I would like to give a big shout out to all my friends both here and on Mommy’s Facebook page that suggested that I may not be a persistent peeing puppy but might have a medical problem. Not that I’m crazy about having a medical problem but it’s better than being a potty school drop out.
I think we can safely rule out a bladder infection. If I had a bladder infection I would have to pee all the time. I only have to pee when I move. Like the Sundance Kid: He was a better shooter when he was moving and I am a faster pisser when I move. (I apologize to those who find the term pisser inappropriate but peeer is not a word and if I am unable go to the bathroom correctly at least I can use proper grammar.
Zoe Boe’s Mom and Hattie both suggested that my shut off valve isn’t working as a result of my being spade. I swear, they can put a monkey on the moon but you can’t do a simple spading without a steam cleaner on layaway.
Daddy was very excited about this news, given the fact that my peeing has become his cause for the winter. To think his salvation comes in a little pill, and those same pharmaceutical folks could help me with my bladder.
Now Daddy, he wants to take me to the vets right away, but Mommy says our check up is a few weeks away and doesn’t want to pay for an extra office visit. Mommy feels that if I had something wrong that I would pee in bed at night or in my crate. But Daddy says all that running around could be loosening things up down there. I don’t know how long it is going to take for me to get to the vet, that’s between Mommy, Daddy, and the egg timer.
But while I am waiting I am going to act on the advice of two very wise friends: Buttons’ Mom, on Facebook, and MacDougal, and do Kegel exercises. Now, I looked this up on the Internet, and, it seemed easy enough. Foley called a cab and we went to Wal-Mart and found the Kegel devices strategically located between the rutabagas and the snow tires.
We got home and while Foley dickered with the cab driver about how many kibbles to tip I ripped open the Kegel package. I found I had quite a problem with, um, insertion. So I waited for Foley to come back inside, had her hold it between her two paws, and I jumped off the couch right on to it.
I tell you, it was very refreshing. I think this is something all lollipops could use (in fact it even looks like a lollipop). So all of you go to Wal-Mart, look at one of those smiling old people, say “Kegel me,” go home, get it in, and lets get it on.
OK everyone, ready, one…two….three
Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
Let’s work the Kegel in and out of you
Oompa Loompa doompadah dee
This will help you when you have to pee
Happy exercising everyone