It has been almost three weeks that I have been crated for five hours or more because Mommy and Daddy were working. Since December 23 one of our parents has been home with us except for three or four hours at the longest. This has been a big boon to small businesses in the house, like ball chasing, squirrel harassing, and barking at passing cars out the window.
(An interlude, from Daddy's first dog Barney from the Bridge: "Why, when I was a pup we didn't sit in the house and watch cars go by, we chased them. We ran right next to them, smelling the rubber hitting the road, nipping at their bumpers with our teeth. Sure, we often got swerved into, knocked over, or killed, but we were glad, glad to be killed, because that's the way it was back then. You young pups and your barking at cars from the window, you're just a bunch of wussy lap dogs that's all".)
You may remember that Mommy got sick earlier this month. If not I can replay the video. What? No? OK. Well she's back at work but Daddy is home with us. Daddy has worked a very long time in a very bad place and it has had some effects on his health and he at least needs a break, or possibly a new job. But Daddy is going to be out of work until at least March and Mommy may be retiring as early as April so there's a possibility that our days of being abandoned while both our parents are out earning the kibble are over (as long as it doesn't effect the kind of kibble we get.)
That of course means more time roaming where ever we want in the house and not being confined. I am working very hard on getting Daddy on a schedule while Mommy is out. He is working very hard on finally potty training me. I believe I am doing an excellent job in training him. As for his training me, well he still needs to work on some things.
Our early mornings are the same. But Daddy doesn't wear the shirt with the buttons and the ribbon around his neck. When Mommy goes to work Daddy goes for a walk at the loony bin. We are all worried when he leaves because Daddy is a loon and if they catch him in their big net they won't let him come back. He walks all over that place, in the woods where they bury they experimental babies and everything.
He gets home after an hour and I bark to him to let me out. This part of my training is failing. He doesn't come upstairs to get me right away. He does the laundry, and shampoos the floor, sometimes he put away groceries, this morning he straightened up the house and emptied the dish washer. I don't know why he can't do this while we're downstairs. There are still some kinks in the system.
He finally takes us, after waiting forever, out of our crate and outside for my third pee of the day. He then sets the alarm on his phone for 15 minutes and sets up the computer on the couch, sits on the floor, and throws the ball for me, until the alarm goes off, then he takes me out for pee number four. Fifteen more minutes and pee number five, and sometimes, if I have it in me, 15 more minutes then pee number six.
Then Daddy sits down after 45 minutes of ball throwing for some work on the computer and to wait for Mommy to come home. There is usually one more pee in there to make seven. When Mommy comes home I get taken out for pee number eight. Then three more fifteen minutes sessions of ball with pee break numbers nine, ten, and 11.
We snuggle down with Mommy before supper, maybe play a little more ball, have a couple of more pees, then three more after supper to bring my pee number up to 16 a day. So, I am doing a very good job of teaching Daddy to take me out to pee 16 hours a day.
On Friday we went to the vets where we were prodded, poked, and completely humiliated. May I ask you who squeezes your anal glands and then decides to check on your teeth. I mean I know I eat poo but I want to be the one who makes that decision. I shall not have poo thrust upon me.
They found the usual tarter on Foley's teeth and made an appointment for her to get her teeth clean. Then they said there was some tarter on my teeth. What? I'm perfect. Then he pointed to some discharge around my eyes that needed to be cleaned daily. How rude? So now I get my teeth brush and my eyes cleaned. Everyone said what a good pup I was taking my shots but truthfully I was just in shock from the eye and teeth news.
So now I get brushed, and I get the fur around my eyes combed and it pulls and it hurts. Mommy says the important thing is that we are healthy. Then again no one is brushing the hair under her eyes.
Starting today my parents are going to keep track of how many days I can go without an accident in the house and if I do go the circumstances. I think that this will become a very popular game on the Tanner Brigade with lots of kibble going back and forth. Wish me luck. I'm so happy I am doing the happy dance. Oops. OK, we'll start tomorrow.