I hate to be the reason for prolonged non sitting but this is exactly the situation I found myself in Sunday. It was Christmas Card picture taking day. I hate Christmas Card picture taking day. Maybe someday we will find someone here in the Village of the Pruned willing to take picture of me sitting on my parents’ laps or squeezed between them in a love seat, but until that day it means that I am going to be sitting next to Foley and they are going to be begging me to do the right thing so the picture can be taken.
I just don’t know what the right thing is! And when I don’t know what to do, like many great Americans, I lie down and keep my legs together, because studies have shown that no one has ever got in trouble by lying down and keeping their legs together.
Except I did. Because each time I would lie down with my legs together Mommy and Daddy told me to sit up. Then they would point their phones at me and look through it at me. I don’t know why. Who looks through a phone? Who are these guys? Dick Tracey?
We started on our brown loveseat. I stayed up for a few pictures, but then they put me right next to Foley. She was staying still with her tongue poking out of her mouth posing perfectly which is only fair, this is her twelfth Christmas card. For her posing for a card is as natural as Lindsay Lohan posing for a mug shot photo.
Then we moved to Daddy’s chair and at this point all I wanted to do is lie down. During the picture taking Daddy kept hitting the video button by mistake and finally he decided to record my humiliation, so here is one minute of a long photo shoot with Mommy and Daddy trying to get me to stand.
Finally we were placed under the tree and they on the floor with us and I continued to lie down but then I got so tired of lying I stood and that is when they got their photo. Those pictures are being processed and should go out next week. Until then, if you don’t mind, I am lying down.