The Ruby Rose Report: A Garden of Worry

I am very worried about my garden.

Every spring, we venture out to work on the yard, which attracts all our elderly neighbors, who comment on how beautiful the property is. The good thing about living in an incontinent and older park is that everyone reacts to the gardens like they are new because the people who lived in their houses died over the winter and were replaced or slipped further into senility.

April is one of the most important months when it comes to landscaping. While there is little in bloom and looks sparse, it is the time when Mommy and her dogs, now me, plan the year’s work.

But, Mommy’s back, and knees, are making it impossible for her to work outside, at least for now, and my dad, who is more laborer than thinker has begun the work in the gardens.

We have told Daddy what needs to be done, but he is tired, and is as sharp as the eraser end of a pencil,

Plus, he is gullible, which usually works for me, and leads to me getting three treats whenever he goes into the kitchen to get a cookie. But there are new players involved, ones I cannot trust.

Mrs. Haversham and Dora, the feral cats, have made e their presence known under the house. The other night, just before light was out, one of them jumped on the outdoor rocker, slamming it into the house, and causing everyone to lose sleep, because I ran around and barked at them to be quiet for an hour.

I can smell mother and child cat watching my dad work and whispering in a manner that causes simple people to think they are having original thoughts. I am sure they are influencing him, and our gardens.

I discovered that cat like odd plants like Irish Moss and Ice Plants. We already have Rose of Sharon and Phlox. How long have then been planning this garden takeover?

I know they would live lots of mulch to poop in, and bird baths they can drink from. If I hear Dad is buying catnip I may have to put my paw down.

First, the cats take over your yard, then your house.

They are an especially tricky species.

And I will remain forever vigilant: Inside and out.