Foley, Pocket and their friend Brody discuss the best spot to get table scraps

 
Foley Monster:  On Saturday night we had our sister Kim and our brother Chad with their children, ages 11. 6 and 10 months to our house to eat.  When you have a large group of guests, especially when they are young, and food is served, it is guaranteed that food will fall to the floor.  Now, when you’re a single dog, you can just lazily scan the perimeter licking droppings.  But when there are more than one dog you need to stake your claim to an area under the table and protect it.  Pocket and I have different strategies to getting the most food.  

Pocket:  My plan is simple.  Find the youngest member of the party and park my booty under their chair.  The younger the better.  On this night it would be Calvin, our ten month old nephew.  Young children are like dogs.  They don’t want something on their plate, they just nose it off, or use their paws, whatever is most useful.  Nobody can make it rain like a baby.  Sometimes you can’t even keep it up.  Under the baby is the place to be.

Foley Monster:  I certainly agree that babies are careless with their food.  But I take a different tact.  I get under the child who is the most active.  Every family has that one child who can never stay in their seat.  When they move they knock food off their plate or carry good and drop it.  Plus anything in their lap lands on the ground.  And they are the most likely to leave food unattended.  They may be underrated by there is good eating there.

Pocket:  This is foolishness.  It has to be the baby.  I can’t advise our friends to sit under an active child only to find out they took their Ritalin.  There are no pills for babies.  They are like a slot machine that always pays off.  Got to be the baby.  


Foley Monster:  If you are a lazy pup I suppose you could sit under the baby but an active child helps us soothe our need to hunt and gather.   You can’t just sit there and hope food falls from the sky, you need to hunt it down and gather it up.  

Pocket:  I am going to defer to our good friend Brody for help.  He lives with a toddler and baby.  He is living the dream.

Brody:   BEFORE I was banished to the crate during mealtimes, I would park my butt right by the toddler's chair. He was always tossing things to me, dropping things, etc.... With the baby, all you get is spit up, which, yes, I like (I warned you)....But I would definitely say,  park by the child who is  A) Eating solid foods    B) A bit clumsy or uncoordinated   C) Or the kid who has learned it is fun to sneak the doggy food   ;)   It's also a great thing when they let me out and i can help "clean" up the table's edge, the crumbs in the kids booster seat, and under his chair.  I have also trained my kid to pass me snacks through the bars of my crate, and he has on occasion hidden snacks in his toys in the living room for me to find later, I am sure.


Foley Monster:  Well, those are helpful hints.  I would say that he sides with me when he suggests we sit under the child who is the most clumsy.  Uncoordinated goes alone with active.

Pocket:  Sides with you?  What are you hard of reading?  Brody says a toddler.  He agrees with me.  Park under the toddler.  Clear as day.

Foley Monster:  We need one of those kind hearted kids who think it’s fun to slip dogs food.

Pocket:  I know, where do we get one of those, Craig’s list?


Foley Monster:  How about old people?  Do you get food from them?

Pocket:  I find they tend to lose entire slabs of meat but it is hard to run of with entire pieces of meat.  Plus I have been kicked from leg tremors.

Foley Monster:  I think we should stick with adolescents.  

Pocket:  Unless Mommy and Daddy start drinking again.

Foley Monster:  I know, some pups have all the luck..

Where Foley Monster recounts her Easter

We had a full house on Easter. Our brother, and our sisters, with a whole boatload of grand baby girls. Our brother Chad and his wife Lisa arrived first. We like them because they smell like their dog Mya.(If you have a second, say a little prayer for Mya, she had surgery on her leg, and overnight she ripped out all her stitches and opened the wound. This was a week ago. I have been remiss in asking for a prayer request, but am doing so now.) They sat on the couch. Pocket, she jumped on the couch, ran over the back, down the arms, on the floor, and back up again. She wants attention, but wants it on the fly. I sat next to Lisa, and made my grunting noises insisting she give me a chest scratch.

Next to arrive was daughter number one and her girls Maddie and Meghan. They also smell like their pups Blake and Riley. They really smell like Riley. She's a boxer and she slobbers and sheds over everything. We are very neat dogs and we neither slobber or shed. But oh how we love to smell it, especially on little girls clothes and hair. Is that creepy?

Maddie got something to draw with, she's a good drawer, and, as you know, we love to be drawn, but Meghan brings the fun. She's a runner, and Pocket's a chaser, and together they're a nice Sunday early afternoon's entertainment. Meghan ran back and forth to watch Mommy making the ham. Then Mommy said the food was ready.

We still had some empty seats. Sister #2 was at her in laws where they were eating some weird Polish food. Since her husband, our plumber, is the only one who eats it, they would be bringing their appetites.

But the best thing? Used to be when we ate what Mommy and Daddy got, but Mommy thought one of us, I won't say who, was getting a little round, so we got a cup of kibble. But this day there was no cup of tired old kibble, Daddy just sat down. I was worried there would be no food. But then softly, quietly, little bits of ham came down towards us.

Oh the sweet joy of ham. Oh the succulent pig. It tasted so good. I would have enjoyed some mashed potatoes, but what can you do?

Then the door opened and family #2 came in and I was so excited I abandoned the ham. They don't own any dogs, but they still smelled nice. They got some food, and their three young 'nes aren't too careful with their food, so more ham, and even some mashed, and some green stuff we decided to leave alone because we've read the blogs and know they're bad.

When they got done eating Pocket put her paws up to go in Daddy's lap in the uncomfortable dining room chair. I climbed into Daddy's recliner. The baby one was watching one of the programs with bright lights and lots of movement. You know how little slope noses become engrossed in those things. Well don't tell anyone, but so do I. Then, somehow, the channel got changed to the On Demand station, and I didn't enjoy that very much. I saw 36 promos for The Blind Side, which I will not be ordering (although I would if it was about a rich woman who adopted a chocolate lab.)

The channel then got changed back to the one with the bright moving pictures. Meanwhile the slope noses sat drinking even though they weren't thirsty. I like watching them when they do this, they get so silly. Thankfully they didn't get so silly that they played spin the Pocket. That games always end with projectile Pocket puking.

Then everyone packed up to leave. Our little blond, curly haired Emily left behind chocolate bunnies, which we can't eat, a ring with an E on it, which was too small for our paws, and a little hula hoop. Now this we found useful. While Mommy and Daddy were cleaning Pocket and I both hula hooped. I am a little round in the hip area so I didn't much huluing, but Pocket was pretty good.

Finally Mommy and Daddy sat down in their recliners, and, after all that unthristy drinking, they were ready for a long nap, and we were very down with that. It had been a very busy, but fun day, and I'm hoping we have another one soon.