I have come up with the most fabulous idea. Because I am under quarantine, I can’t market it to the mortal world, which is unfortunate because I told the Shark Tank about it via email, and all of them wanted to invest. The dolphin and swordfish tanks were interested too, but if you're going to make money, you have to have a shark. If someone markets my idea, they promise to help. It will help humans and Yorkies also. My idea is the Yorkie facemask
And not just a facemask with a picture of a Yorkie on it, which would be awesome, but not the true perfection that is my intention. I have invented a way to use a living Yorkie as a mask. It will protect you even more than wearing a frog on your head.
There are several different ways to wear a Yorkie that protects you from the virus. If a Yorkie has a big fluffy tail, she can sit on your shoulder and cover your mouth with a simple wag. Once this method of using a Yorkie mask becomes popular, then maybe humans will stop the hideous practice of docking Yorkie tails.
Yorkies with tails are as rare as a cure for the virus, so I had to come up with other methods for implementing the Yorkie facemask. The easiest way is also the most taxing for humans, and that is to hold the little dog up to your mouth to protect it.
I have developed several other methods, as well. You can loosely wrap a scarf around your head and then put the Yorkie in it. She can snuggle right next to your mouth, and you can freely breathe without the threat of dropping dead a few minutes later. A person can get a head sock four sizes too large and shove their Yorkie in it and pull it over their mouth. If your dog is calmer than the average Yorkie, you can put their right legs behind your ears and balance them on your chin. Or, you can use the mug on the muff method and bury your face in Yorkie naughty.
There are so many advantages to having a Yorkie mask. Since we do not get sick, even if we get the virus, we not only block the vicious droplets spit, but we suck them up like Spock absorbing radiation in “The Wrath of Khan.” We also can sharpen our abilities as anti-social networking dogs by using our three great powers: Farts, surprise peeing, and an evil growl, to scare off anyone who is sick, or an insurance salesman.
I know that there are other breeds that would like to help their parents the same way, but we are uniquely suited for the job. Other small breeds like chihuahuas don’t have the hair that we do, and English Sheepdogs are too big and hot to wear.
So before you go out, strap on a Yorkie. You will be safe and stylish.