Foley's Tail From Rainbow Bridge: How An Angel Handle Annoying Prayers

 

I am an angel judge so I am required to answer all prayers, even the most annoying ones.

The most annoying prayers come from my Dad. 

Monday night I got an alert that he was praying again. I sighed, looked at my IPaw, and read the prayers, then rolled my eyes, and did a brain meld with him to give my answer. 

“No.”

And yet the nerd persisted. 

“Come on Foley do this for me and

If I had a bone for every time he said that, I would have more bones than a python (they have 600 vertebrae, which equals to about 1800 bones in their body, you can look it up.

“For the last time,” I said, curtly: “Angels don’t who wins the NBA title.”

“Oh Foley,” he pled, “I am a simple man of poor circumstance who has little joy in his life, so throw me a bone here, just influence this one game.”

I opened his prayer file. “Let’s see: In 2013 you asked me to help the Red Sox win the World Series, and pledged to go to church every Sunday if they win. They did, you didn’t.”

“I have to work Sundays,” he answered.

“So do preachers but they still manage to make it to church on Sunday.” I consulted his file. “January 2015, if the Patriots the Super Bowl, I will never ask you for anything again. You made the same prayer in January 2017, and in 2019, all Patriots won, and yet then prayers haven’t stopped.” I paused. “Then October 2018, if the Red Sox win the World Series you would give a tithe to the Church, which I know you meant to do when they won until you knew what tithe meant.”

He agreed he had been bad, but promised to do volunteer work for the little sisters of the poor if the Celtics won.

And I agreed. 

Then did nothing.

If the Celtics can’t win with a 3-1 lead at home with Porzingas playing there is nothing divine intervention could do.

They won without my help, but my Dad did not know that, so I went into his happy dreams and reminded him of the little sister's promise.

“I will soon, I have to make some adjustments to my schedule.”

I knew he wouldn’t, and I would soon get another prayer from him that I would ignore.

Sports players are annoying. We angels never have anything to do with the outcomes of sports contests.

Except to make the Yankees lose

But that’s a matter of good and evil.

I am an angel judge so I am required to answer all prayers, even the most annoying ones.

The most annoying prayers come from my Dad. 

Monday night I got an alert that he was praying again. I sighed, looked at my IPaw, and read the prayers, then rolled my eyes, and did a brain meld with him to give my answer. 

“No.”

And yet the nerd persisted. 

“Come on Foley do this for me and I will never ask you again.

If I had a bone for every time he said that, I would have more bones than a python (they have 600 vertebrae, which equals to about 1800 bones in their body, you can look it up.

“For the last time,” I said, curtly: “Angels don’t who wins the NBA title.”

“Oh Foley,” he pled, “I am a simple man of poor circumstance who has little joy in his life, so throw me a bone here, just influence this one game.”

I opened his prayer file. “Let’s see: In 2013 you asked me to help the Red Sox win the World Series, and pledged to go to church every Sunday if they win. They did, you didn’t.”

“I have to work Sundays,” he answered.

“So do preachers but they still manage to make it to church on Sunday.” I consulted his file. “January 2015, if the Patriots the Super Bowl, I will never ask you for anything again. You made the same prayer in January 2017, and in 2019, all Patriots won, and yet then prayers haven’t stopped.” I paused. “Then October 2018, if the Red Sox win the World Series you would give a tithe to the Church, which I know you meant to do when they won until you knew what tithe meant.”

He agreed he had been bad, but promised to do volunteer work for the little sisters of the poor if the Celtics won.

And I agreed. 

Then did nothing.

If the Celtics can’t win with a 3-1 lead at home with Porzingas playing there is nothing divine intervention could do.

They won without my help, but my Dad did not know that, so I went into his happy dreams and reminded him of the little promise.

“I will soon, I have to make some adjustments to my schedule.”

I knew he wouldn’t, and I would soon get another prayer from him that I would ignore.

Sports players are annoying. We angels never have anything to do with the outcomes of sports contests.

Except to make the Yankees lose.

But that’s a matter of good and evil.