Friday, March 26, 2010

Pocket has had it with Government Poopcare

Just when I think I am out of politics they pull me back in. Let's be truthful pups. While we adore our Mommies and Daddies, and while we delude ourselves into believing that we control the house, the truth is that we are the citizens and Mommy and Daddy are the government.

We understand the need for government. But we do not want government in every aspect of our lives. There are parts of our lives that government should stay out of: our toys, the stuff we roll in during walks, and most importantly our pooh. But now comes a story from Santa Cruz California.

There is a young dog there, Chappy, who enjoyed an occasional taste of pooh ala carte. Then the government stepped in and began feeding it's citizens pineapple. The unsuspecting citizens, totally trusting their government, and, to be honest, if they will eat pooh, are up for chowing down on anything, eagerly ate the pineapple.

And then they found out that the government has infringed on our precious bodily fluids. His pack took their morning Vicks, and then he went to enjoy his constitutional right to enjoy a morning stool when the most malicious odor arose from the object of his desire.

Then he realized where that smell had come from. It was the smell of his new treats. Pineapple! And it wasn't the sweet smell of steamy pooh, it was bitter, and as much as the Vick drew him in the awful smell of the forbidden fruit drove him away.

The government had taken control of his stools, stolen the simple treat of shit snacking. I say this is enough! It is time that we stand together and take back our Vicks. The government neither owns our bodies or what we put into it, or slip out of it.

And Chappy, a true puppy patriot, the next day, found the courage, found the intestinal fortitude to stomach the smell and chomp down on his stool. This brave dog did not let the Government ram poop care down his throat, he ate crap even without the appetizing smell of pooh.

So I say to the Government enough! Back off our shit! You do not own our bodies! We will not stand for Government controlled poop care! Our ancestors died for the right to eat their own excrement and we are willing to do the same. So be warned Government. You will take my pooh when you wrench it form my cold dead paws!

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