It was an average Saturday night. I was surfing the Internet looking for images of dogs in submissive poses when I incorrectly pawed the search engine and found an article on how to care for your senior dog.
have never considered myself a senior. I am young, spry, have a
cutting edge sense of humor, I am down with the the snizzle, and can
more than handle my four year old sister. I am still in my prime.
according to this article not only was I no longer in my prime, I was
four years past. I read in disbelief that dogs become Seniors at age
seven. I am close to lapping Senior. What comes after Senior? Senor
Wences? If you understand the reference, you are a Senior.
this article says that I do agree with is that I need more attention
and care. I should get more lap time. I should get all the belly rubs.
Pocket is four. She should spend her days hunting and gathering. She
is in her prime. She should be giving me portions of her food. She
should hold my paw as I cross the street. She should be checking on my
during power outages and bad snow storms.
article said that “ideally” I should be seen by a veterinarian every
six months. Yes, and “Ideally” I would have fresh chicken every night.
The person who said this is, of course, is a veterinarian who would
cash in on these twice yearly pinching, prodding, and butt violating
humiliations. She is from up Smoochy’s way in Wisconson. Her name is Stephanie Sosniak. Now
that’s a made up name if I ever heard one. She is probably in the
veterinary vetness protection program. Probably misdiagnosed Gotti’s
Goldy with gout. If you take nothing else from this blog take this:
Seniors shouldn’t see Stephanie Sosniak.
second paragraph dealt with dental care. I am a very friendly dog who
goes for many walks here in our village of the pruned. Many of the
pruned people bend down to rub me and talk to me. Take my word for it:
We aren’t the ones with dental of breath problems.
I do get dental care frequently. After much debate, whining, crying,
and hiding we finally got Daddy out from behind the rocker to provide
dental care. Since neither Pocket or I will tolerate anything being
jammed into our tiny mouths (unlike the dreaded thermometer we have a
spray for our teeth. We still hide whenever we see the spray bottle.
Daddy pulls back our lips and blasts our teeth the rubs it in while we
are stunned from the spraying. Frankly I find this to be a major
violation and something that should be litigated. But darn I’m so
addicted to the minty fresh taste I’m ready to bathe with Whitney. (If
you think it’s too soon remember, I live in doggy time, and to me it’s
parents need to monitor me for changes in behavior. If I go from
grumpy to b*tchy they should take notice. They do watch for changes in
my appetite and thirst which is a pain because some days I’m just
thirsty. I appreciate them watching over me but they do when I pee,
poo, drink, eat. Sometimes a lollipop just needs her privacy.
stop worrying about my weight. I weigh seven pounds. People deliver
babies bigger than that. How something my size fits out of there, that I
then there is exercise. I don’t mind. But sometimes I just come to a
full stop and get pulled for awhile. I think it’s just me being ornery
then me not wanting to walk. But I am not chasing that stupid ball like
in summation here is what I took from the article. I must accept that I
am a senior dog and I need to make some changes. I definitely need
more attention. But only the good kind, the more treats, the more food,
the more laps, if I am in the mood the more exercise. And I just can’t
quit that minty tooth stuff. But as for the weight and water and more
vet appointments and watching me all the time back off. I’ll let you
know if there is a problem.
remember, it is not nice to talk about a ladies’ weight or age. I am
just a well seasoned and mature lollipop and those are the best.