I would like to introduce you to Dr. Benjamin Hart. He is Distinguished Professor Emeritus at the School of Veterinary Medicine, University of California, Davis. He is a former winner of the Companion Animal Veterinarian of the Year Award. But what he really likes to do is watch dogs eat poop.
I wonder if Dr. Hart when he was young while explaining to his parent’s why he wanted to go to veterinary school, dismissed the idea of helping animals and admitted his expensive education was only about spying dogs consuming feces.
I am sure Dr. Hart is a fantastic vet who has saved countless dogs and done critical research with great benefit to all, but I have to wonder, as so many of my friends cross the Bridge for various reasons, if all his wisdom might be put to better use than figuring out why we eat poop
I know humans have tried various remedies to break us of what they term to be a disgusting habit, although the one that would work, making poop float, they ignore. We will eat anything that is lying around. Jumping up and catching it is hard work. (Actually, eating floating poop is living the dream.)
I did learn that poop eating has a name, coprophagia, which apparently hasn’t caught on since I have never heard anyone described as wearing a coprophagia grin. I don’t know why poop eating needed its own name unless the highly educated researchers could not say “poop eating” without giggling.
It seems, after endless study, the scientists have fallen back on the all familiar conclusion: our behavior goes back to the time we were wolves in a pack. The theory is that we consume the poop to clean our living area. Well no coprophagia Sherlock!
But there is a counter theory. Some scientists believe that we eat poop because we are hungry. WHHHHAAATTTTT? This is why I love researchers. They waste thousands of hours and millions of dollars to find an answer that every pet parents already knows since creation. The first dog owner, Grog, who lived in a cave in what is now Pittsburgh, saw his dog, Grog Jr, eating poop. His wife, I Belong to Grog, said “Gross. Why is he doing that?”
Grog said. “I don’t know. Maybe he hungry. At least I don’t have the clean that coprophagia up.”
Another great dog mystery has been solved. Researchers have moved on to why we fart when you rub our tummies.
Or as researchers call it Fartmummaphummery.