Ruby’s Sunday Funnies

A dumb man went ice fishing. He'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, he made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning his comfy stool, he started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

Startled, the dumb man moved further down the ice, swigged down a beer, and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

The dumb man, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, swigged down another beer, and tried again to cut his hole. The voice came once more: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

He stopped, looked skyward, and said, " Is that you, Lord?"

The voice replied, "No, I'm the Ice-Rink Manager!"

Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says, ,"EOOOOOHAHHHHHMMMM-MMUUUUUUUUUOOOAAAAAAUUUU..."

The second whale turns to the first and says, "Frank, what the hell is wrong with you?"

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."

"Really," answered the neighbor . "What kind is it?"

"Twelve thirty.