When I was a mortal dog, I was never one for toys. Sometimes, especially in my younger days, I would play with a stuffy. I'd pick it up, shake it, emit a tiny growl, then jump on the chair exhausted. In my later years, even this wee bit of exertion was too much for me. I preferred to sit on my perch and watch my sister Pocket chase her silly ball.
There was one stuffy I was partial to. It was a pink and white rabbit that for some reason lost to the ages was called the ho-bunny. Even in my later years, I would give the ho-bunny a few seconds of play. Mostly, I liked to hide ho-bunny under me. I found his cheerful personality comforting. He was a good, napping companion.
When I went to the Bridge, I was allowed to take ho-bunny with me. I slept with it every night. It was a reminder of home. In the morning, I made the bed, arranged the pillows, and placed ho-bunny in a prominent place on the comforter.
One day last week I went to my room and saw that ho-bunny was no longer in his place. I checked under the bed, between the covers, on the shelves, in the drawers, ho-bunny was nowhere to be found.
I immediately suspected my maniacal brother Angel Jax. I searched the basement where he has his laboratory of dangerous things that have no purpose. (It is where American foreign policy was crafted.) There was nothing there. I questioned him, but he swore to Goofy he was innocent. I was puzzled. Jax suggested I check out the cat village. They would like nothing better than to get one over on judge Foley Monster.
Jax had constructed the perfect cat disguise. I could slip into their village and spy on them while seemingly looking like one of their own. Sometimes my crazed brother could be quite clever. I slipped on the suit, walked out of the cellar, remembering to move in that funky right leg then left leg style, and headed out to the cat village.
It was awesome. They did not recognize me. I tried to keep up with the cat conversation, how many mice they chased, what new fish are in the river, clay vs. corn, and why do dogs smell so bad. I did not show offense. Like Hobo Hudson surfing the internet, I was a dog on a mission.
I mentioned how funny it was that Judge Foley Monster had lost her bunny. The cats feigned ignorance. "Maybe we can look around or set up a reward if anyone finds him?" one of the cats asked. I was touched. Cats really are just like us.
One of them proclaimed, "When we give her the bunny back, maybe we can bite her tail." Cats! Drats! Just when you think you can trust them that planning an assault on your innocent backside.
Incensed I stood. "Well isn't this great? I came here in good faith to spy on you and eat your food, and you plan to bite my tail?" They stared at me, wondering why this cat has gone mad. I surprised them by stripping off my cat disguise and showing them I was Judge Foley Monster. And they surprised me by chasing me for miles through valleys and streams.
I stopped by the wooded area and turned around. The kitties were giving up the chase, and I saw why. Laying by a log, there was a fox napping and in between its paws was my ho-bunny.
You have to be careful, waking up a fox. It is better to let them lie. But I wanted to find out why he had my ho-bunny. I tried to make some incidental noise by walking roughly on the ground and crushing twigs under my paws. The fox wasn't very attentive. Finally, he woke up and looked at me. I told him I admired his bunny and asked where he got it.
He told me he bought it from a sly Papillon. The dog told him the bunny could run, and he could use it to practice. But all the bunny did was lie there. The fox didn't mind. It was an excellent, snuggle partner.
Tell me about it.
I asked him if he would rather have something he could chase and snuggle with too. The wise fox said he would have to see it first. I told him to follow me.
We reached my house Jax was sunning himself in the backyard. When he saw me, the fox, and the ho-bunny he ran. The fox dropped the bunny in and scurried after Jax.
I returned the ho-bunny to the safety of my bed. I looked out my window and saw the fox laying in the background with a big smile on his face. He had his arms wrapped around Jax and was snuggling him. Jax looked quite perturbed.
Serves him right for messing with a dog's ho-bunny.