Saturday, June 12, 2010

Pocket's secret exposed

One of my strengths is that no one in my house believes I am very smart. To perputrate this belief I tend to do stupid things: I lose my ball while chasing it; I push it under furniture and bark until someone gets it; I hide my toys under the couch; I lock myself in the back room and sit silently until someone finds me; I fall behind the couch.

But all of this fits into my master plan. You see when everyone believes that you're challenged no one suspects you when things begin to be out of place or the house is not in the order Mommy likes.

In our kitchen, under our sink, is where the kibble is kept. We are eating food Mommy makes and she only mixes in a bit of kibble so there is always plenty there. When Mommy and Daddy have supper Daddy always opens the cabinet door and gets us a cu[ of kibble to feed us as we beg for table scraps. During dinner Mommy looks into the kitchen and sees that the cabinet door is still open and tells Daddy he didn't shut it. Daddy proclaims his innocence but Mommy reminds him how forgetful he is and tells him to stand up and shut the door.

Now this part I had not figured out yet. What to do once I got the door open. I could spill all the kibble but Daddy wouldn't be blamed for that. I tried standing up and sticking my nose in the kibble without knocking it over but this was not working. I had spent plenty of time drawing on the walls of my crate trying to mathematically figure out this problem, like John Nash in a Beautiful Mind, but had yet to solve it. But each day I would open the door and wait for Daddy to get yelled at.

But the entire time it was me, little Pocket Rocket, tee-hee-hee. This worked until Thursday when I went into the kitchen smelled the kibble stepped around Mommy and nosed open the door. "Pocket what are you doing!" she said. Busted.

So I froze. I learned long again if you do something wrong, and freeze, no one can see you, but I must have trembled, because she knew I was there, and then she had to apologize to my Daddy, and I know there is noting that makes Mommy madder than having to apologize.

Now I have to figure out another way to get to the kibble. I was so close, my mathematical calculations just needed tweaking. Now I'm thinking about going through the garbage disposal. What could go wrong?

1 comment:

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