My parents used to tell me to stop barking at nothing. Now, if they think they hear something outside, they stand up and run to the window, yelling, “someone is here! Someone is here!” It is often just a squirrel. My parents bark at it to get out of their yard.
We used to bark just a happy hello to the delivery men who leave things on our porch. Now, when they arrive, our parents are twice as excited as we ever were. They run to the window and tap on the glass. “Would you like a cup of coffee?” they ask. “Or a piece of cake?” The delivery men shake their heads. “Don’t leave us!” our parents yell. “Talk to us! Tell us about your day! What is it like out there! Don’t go!” It is sad, pathetic.
One day this week, the doorbell rang. River and I go crazy when the doorbell rings, but nothing like my parents did. They both jumped up and began dancing around. “Someone is here! Someone is here!” they shouted. “We are going to get to talk to someone who isn’t you,” they yelled at the same time. They excitedly ran to the door. No one was there. Then the doorbell rang again. They looked at one another, confused. I didn’t have the heart to tell them it was just the TV.
Our parents are so hard to manage when we take them for walks. We make sure there is no one walking on the same side of the street as we are so they don’t come within six feet of anyone. When my parents do see people, they start yelling at them and pulling on the leash to get to the humans. We have to dig our little paws in the dirt to keep from getting dragged across the street. If not, they would break free and begin to jump on the people and lick their faces, a big social distancing no-no.
With each passing day, it is getting harder for we dog to keep these wild humans at bay. They are so annoying with their running, their anxiety, their jumping every time they hear a sound, their food guarding, their leash pulling, and their chasing squirrels like the furry little creature will be their last meal.
I don’t know if I can last much longer. These untamable dogs humans are driving me crazy