As the holiday season comes to a close Americans are asking if they just had their last Christmas.
The tradition of Santa coming down the chimney and leaving gifts for children if the President-Elect follows through with his Santa tariff.
“Jolly Old St Nick isn’t too jolly for our toy manufacturers,” Trump said when announcing the proposed tariffs. While he is bringing free toys to the children, the economy is suffering, and our beloved department stores are closing in a manner no one has ever seen.
“Santa is treating these stores very unfairly,” Trump continued. “And Santa, in some way, has been very nice to me, and in other ways, he’s been t so nice.”
Experts say Trump is angry that for five years as a child he received coal in his stocking, but the President-elect denies the charge. “I was happy with coal. In fact, I asked for more. I wanted him to rip the top off a few mountains, but despite being a very good boy with a big brain I only got a small amount of coal.”
During a news conference at the North Pole Santa did not dismiss the tariffs as being caused by a rift between the two fat white men.
“He had a very long list this year,” Santa said. “I fulfilled most of it. I gave him all encompassing power, and the ability to crush his enemies, but I couldn’t get Greenland to fit in a sack.”
The plan is to, on Christmas Days, send millions of tax assessors into communities to enter houses, gather the receipts for the Christmas gifts, and if they don’t have a receipt it will be determined that the gift came from Santa, and the receiver will have to pay 20 percent of the retail price of that item.
One frustrated parent with for small children said he didn’t think he would be able to give his kids another Christmas without the free gifts from Santa.
Trump said it will not be a problem. “The families won’t be paying, Santa will be. He can stuff in a stocking the tariff so the family is not harmed.” When he was told Santa did not carry cash Trump said: “Then bitcoin. Even better.”
With the next Christmas less than a year away the future of Christmas for good girls and boys is in question.
Wonder how much the fee per reindeer will be for congestion pricing in New York City?!?!
ReplyDeleteHeheheh!
DeleteThe idiots that voted for him should realize The DOGS know best - a 'human' that has no dog is a pathetic excuse for someone to put in charge -
ReplyDeletePERIOD
H&K&W
Willow
PeeEssWoo: Trust me - I stopped before she had me paw more
We can't believe that those damn tariffs were going to hit Santa's deliveries too!
ReplyDeleteToday we certify Scrooge, someone heard Santa say. Well, we already knew he was certifiable. Didn't they already tell us we couldn't have "Christmas" before, we had to have plain old "holidays" ... put away the good cheer, at least for four years.
ReplyDeleteWhew thank goodness we don't have to worry reindeer and Santa pass us by since there are no kiddos here.
ReplyDeleteHugs C
Chaplin: "I bet Dennis and Tucker and Trouble in a tank don't seem so bad now, do they, Santa?"
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