The Ruby Rose Report: The Triple D - Another Daddy DYI Disaster

 

Monday was an exciting and tense day, as it always is when Daddy takes on a do-it-yourself project.

    Daddy has trouble looking at a diagram and being able to repeat it. He has similar problems picturing how something should go together after reading directions. I am sure there is a -term for it: Back in the 70s it was called stupid.

We have a large bay window in the living room facing west. With no trees on that side of the house when the sun gets high in the western sky the living room turns into an oven. 

My Dad, when he was a child, liked at Christmas time, to open the Sears catalog and make a list of everything there he wanted. For him, many years later, Amazon has taken the place of the catalog and when Daddy sees something he wants he puts it on a wish list, and with one click he has it delivered not by Santa, but by overworked men in dark suits They don’t even get milk or cookies.

When looking through the Amazon catalog he found film, that can be put on the windows and block the sun from heating the house.

He ordered it right away.

I tried to bark at him that he should measure the windows but he was sure the film would be enough.

Like a virgin trying to get laid by watching Netflix with his girlfriend, the film wasn’t enough.

Daddy made one good choice before starting, he had Mommy read the directions, to cover for his two biggest weaknesses: Reading and understanding. 

Daddy measured the window then the film and wonder upon wonder it was too small.

We have two large flags on the porch, one of a Griffon, and one of a Yorkie. The Griffon one was, of course, sturdier, and Daddy suggested using it along with the film to block the bright sun. 

Thanks to Mommy’s careful reading and instructions Daddy was able to remove the blinds without knocking anything over. He was slightly stumped about peeling the backing off the film but got it done without using any HBO words. He found a sprayer deep under the bathroom sink where the wild things were and sprayed down the film. He filled a pot with soapy water, washed the windows, and put the film on. We were even able to put hooks above the window and hang the Griffon flag. He did so well.

Then he thought of securing the glad to the window with tape, but he put the tape on the film and almost brought the entire contraption down. 

He never should have done something not in the directions.

But, he was able to remove the tape without any HBO words.

It was all done with very little drama.

If you ask me it was darn disappointing.