Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Foley, Pocket and their friend Brody discuss the best spot to get table scraps
Foley Monster: On Saturday night we had our sister Kim and our brother Chad with their children, ages 11. 6 and 10 months to our house to eat. When you have a large group of guests, especially when they are young, and food is served, it is guaranteed that food will fall to the floor. Now, when you’re a single dog, you can just lazily scan the perimeter licking droppings. But when there are more than one dog you need to stake your claim to an area under the table and protect it. Pocket and I have different strategies to getting the most food.
Pocket: My plan is simple. Find the youngest member of the party and park my booty under their chair. The younger the better. On this night it would be Calvin, our ten month old nephew. Young children are like dogs. They don’t want something on their plate, they just nose it off, or use their paws, whatever is most useful. Nobody can make it rain like a baby. Sometimes you can’t even keep it up. Under the baby is the place to be.
Foley Monster: I certainly agree that babies are careless with their food. But I take a different tact. I get under the child who is the most active. Every family has that one child who can never stay in their seat. When they move they knock food off their plate or carry good and drop it. Plus anything in their lap lands on the ground. And they are the most likely to leave food unattended. They may be underrated by there is good eating there.
Pocket: This is foolishness. It has to be the baby. I can’t advise our friends to sit under an active child only to find out they took their Ritalin. There are no pills for babies. They are like a slot machine that always pays off. Got to be the baby.
Foley Monster: If you are a lazy pup I suppose you could sit under the baby but an active child helps us soothe our need to hunt and gather. You can’t just sit there and hope food falls from the sky, you need to hunt it down and gather it up.
Pocket: I am going to defer to our good friend Brody for help. He lives with a toddler and baby. He is living the dream.
Brody: BEFORE I was banished to the crate during mealtimes, I would park my butt right by the toddler's chair. He was always tossing things to me, dropping things, etc.... With the baby, all you get is spit up, which, yes, I like (I warned you)....But I would definitely say, park by the child who is A) Eating solid foods B) A bit clumsy or uncoordinated C) Or the kid who has learned it is fun to sneak the doggy food ;) It's also a great thing when they let me out and i can help "clean" up the table's edge, the crumbs in the kids booster seat, and under his chair. I have also trained my kid to pass me snacks through the bars of my crate, and he has on occasion hidden snacks in his toys in the living room for me to find later, I am sure.
Foley Monster: Well, those are helpful hints. I would say that he sides with me when he suggests we sit under the child who is the most clumsy. Uncoordinated goes alone with active.
Pocket: Sides with you? What are you hard of reading? Brody says a toddler. He agrees with me. Park under the toddler. Clear as day.
Foley Monster: We need one of those kind hearted kids who think it’s fun to slip dogs food.
Pocket: I know, where do we get one of those, Craig’s list?
Foley Monster: How about old people? Do you get food from them?
Pocket: I find they tend to lose entire slabs of meat but it is hard to run of with entire pieces of meat. Plus I have been kicked from leg tremors.
Foley Monster: I think we should stick with adolescents.
Pocket: Unless Mommy and Daddy start drinking again.
Foley Monster: I know, some pups have all the luck..