Monday, June 21, 2010

Grampa and the big misunderstanding

You know how leaky Pocket gets when she is excited. Well sometimes we have to put a diaper on her so she doesn’t go Gulf of Mexico all over the couch. Our grandbaby Kiley is just over three, and she too has potty issues. Kiley was over today and Daddy asked her: “What is five years old, has six legs, four eyes and wears two diapers? Kiley riding Pocket:” Kiley laughed so hard. It was funny because it was true.

We've had Grandpa over a lot lately, of course. I'm now going to tell you one of my favorite Grandpa stories. There weren't any dogs there, but Mommy and Daddy love telling it, so I will repeat it.

Nana had a big family. Lots of nieces. Now, let's see how to put this in dog terms. Mommy's family was Yellow Labs. But this one niece, she decided to marry a Chocolate Lab. And Mommy's family did not like Chocolate Labs at all, never mind one of them marrying into the family. I guess they don't like patches.

So one of Nana's other nieces was getting married and it was the first time that the Chocolate Lab was going to be at a family function with all the Yellow Labs. Well, the Yellow Labs did not make the Chocolate Lab feel like he was wanted in the pack.

Now Grandpa, he doesn't care what kind of Lab you are. He grew up in Massachusetts, knew the Kennedys, wrote for a newspaper, supported civil righst. He liked all labs, if they were chocolate or yellow and he wanted to reach out and make the solo Chocolate Lab feel comfortable. All he needed was some time alone with him.

He noticed that everyone at the Chocolate Lab's table had taken to the dance floor, so Grampa went up to him and said: "Why Derek I thought you would be dancing?"

He looked up at Grandpa, and, tired of being outcast or condescended to all day, decided to lash out. "Why do you think I should be dancing Mr. Gay?" he asked. "Because I'm black and all us black folks love to dance?"

"No, no, I didn't mean...." my Grampa began to say.

The Chocolate Lab then stood. "Whatcha want me to do Mr Gay? Would you like to see my do the watsubi?" he said swinging his hips and running his fingers over his eyes. "Or the twist!" he yelled shaking his waist. "How about the mashed potato? Would you like to see that?" he said thrusting his hips. "Let me tell you something Mr. Gay. I'm a doctor. I graduated from Penn Medical. I separated conjoined twins but to you I'm just so monkey boy dancing aren't I?"

"No, no!" Grampa said pleading with him to stop.

:"Would you like to be the organ grinder so I'll dance for you?" he asked. Grampa was speechless shaking his head as the Chocolate Lab grabbed his coat and stormed out of the room.

Then Grampa, embarrassed and ashamed looked over to our Mommy and Daddy for support to find them shaking in their chairs, laughing so hard that their eyes were watering.

There is nothing like family for support.

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