Tuesday, March 8, 2011

We did not step on a crack or break Mommy's back

Since I have joined Mommy's pack she has, from the bottom up, had her little toe shaved because it got too big, probably from eating too much roast beef, then had it shaved again because the bone grew back ("bones don't usually grow back" the doctor said to Mommy with the alien DNA, so take Charlie Sheen and your inferior Adonis DNA) had both her knees replaced which only made them hurt more, had a hip injury that she needed a shot for, had irritable bowel syndrome (also known as owning Pocket syndrome), had the dreaded C word in her mammograms, threw up so much that she passed out in the middle of throwing up, had car pool tunnel syndrome, had a large, painful growth on her neck which she needed removed (OK it was before I joined the pack but I am reserving the right to use some artistic license here,) had her rotator cuff repaired (also before I was born but my sister Blake told me and it was no fun) and suffers from migraines on the brain (Daddy's Daddy told him that Daddy's 51 year old sister gets migraines when she gets her period, which possibly was too much information to share with a brother, and secondly pretty impressive that at 51 the Old Man River is still flowing towards the sea.)
But gosh we got quite a scare this week.  A lot of you on Facebook or who we've barked at this week know about it but some of you don''t, and even if you do know the story you have not heard it from the Foley perspective so you can get the truth from the no spin zone.  On Tuesday Mommy had an appointment with a pain management doctor to finally address her back pain.  We were very supportive of this.  Both Pocket and I love to snuggle against Mommy's back when she sleeps but sometimes that knobby, twisty thing is uncomfortable.  So she was doing it for the most important reason, to give us pups a nice place to snuggle.
She got all looped up on drugs before going so she would be nice and sedated.  She took them fifteen minutes before leaving.  Let me tell you.  If you have never snuggled with a loopy Mom you are missing out.  There whole body just goes floppy and everything becomes so comfortable.
But then it was time for Daddy to take her to the doctor.  He is from India.  Is it racist to say that he had to stop his examination to go make slurpies at the Kwicki-Mart and provide tech support for confused WIndows Vista users?  I thought it was.  I will make sure Pocket removes the offensive comment during the editing process.  The doctor looked at her x-rays and he saw something that he said wasn't of any concern but he needed to find out what it was (during their next meeting he said the x-ray worried him very much so I think he was trying not to get her excited but Mommy was too smart for him and knew it could be serious but too loopy to fully understand the trouble she could be in.)
So Mommy had to get blood drawn.  I hate getting blood drawn.  Mommy has less fur than me but it still hurts (unless you're all hopped up on pills like Mommy then there’s no pain.)  Then they took her into the MRI machine.  I have never been in one but I can tell I don't want to be.  Mommy laid down in the machine and fell asleep, but before she did she saw written on her paper STAT:  Rule out tumor or fracture.  Yikes!
When they got home Pocket and I were none the wiser.  We just ran down stairs and got into snuggle position with her and slept the afternoon away.  When we awoke Mommy and Daddy were kind of quiet, and were hugging without me in the middle, so I knew something was wrong, but in a decade of life I have learned to be quiet and not to make things worse.  Pocket, of course, ran around and barked.  I could share my secret with her but why should I?   Let her find out these things for herself.
The next morning, despite the opinion of every single person on Earth, Mommy went to work.  Daddy went for his walk of many miles, to his therapist (he's been seeing her for a long time but she hasn't got any better) and to the grocery store.  When he got home he did the laundry, emptied the dish water, shampooed the floors, then freed Pocket from her crate while I slowly stretched getting out of my blanket.  We went outside, took a little walk, did a little pee, came back inside and Pocket got ready for some ball playing.
Before the ball playing commenced Daddy checked the phone.  The message light was blinking.  Daddy checked the message.  It was from the doctor the day before.  Mommy had an appointment to see him Friday but he said if he found something bad on the MRI he would call before Friday.   It was before Friday.  The message was the Doctor needed to see her right away.
Daddy has been in therapy for months, been on all sorts of medications, has lots of relaxation techniques, but boy can he still panic.  He texted Mommy telling her that the doctor needed to see her.  Pocket barked because she wanted to play ball.  He then texted her again to have her text back if she got the text.  She didn't.  I opened my computer and tried to download myself there but couldn't get a connection.  Pocket picked up the ball and dropped it at Daddy's feet.  Daddy tried calling her cell phone but it went to voice mail so he left a message.  I went to the steps and barked at her to come home. Pocket nosed the ball to Daddy. Daddy texted her to text him if she got the phone call.  I sent her an e-mail.  Pocket threw the ball up in the air and barked.  Daddy sent her a text saying he was going to the school to get her.  I headed back upstairs to get in my blanket.  Pocket barked that she did not get her ball time and got stuffed inside her crate.
Pocket barked at him all the way down the stairs.  I went over to her crate and told her there might be something wrong with Mommy.  That stopped her barks of frustration and turned them to whines of worry.  I opened her crate door and climbed in with her and we crossed our paws and prayed.
Daddy came home first.  He smelled of relief.  We both were barking quite a bit.  While Daddy was relieved we had to smell Mommy to be sure.  He took us outside for a fast pee.  He then called his Daddy and told him that the MRI didn't show anything bad.  That's when Mommy got home.  Daddy got off the phone saying the dogs were going to start barking like crazy.  He was right.  As soon as Mommy came in we could tell she was relieved and her aura showed she wasn't ill.  We all hurried around the house of she transitioned from work Mom to our Mom, got in the chair, pulled up the blanket and snuggled down.
On Friday she went back for her first series of shots.  The Doctor had her on so many pills when she walked past us she rattled.  Then they left and Pocket and I waited nervously.  When Mommy came home she was moving a bit stiffly and got her over to her chair. The great thing about a rattling Mommy is she is soon a sleeping Mommy and man did we have great snuggle on Friday.
On Saturday Mommy said she felt a little better, and that was good enough for us.  We also found out that she is taking steroids so she is soon going to be picking up the couch and twirling it over her head.  That will be so cool.  We are going to have the strongest Mom around, albeit, a slow one who limps.  But we are thankful that she is feeling better and thankful to our wonderful friends who have sent us and our Mom strong words of encouragement and never let us lose faith.
If you're planning a move or need anything heavy lifted let our steroid pumped up Mom know and we'll have her sent tight over.


  1. Glad to hear the good news and I hope the shots work!

  2. That is very scary. Your mom has had far more than her share of problems, but we're glad to hear the good news and that she will be throwing the furniture around. Nothing makes humans feel better than doggie nurses.

  3. Talk about stress! I think you should be super snuggly to both momma and daddy!

  4. I sure hope those shots work and the fact that your Mommy will be able to bench press a couch is an bonus!

  5. My goodness, Foley Monster and Pocket! Your mom has gone through the ringer and back again and we had no idea at all! We were laughing and crying and smiling and worrying during your entire post! We wonder if you two have ever tried to become stand up comedians (as opposed to lying down comedians) because you have the greatest sense of humor I've known a dog to have! Glad your mom is on her way to feeling better!


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