River Visits the World's Oldest Living Dog

This week, I was there when Pebbles, the world’s oldest dog, crossed the Bridge after 22 years on the mortal side. She was born the same year as Foley. Imagine Foley farting, sleeping all day long, and not being able to hold her pee, so no different. Pebbles was happy to arrive after her long service. It took a long time for all her pain to be washed away by the river, but when Pebbles climbed, she was finally young again and happily living her immortal life.  

This made a chihuahua named TobyKeith, also 22, the oldest living dog. It was a title Toby had held before. When word of his longevity reached the media, Pebbles’ parents surfaced, proving she was older and stripping TobyKeith of his title. The circumstances of Pebble’s passing, having been caused by bad kibble, lead to some suspicion that a jealous Toby had eliminated the competition.  

I decided to investigate and visited Toby as a ghost. When he first saw me, he excitedly asked if I was there to give him the sweet kiss of death. When I said I wasn't he grumbled in disappointment and asked what I wanted. 

I said there was a lot of conjecture about how Pebbles passed over. “I already talked to the coppers,” Toby said. “Pebbles ran her mouth then ate something bad. Accidents happen.”

I asked if he was happy to be back to being the oldest dog: “I always have been the oldest dog. I was far older than Pebbles; it wasn’t even close. Suddenly they found boxes and boxes of days they had added to Pebbles's age. They call it a dump. I took care of it, and things are back to how they should be.”

I asked how he was feeling now.

“Great,” he said sarcastically, “I get up then stand on the pad for ten minutes,  hoping  I pee. I can barely see,e and my mom keeps moving the couch. I walk right into the fricken thing. And I must drag my legs across the floor because mommy doesn’t wash my wheels, and I leave tracks. Never mind I

I can’t remember where I buried my bones, and my stuffies  are all destuffed.

“Still, I am king, and no one can unseat me. I am the oldest, and this time I will enjoy it.” He licked his paw and looked at me. 

“Who are you? Are you to give me the sweet kiss of death?

That is when I left him. I hope he has a long reign.

And, while I wished I had been with you longer, I am glad I checked out before I was 22.