Thursday, August 16, 2018
Pocket and the DIY Blinds Project
Our friend Phenny from France loves to blog about his parents’ failed attempt to complete DIY projects. We have the same troubles at our house. Although our plans are straightforward, my parents still struggle to finish simple tasks, like hanging blinds.
I hate to see the torture devices, commonly called the hammer, screwdriver, both electric and manual, nuts, bolt and screws brought into the house. Those devices are not used to torture me. My Daddy uses them as a means of self-torture.
We live in a modular home. It was built somewhere else, put on a truck, and delivered to the site where we reside. Modular homes are quaint and inexpensive which my parents like, but the walls are made from paper mache and cardboard. Chances of hanging something on the wall heavier than a piece of paper are slight unless a stud is located. My mommy has never found a stud, just a daddy.
Daddy brought the tools and the blinds into the bedroom. I stayed in the kitchen, cringing at every sharp noise, and creeping in the work area between sounds to see how they were progressing before rapidly retreating. First, Daddy took the old blinds down, which was simple enough, then he said a prayer to Saint Bob Villa and tried to hang the blinds on the existing bracket.
To every person, there is one true soul mate, and for every blind, there is only one bracket. This meant that Daddy had to put up a new one. He tried several different spots on the sill, but the screws would not take hold. Finally, he found one, and another on the other side. He then slid the blind in the bracket. Mission accomplished.
Daddy went to the other window to hang up the second blind. Mommy used the strings hanging off the blinds in the first window to manipulate the slats downward. When they dropped down the blinds ripped from the bracket and fell to the floor. “What did you do?” Daddy asked.
“I was just adjusting the blinds,” she said. “It doesn’t do us any good if we can’t let them down.”
Daddy admitted she had a point. My parents had been working a half an hour, and they were no closer to getting the blinds up then when they started. This is the point in the proceedings where Daddy usually gets frustrated. He tried spot after spot. He realized he had to get the lip of the blinds over the bracket to hold it, but because he was putting the bracket under the sill, he couldn’t get the lip under the bracket. “There is no way, just no way,” he said like a pessimistic MacGyver.
Daddy says this every time he undertakes and is failing at, a DIY project. He needs to slip into a hopeless depression before he looks at the problem and finds a solution. Daddy put the bracket deeper in the window sill. He screwed it in with the electric screwdriver which is always improperly charged. He got the blinds over the lips, and they held. He quickly did the other blind, and we had success!
Then Mommy dropped the secure blinds down the glass, and it stopped six inches above the bottom. The blinds were measured improperly and were short.
The blinds are still in the windows and will be for months because while they may be short, the brackets are secure and when it comes to blinds all that matters is that the bracket fits.
I was just happy another DIY project was over.