I was taking my Dad for his walk the other day. If I don’t get him out he stinks like sweat socks. I don’t mind but mom complains. I was having a sniff when suddenly, from behind a fire hydrant, came a chihuahua riding a segway with a siren on the handlebars. He motioned for me to pull over.
“May I see your license?” the chihuahua asked.
I, a law abiding dog, proudly showed him my tag.
“I am sorry, it's expired,” the chihuahua said.
How can this be? I looked up at my Dad and saw him fidgeting.
“I can explain, officer,” he said. “We got the license, it is all paid for, but I had a problem getting it on the little ring. I promise to do so when we get home.”
“It’s not that simple,” the officer said. “We live in a world of laws, and if you flaunt those laws, there is a price to pay. I fine you four treats.”
I know Daddy brings treats with him to reward me if I am overcome with the need to perform a bodily function (and it needs to be a specific bodily function, as my cousin Oscar found out when mid-walk he mounted a lollipop poodle and got the hose turned on him.)
Daddy was quick to grab the treats and was about to handle them to the chihuahua when I barked at him to stop.
This was very suspicious. I had never seen a dog patrol this park before. We had private dog security.
I asked to see his badge. “I don’t have to show, I’m with ICE.”
“Capades?” I asked.
“No, I have been ordered to make sure all dogs are licensed.”
I am a descendent of the great Judge Foley Monster and I felt compelled to fight this to the Supreme Court I said.
But then my dad gave him the treats.
When the chihuahua had rolled away I barked at my Dad and asked why he gave my treats away.
“Right now it is best not to mess with ICE,” he said “even if its a chihuahua on Segway.”
Seriously, Ruby? A Chihuahua Ice Agent (a/k/a CIA), you coulda taken it (or he/she or whatever) out with one paw swat, you are surely SWAT trained, powerful muscles, abs, et al. And those big eyes of yours oughta scare the punypants off any little agent on a scooter ... beware the rube!
ReplyDeleteYou should fight the fine to the Supreme Court, Ruby Rose. I got a good chuckle from Zoolatry's comment.
ReplyDeleteDang chichuahua obviously it did not realize it was YOU, Ruby Rose.
ReplyDeleteI hope you gave it a tongue lashing interfering with your walk
Hugs cecilia
Well, you could take the issue up with the Supreme Court, but today one never knows which rules they are following.
ReplyDeleteWoos - Misty and Timber
Look on the bright side, it's so hot that the ICE will melt!
ReplyDeleteThat was a scary encounter.
ReplyDeleteLulu: "Wait, what, we can assess fines for treats? How do we get some of these badges?"
ReplyDeleteJava Bean: "Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges! We just have to wag our tails a lot."