Pup of the week December 27

One of the greatest attributes a pup can have is loyalty.

Loyalty makes us do things without thinking: Like charging at larger dogs who threaten our Mom; or barking at huge humans in our doorway who may be entering our home without permission; or staying with our parents when they have broken their leg while reaching the mountain summit even though a blizzard is due (this has happened to me twice.)

But I have never seen loyalty like one of our members has shown this autumn. She had been a valued member of Princess’ castle. But when the politics there began to turn against common dogs like us, she was the first one to be chased out. She was very disrespected by some less trained dogs, her feelings were hurt, and we all lost a fantastic friend.

During our brief stay in our temporary home she joined us again, but a bad dog chased her away. It took a lot of persistent pleading to get her to join the Tanner Brigade, but when she did we became complete as a group.

When she learned her good friend Miss Lucy had taken ill our Pup of the Week marched right back into the castle, telling those who attempted to gain her friendship “Talk to the paw.” She was there for one reason, to nurse her friends during her last days. Although she had to endure slings in arrows each time she entered the castle, nothing kept her from her appointed mission of care giving.

So for that, and for so many other reasons, Hattie Mae is our Pup of the Week.

For her fashion sense that always brings a smile, for her wit and wisdom, for her sparkling comments that make our day, for her honesty, for her integrity, for her beauty, for her daring world travel, for her take no prisoners attitude, and for being the best pup a friend could ask for Hattie Mae is a very deserving Pup of the Week.

So hop in the spotlight and take a bow girl friend. You’re the best.

Our Christmas: Zoe Boe's made the day, and a trip to the Bridge made our night

As some of our Facebook friends are aware two of the gifts that my Mommy gave, to daughter #1, and to Daddy’s Mommy, were pictures drawn by Zoe Boe’s immensely talented Mom with the aid of the able bodied Zoe, and her expertise in coloring and shading.

She had to do them quickly. My parents sent the pictures she did the drawings from to the wrong e-mail address, so if you received pictures of a Shih Tzu and an elderly couple standing on a hill in Wolfeboro New Hampshire please delete. She got them, did a marvelous job getting them ready in time, and put them in the US Mail paying an extra rate so they would get here post haste.

Every day we checked the mailbox, and while there were wonderful things there, cards from the beautiful Lambies, from Tanner’s Mom, from Roland’s Mom, there still wasn’t the anticipated artwork. Mommy and Zoe Boe’s Mom exchanged e-mails and finally she sent Zoe out to track it.

As we all know Zoe is a brilliant tracker, and on Christmas Eve she sent us an e-mail saying she tracked it down. A half hour before Mommy and Daddy were going over daughter number two’s house for mead and grog Zoe contacted me, I told Daddy, and he went outside (without his knickers on) to give one final check of the mail.

The envelope was there. Oh be joyful! The envelope was stained, wet, and tattered.

Now as a pup, may I take a moment, to again, justify our hatred of those blue uniformed bozos that deliver our mail. We chase, we bite, we snarl, we fight, because if they aren’t bringing bad news, they’re delivering good news poorly. So the next time your pup attacks your personal plump Newman do not admonish, reward with a treat and an ear scratch for we truly have your best interests at heart.

When Daddy saw the wet envelope his heart dropped down his knees, which is when he realized he didn’t have knickers, and ran in the house. He ripped the envelope open.

But he shouldn’t have worried. Zoe Boe’s Mom is very clever. She had the package bubble wrapped, and the two drawings were facing one another, so despite the best efforts of Newman Incorporated there drawings were perfect for framing and presenting.

Mommy did a quick wrap job and they gave us kisses and put me on my blanket and Pocket in her crate, and out the door they went for a Christmas Eve family get together.

And what of us you ask? Well I hopped on the bed and watched them pull out of sight, then jumped back down and pulled the laptop from under the bed. I entered the codes, opened Pocket’s crate, then we jumped on the keyboard and hit the download sequence.

We were uploaded to Rainbow Bridge.

Oh, it was the most beautiful sight. Hundreds of trees all outfitted with lights. Wafting from the cooking fires was the scent of turkey, chicken and ham. Tanner was dressed like Santa, his eyes merry and bright, when he laughed his belly shook like a bowl full of jam. Sophie was next to him, a right proper Mrs. Claus overseeing the basting of the roast beef. Teddie Earnest had arranged for a lovely fireworks show, and Pocket and I snuggled on a blanket in the snow to watch the beautiful colors over the reef. Dulce and Sami brought us our drinks in golden bowls, sausage flavored water for Pocket and a Foleytini for me. Fred chased all the young pups, keeping them squealing with glee.

Who was there from the Brigade?

Well we made a pact not to say, you see, so many Mommies worry when their pups are downloaded to infinity. Suffice it to say, if you left them alone on that Eve, it was Rainbow Bridge they went when you did leave.

After our feast Tanner and Sophie lined up the young pups for their gifts.

They handed out Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums! Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums! Then it was time to eat the great feast. You know it was Moses who carved the roast beast.

After downing our precious holiday meal, we all joined paws under the tree with great zeal. Then we sang Christmas songs loud and clear, so happy that all our dear friends were near.

Then we saw our Mommies and Daddies were heading home, and to the computer we did roam. A few keystrokes, a gentle flick of the mouse, and we were all safely in place when our parents entered the house.

Our parents were none the wiser that we had gone to a party. They told us how Daughter #1’s eyes filled with tears when she saw a picture of her Bailey. We then all snuggled in our bed. Mommy and Daddy thought we would be lively from our time alone but we were fast asleep when the pillow met out head.

On Christmas morning Daddy’s parents arrived, for pancakes, and muffins, and Christmas breakfast pie. Their eyes filled with Christmas Day tears too when they saw their wonderful pictures, drawn with brown, green and blue.

So that’s how Zoe Boe’s Mom made our Christmas Eve and Day, and before we knew it Mommy and Daddy went away. So a huge Christmas feast we had, with all our friends, whose Mommy’s left them, thinking they would be sad. We almost had the mess cleaned when Mommy arrived home, but we were ratted out by one of the Christmas gnomes. But Mommy just hugged us and told us she knew our hearts, and then we shared her lap and a long nap we did start.

So thank you Zoe, to your Mom, to our friends, and to Rainbow Bridge, our buds to the end.

Our Christmas was perfect, we couldn’t have been more happy, I raise a bowl to all the dogs we met, and settle in for another nappy.

The Tanner Brigade 12 Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a Pocket peeing on the floor

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me two vicious poms named Chase and Gucci
And a Pocket peeing on the floor

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me three basset hounds named Olivia, Dot and Roxanne
Two vicious poms named Chase and Gucci
And a Pocket peeing on the floor

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me four Red Raider jerseys for Chelsea and Ashton
Three basset hounds named Olivia, Dot and Roxanne
Two vicious poms named Chase and Gucci
And a Pocket peeing on the floor

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me five Hattie Maes
Four Red Raider jerseys for Chelsea and Ashton
Three basset hounds named Olivia, Dot and Roxanne
Two vicious poms named Chase and Gucci
And a Pocket peeing on the floor

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love game to me six Hobo Hudson blogs
Five Hattie Maes
Four Red Raider jerseys for Chelsea and Ashton
Three basset hounds named Olivia, Dot and Roxanne
Two vicious poms named Chase and Gucci
And a Pocket peeing on the floor

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love game to me seven copies of Button’s Mom’s book The Healing Art of Pet Parenthood
Six Hobo Hudson blogs
Five Hattie Maes
Four Red Raider jerseys for Chelsea and Ashton
Three basset hounds named Olivia, Dot and Roxanne
Two vicious poms named Chase and Gucci
And a Pocket peeing on the floor

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love game to me eight dirty members of the Pack needing a bath
Seven copies of Button’s Mom’s book The Healing Art of Pet Parenthood
Six Hobo Hudson blogs
Five Hattie Maes
Four Red Raider jerseys for Chelsea and Ashton
Three basset hounds named Olivia, Dot and Roxanne
Two vicious poms named Chase and Gucci
And a Pocket peeing on the floor

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me nine free books PAWS by Sarah Jane’s Mom
Eight dirty members of the Pack needing a bath
Seven copies of Button’s Mom’s book The Healing Art of Pet Parenthood
Six Hobo Hudson blogs
Five Hattie Maes
Four Red Raider jerseys for Chelsea and Ashton
Three basset hounds named Olivia, Dot and Roxanne
Two vicious poms named Chase and Gucci
And a Pocket peeing on the floor

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me ten Zoe Boe humpday funnies
Nine free books PAWS by Sarah Jane’s Mom
Eight dirty members of the Pack needing a bath
Seven copies of Button’s Mom’s book The Healing Art of Pet Parenthood
Six Hobo Hudson blogs
Five Hattie Maes
Four Red Raider jerseys for Chelsea and Ashton
Three basset hounds named Olivia, Dot and Roxanne
Two vicious poms named Chase and Gucci
And a Pocket peeing on the floor

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me eleven Bauser Bandandas
Ten Zoe Boe humpday funnies
Nine free books PAWS by Sarah Jane’s Mom
Eight dirty members of the Pack needing a bath
Seven copies of Button’s Mom’s book The Healing Art of Pet Parenthood
Six Hobo Hudson blogs
Five Hattie Maes
Four Red Raider jerseys for Chelsea and Ashton
Three basset hounds named Olivia, Dot and Roxanne
Two vicious poms named Chase and Gucci
And a Pocket peeing on the floor

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love game to me twelve Tanner Bub kisses from the Bridge
Eleven Bauser Bandandas
Ten Zoe Boe humpday funnies
Nine free books PAWS by Sarah Jane’s Mom
Eight dirty members of the Pack needing a bath
Seven copies of Button’s Mom’s book The Healing Art of Pet Parenthood
Six Hobo Hudson blogs
Five Hattie Maes
Four Red Raider jerseys for Chelsea and Ashton
Three basset hounds named Olivia, Dot and Roxanne
Two vicious poms named Chase and Gucci
And a Pocket peeing on the floor

The official Foley Monster and Pocket Christmas Picutre

It is time for the unveiling of the Foley Monster and Pocket official Christmas picture. OK everyone settle down. I know, it’s like the lighting of the Rockerfeller Center Christmas Tree or the erecting of the National Festivus Pole, but let me give you a little background first.

At this point of our posing we had been photographed about 600 times. You cannot tell, because it did not appear in the picture, but there were tiny puffs of steam coming out my ears. I was tired and wanted a lap. When I am in the thralls of lap withdrawal I am six pounds of ferocious hell, my friends.

As for Pocket, never has a dog looked so resigned, so forlorn. She had tried it all, looking left, looking right, pouting, bringing sexy back; nothing pleased our camera obsessed parents. She laid her head on the blanket. The expression on her face was simple defeat.

The antlers had been strapped to her head for more than an hour. They could have attached a ball gag and the humiliation needle wouldn’t have quivered. Even I felt sorry for the poor girl. At the point of the picture’s creation she wouldn’t have aarfed a bark if they hung her by her back legs and shaved her like a hog in the butcher house.

We were lying down in front of the little village under the tree. I don’t know who would build a village under a tree. They must spend all year cleaning giant pinecones. Plus Pocket defiles the river nightly.

Daddy had the camera now. He was lying on the floor, slowly creeping towards us. Somehow the camera and I became on the same wavelength. I knew when it was frozen, not ready to take the picture, and Pocket and I posed perfectly; then, it would signal to me when it was ready. We’d turn away just as the shutter clicked. Daddy would look at the picture, and then the parade of bad words would begin.

But even that had lost it’s fun for us. Now we just wanted them to take the danm picture so we could get on with our lives. But picture after picture he couldn’t get the shot right (which was pathetic, considering the perfect subjects he had.) Finally, as Pocket settled into her manic depression and I grumbled the mumbles of dread, the flash flushed, and Daddy caught a pretty darn good pictures of us sisters from Yorkshire.

Mommy looked at it, smiled, and said “we can do better.”

So we sat for about another 100 pictures over the course of the weekend. But we need did to that one.

Which is this one:




So Merry Christmas to all our Tanner Brigade, Facebook, Twitter and Blogger friends. You make every day better and we treasure you all.

Morgan is the Pup of the week December 20, 2009

'Twas the five days before Christmas, when all through the brigade
Pocket and Foley were picking a puppy to parade
They needed a pup of the week so pretty and fair,
Whose wonderfulness to all was very rare;
The other pups were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Snasauges danced in their heads;
And Pocket in her neckkerchief, and I in my bandana,
Were munching on Mommy’s antipasto platter,
Our arguments over pup of the week usually raise a clatter,
This week we agreed so nothing was the matter.
We agreed on who to pick in a flash,
Then went through the cupboards looking for suckatash.
We saw the moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
And hoped before we had to wee it would find somewhere to go
Unlike the sky our pick for pup of the week was clear,
It is a Miracle Maltese we all hold dear,
What a little old pup, so lively and quick,
Our pup is holding strong even though he’s been sick.
His name is Morgan, he’s our Miracle Maltese
He’s the first to say thank you, excuse me and please;
He’s handsome, he’s brave, he’s smart, he’s strong
He’s loyal, he’s faithful, he’s heartfelt, he’s warm
From the south of Florida to the Vancouver coast
He’s the Miracle Maltese who has the most
His wild stories make our hearts fly
His friendship makes us as high as the sky
Over the Internet all his love and friendship flew
All you had to do was ask and he’d be your friend too
He was a big aid to this friend Tim Tebow
When he was sick for the championship the Gators hit a new low
We don’t know what will happen when he goes pro
Without a Miracle Maltese he won’t know where to throw
He wears all white from his head to his foot
It’s beautiful and curly with not a speck of soot
He carries all his friends troubles on his back
Which is why he’s the leader of this pack
He’s such a beautiful pup, his eyes so merry
His hair always perfect, his nose like a cherry
His bright red tongue curls out like a bow
We’d be afraid we’d lose him if he got out in the snow
He never bite you despite his sharp teeth
Like most Maltese he has one stick out underneath
He has a cute face and a little round belly
And it shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly
He is sprightly and bright, a right shiny elf
And we all laugh when we see him in spite of ourselves
A wag of his tail, a turn of his head
Smiles on our face he knows how to spread
He speaks not a word but he’s ready to work
Helping us all when we’re acting like jerks
Giving thanks for every small trinket he gets
He is truly one of the world’s best pets
He trained so well he comes when Mom whistles
His feelings can’t be hurt he never bristles
So Pocket and I would like to say to our friend so at his peak
Merry Christmas to all; Morgan’s our Pup of the Week

How we survived the blizzard

This morning when the alarm went off Daddy got up and looked out the window and let out a big groan. Mr. Winter had left a bunch of deep and cold snow outside. While Pocket and I burrowed further down the covers, and Mommy rolled over and pulled them tighter, Daddy put on his clothes, his coat, his gloves, his hat, his booties, (big Kitty, Pocket and I go out in our everyday wear) and then went outside to dig us out a spot to pee and Vick.

We woke up an hour later and silly Daddy had not come back in the house yet. This was so aggravating. We sent Pocket down to see what the delay was. She ran downstairs, looked out the window, then went back to the bed to tell us he was laying in the snow making snow angels. Mommy was so mad. Just like Daddy to be playing when there was work to do.

Mommy put on a robe and a jacket and we all went down stairs in a grumpy huff. I jumped on the back of the couch and said "I don't know if Daddy is making snow angels because he's not moving his arms or legs." Mommy looked out and shook her head and said that not only was he a below adequate shoveler but he was a lousy snow angel maker.

When we went outside Mommy yelled at him, but he's such a clown, he lay there, still not making his angels properly. Mommy told him to get up, but he's such a clown he didn't move, so we went inside for some hot chocolate with cinnamon and I wrote this poem for all of you who survived the blizzard.

I hope you're inside all safe and warm
I hope you're not wet, that you've been dried
We are going to send Pocket out into the storm
To nuzzle Daddy to see if he's died

Update: Daddy is fine. He passed out in the snow. A burly snow plow driver saw him and performed CPR. Outside of a few beard hairs in his throat he's as good as new.

Foley Monster's Christmas List for Santa

Dear: Santa

Hi Santa, it’s me, Foley Monster. How have you been? I’m doing well. I have had an excellent year. We formed the Tanner Brigade, defeated the terrible Princess, and gave dogs the freedom to bark across the land. How about you? Still doing that good child, bad child, passing out the toys crap? Well I guess that’s cool. At least you have steady work. Hope you worked out the health care issue with the elves.

I hope you don’t have too much melting up at the North Pole. I know you like the Artic because no one can get there. If all the ice melts then it will become a tourist trap and you’ll never get anything done. If that happens and you need to move I suggest the Jersey Shore. Nobody wants to go there. Just don’t hire an elf named The Situation.

This year I am going to mix things up a little bit. Instead of a long list of what I want I am going to ask you for some things for my friends. So get your fountain pen and parchment, or blackberry, and get ready to record these requests.

For Baarney and Taabatha their own Bravo show Project Dogway where they can design the latest in dog wear.

For Chelsea and Ashton some Red Raider wins and a National Championship.

For Chase and Gucci lots of time: with their Mom, for her with them and; for us to exchange e-mail gossip with them.

For Matilda, not to get into any big trouble, I would wish her not to get into any little trouble either, but for Matilda there is no little trouble. And for Matilda’s Uncle: Testicular cancer and painful rectal itch.

For Dulce summer nights less than 100 degrees.

For Skye some easy breathing days.

For Mollie her Mom to keep getting healthier and stronger.

For Hobo Hudson more interesting guests on his talk show so he doesn’t fall asleep and for lots of hits for his Mom’s blog.

For Buttons at the Bridge lots and lots of more followers for her Mom because she helps out so many dog owners and everyone who loves a pup should follow her.

For Kolchak less work for their Mom so Kolchak and Felix can spend more time with us.

For the Pack some better treatment from her neighbors and for them to be able to stay together wherever they go.

For Erin the title of Queen of the Internet and for all us to get a whole lot smarter so we don’t keep bothering her.

For Paco a book called “Foley and Pocket: The book of American Pop References,” so Paco can understand our blogs.

For Ike: Plenty of time playing catch, plenty of time getting treats, and plenty of time in bed.

For Luca and Junior plenty of warm weather and time by the pool this summer, and plenty of inspiration for new contests.

For Shiloh may his moon never go retrograde.

For Sydney, Sonic and Buddy to have Jordan home with them next Christmas safe and sound.

For Willow Greyhound happy and safe days and to run free and strong.

For the Malatesta Gang a year without any work because all dogs have found their forever homes.

For Bentley not too much snow or cold so he can spend some time outside.

For Shadow her Mom to get healthier so she can start taking care of him instead of him taking care of her.

For Otis a USA World Cup win and a Dayton Flyers NCAA berth.

For Zoe Boe to have lots of friends as talented and kind as her and her Mom.

For Tanner Bub, that more people join this site and learn the legend of Tanner Bub and to see his Mom in her dreams.

And the same wishes got out to Sophie Bub and her Mom too.

For 12, Chappy and Whiskey some fresh tomatoes and for the video cameras to break.

For Sarah that plenty of people get her book and are helped by it.

For Hattie Mae, that America’s Top Model allows dogs to be contestants so she can get her true title as top model.

To Savannah and Roland a GPS so they will stop getting lost and scaring us all to death.

For Morgan Five hundred twenty five hundred six hundred minutes and a season of love.

For Totti and Foxy lots of reindeer so your stint on Christmas Eve does not last that long.

For Nase the wisdom to follow everything that Sierra does so he will know how to be the perfect dog like her is.

For Gracie and Max, that you can learn all of Teddy’s tricks, and you can keep filling your Mom’s heart with so much love.

For Raider, a left fielder, a big hitting first baseman, and an Al Davis coronary.

For Pokey Lunn lots of long walks, lots of trips to the coasts, of a Senator with the wisdom of Pocket.

For Pintus and Rain to have joy as big as their mother’s heart.

For Macdougal to continue to heal his Mom’s broken heart and for us to be able to help.

For Brody to get lots of pull toys and fun.

For all good doggies in the world to get a Bauser bandanna to wear in proudly.

For Sandy lots of happy days chasing chipmunks and playing games.

For Smoochy a healthy year for her Mom and for that we give him half the laughs from jokes and stories that he gives us.

For Maxamillion and Tupper lots of laughs and stimulation for their brilliant and creative minds.

For Apollo a wonderful, loved filled, beautiful, happy Christmas.

For Daisy Mae a healthy year for her.

For Zoey lots of Yorkie love.

For Lady Bug a big plate of Christmas turkey

For Baron the ability to attack a bone with proper chewing prowess.

For the Valdosta pups enough lap time for everyone.

For Cali and Hurley more time to hang out at the ocean, more time to hang out with Mom, and more time to chat on line with us.

For Ruby Duncan lots of room to run and play.

For Simba to keep getting along with the kitty and lots of Princess things to lie on.

For Jack Jack more time to run and have adventures with Roscoe.

For Cocoa Puff and Ruger to know that they have the best Mom in the world. For Cocoa to keep teaching Ruger how to be a proper Bub and to have a year of happy days.

For Gordo to be able to get out of the snow and into the warm house and to enjoy the comforts of home.

For Chelsea and Junior lots of good times together and to stay close to their wonderful Mom.

For Jeni to stay warm this winter and to have a wonderful January birthday

For Tadertot lots more Popsicles.

To Ruby Rode no more medicated baths. They’re no fun.

For Einstein, Taz and Kameron, lots of agility courses to run and run and run.

For Koda and Josie the continue to teach Bella how to be a pet, along with your Mom, until she’s as well behaved as the two of you.

For Rigley, a quick winter so he can get back to the beaches and enjoying the outdoors.

For Graycee and Hondo lots of wide open places to run and play in.

For Trixie lots of her Mom’s wonderful food to fall on the ground and for Mom to have a happy and healthy year.

For Shiloh have a year without any surgeries and no nights away from home.

And for any of the dogs I haven’t mentioned a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Sorry I didn’t remember everyone, but my Yorkie Brain can only handle so much.

So if you can get on that Santa, thank you.

Oh, and maybe a new chewy bone for me, if you have time. And Pocket to go to the bathroom outdoors.

You do those two things, and everything else and I’ll be happy