Saturday, December 19, 2009

Foley Monster's Christmas List for Santa

Dear: Santa

Hi Santa, it’s me, Foley Monster. How have you been? I’m doing well. I have had an excellent year. We formed the Tanner Brigade, defeated the terrible Princess, and gave dogs the freedom to bark across the land. How about you? Still doing that good child, bad child, passing out the toys crap? Well I guess that’s cool. At least you have steady work. Hope you worked out the health care issue with the elves.

I hope you don’t have too much melting up at the North Pole. I know you like the Artic because no one can get there. If all the ice melts then it will become a tourist trap and you’ll never get anything done. If that happens and you need to move I suggest the Jersey Shore. Nobody wants to go there. Just don’t hire an elf named The Situation.

This year I am going to mix things up a little bit. Instead of a long list of what I want I am going to ask you for some things for my friends. So get your fountain pen and parchment, or blackberry, and get ready to record these requests.

For Baarney and Taabatha their own Bravo show Project Dogway where they can design the latest in dog wear.

For Chelsea and Ashton some Red Raider wins and a National Championship.

For Chase and Gucci lots of time: with their Mom, for her with them and; for us to exchange e-mail gossip with them.

For Matilda, not to get into any big trouble, I would wish her not to get into any little trouble either, but for Matilda there is no little trouble. And for Matilda’s Uncle: Testicular cancer and painful rectal itch.

For Dulce summer nights less than 100 degrees.

For Skye some easy breathing days.

For Mollie her Mom to keep getting healthier and stronger.

For Hobo Hudson more interesting guests on his talk show so he doesn’t fall asleep and for lots of hits for his Mom’s blog.

For Buttons at the Bridge lots and lots of more followers for her Mom because she helps out so many dog owners and everyone who loves a pup should follow her.

For Kolchak less work for their Mom so Kolchak and Felix can spend more time with us.

For the Pack some better treatment from her neighbors and for them to be able to stay together wherever they go.

For Erin the title of Queen of the Internet and for all us to get a whole lot smarter so we don’t keep bothering her.

For Paco a book called “Foley and Pocket: The book of American Pop References,” so Paco can understand our blogs.

For Ike: Plenty of time playing catch, plenty of time getting treats, and plenty of time in bed.

For Luca and Junior plenty of warm weather and time by the pool this summer, and plenty of inspiration for new contests.

For Shiloh may his moon never go retrograde.

For Sydney, Sonic and Buddy to have Jordan home with them next Christmas safe and sound.

For Willow Greyhound happy and safe days and to run free and strong.

For the Malatesta Gang a year without any work because all dogs have found their forever homes.

For Bentley not too much snow or cold so he can spend some time outside.

For Shadow her Mom to get healthier so she can start taking care of him instead of him taking care of her.

For Otis a USA World Cup win and a Dayton Flyers NCAA berth.

For Zoe Boe to have lots of friends as talented and kind as her and her Mom.

For Tanner Bub, that more people join this site and learn the legend of Tanner Bub and to see his Mom in her dreams.

And the same wishes got out to Sophie Bub and her Mom too.

For 12, Chappy and Whiskey some fresh tomatoes and for the video cameras to break.

For Sarah that plenty of people get her book and are helped by it.

For Hattie Mae, that America’s Top Model allows dogs to be contestants so she can get her true title as top model.

To Savannah and Roland a GPS so they will stop getting lost and scaring us all to death.

For Morgan Five hundred twenty five hundred six hundred minutes and a season of love.

For Totti and Foxy lots of reindeer so your stint on Christmas Eve does not last that long.

For Nase the wisdom to follow everything that Sierra does so he will know how to be the perfect dog like her is.

For Gracie and Max, that you can learn all of Teddy’s tricks, and you can keep filling your Mom’s heart with so much love.

For Raider, a left fielder, a big hitting first baseman, and an Al Davis coronary.

For Pokey Lunn lots of long walks, lots of trips to the coasts, of a Senator with the wisdom of Pocket.

For Pintus and Rain to have joy as big as their mother’s heart.

For Macdougal to continue to heal his Mom’s broken heart and for us to be able to help.

For Brody to get lots of pull toys and fun.

For all good doggies in the world to get a Bauser bandanna to wear in proudly.

For Sandy lots of happy days chasing chipmunks and playing games.

For Smoochy a healthy year for her Mom and for that we give him half the laughs from jokes and stories that he gives us.

For Maxamillion and Tupper lots of laughs and stimulation for their brilliant and creative minds.

For Apollo a wonderful, loved filled, beautiful, happy Christmas.

For Daisy Mae a healthy year for her.

For Zoey lots of Yorkie love.

For Lady Bug a big plate of Christmas turkey

For Baron the ability to attack a bone with proper chewing prowess.

For the Valdosta pups enough lap time for everyone.

For Cali and Hurley more time to hang out at the ocean, more time to hang out with Mom, and more time to chat on line with us.

For Ruby Duncan lots of room to run and play.

For Simba to keep getting along with the kitty and lots of Princess things to lie on.

For Jack Jack more time to run and have adventures with Roscoe.

For Cocoa Puff and Ruger to know that they have the best Mom in the world. For Cocoa to keep teaching Ruger how to be a proper Bub and to have a year of happy days.

For Gordo to be able to get out of the snow and into the warm house and to enjoy the comforts of home.

For Chelsea and Junior lots of good times together and to stay close to their wonderful Mom.

For Jeni to stay warm this winter and to have a wonderful January birthday

For Tadertot lots more Popsicles.

To Ruby Rode no more medicated baths. They’re no fun.

For Einstein, Taz and Kameron, lots of agility courses to run and run and run.

For Koda and Josie the continue to teach Bella how to be a pet, along with your Mom, until she’s as well behaved as the two of you.

For Rigley, a quick winter so he can get back to the beaches and enjoying the outdoors.

For Graycee and Hondo lots of wide open places to run and play in.

For Trixie lots of her Mom’s wonderful food to fall on the ground and for Mom to have a happy and healthy year.

For Shiloh have a year without any surgeries and no nights away from home.

And for any of the dogs I haven’t mentioned a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Sorry I didn’t remember everyone, but my Yorkie Brain can only handle so much.

So if you can get on that Santa, thank you.

Oh, and maybe a new chewy bone for me, if you have time. And Pocket to go to the bathroom outdoors.

You do those two things, and everything else and I’ll be happy

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