Wednesday, July 6, 2011

What is up with the Facebook sweat socks?

I was surfing on the Humanbook last night, pretending to be Mom, and sending leading messages to eligible gentlemen when I saw this ad:

OK, what in the old blue dog are these things?

I guess if you have problems with skin allergies they are nice.  But if you had a human boy and the doctor told you the only way to stop the allergy was for him to wear a dress to school, would you take him shopping at the Limited?  Look, I live in a neighborhood where everyone walks hunched over and smells likes prunes.  They wear clothes they bought at Caldors and K-Mart which went out of business before blogged my first post (now that sounds dirty.)  But not a single one of them looks so danged foolish as these dogs. 

I am sure it's a wonderful product and has helped lots of dogs but personally I would rather take my chances with the rash.  I am not going to the Dog Park looking like I just came from Dancing With The Stars rehearsal.  I may only be a little Yorkie but if I saw a Pit Bull coming at me wearing these I would be fairly certain I could kick it's ass all the way back to the podiatrist. 

Look at this satisfied customer
This picture is called the last picture my Mommy took before I bit her hand off.

Couldn't they make these products in different colors besides bright white?  I could see maybe wearing these if they were tan and furry like my legs.  But I don't want to be strutting around at night wearing such bright white socks that the coyotes can spot me with their eyes shut.  And look at this poor pup.

What are they doing to her?   Water boarding?  Oh for the love of our Heavenly Dogs just admit you peed on the rug even if you didn't. 

Honestly, we put up with a lot from you humans:  the anal probe to get our "temperature"; the fixing of us when we are not broken; the costumes; but this, this, it looks like you were planning on dressing us, put on our socks and took us outside (now this we have seen in the land of the prune eaters.) 

So ask your humans to boycott the Humanbook until the ads of these doggy sweat socks are taken down.  I have not been this upset at an ad since that jumping dog on Doggyspace.

And Zuckerberg, if you even think about replacing the dog sweat socks with Nike ads Pocket and I are going to make the Winklevoss twins look like a poodle in sweat socks.


  1. Oh dear, don't show these to mom
    Benny & Lily

  2. What the BARK?! Those are awful! Just awful!I'm going to order a pair for Felix ;)

  3. This had mom laughing so hard she still can't stop! I think it was the waterboarding comment that did it! BOL! These socks are hilarious, but mom will look them up to see wha's up! Love, Blazer


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