My sister, Foley Monster, is a well known dog attorney. When she learned that McDonald’s was running an ad saying that eating their chicken McNuggets was safer than petting a pit bull she flew into action bombarding the McDonald’s corporate offices with all her briefs and giving the Ham Burglar a nip in the ankle that could possibly lead to a nasty staff infection.
though Foley is quite satisfied with herself, because McDonalds pulled
the offending ad, which she attributes to her own legal brilliance, I
think that, while my sister played a role in justice being done, there
were many organizations in the country that may have had more influence
on McDonalds than a six inch Yorkie who has been known to spend more
time at settlement conferences licking herself than listening to
opposing council. But now that the legal matter has been settled Foley
has decided that McDonalds has gotten off too easily after insulting our
pit,bull friends, and she still carries a grudge about the box of
McNuggets she ate that gave her the runs for two weeks, (no pit bull
ever made her run for two weeks) so she said it was time to bring out
the little gun: Pocket the Protester.
Pocket the Protester? Who the heck is that?
apparently, I am Pocket the Protester. Oh boy I don’t like to protest.
Unless it’s one of the protests where you can lie down in front of
something and snuggle. But Foley told me for this occasion lying and
snuggling just won’t do.
Foley wants me to do is to organize pit bull owners everywhere. I
don’t know how a little Yorkie is supposed organize a group of pit bulls
but I am going to try.
protest McDonalds attack on the reputation of our pit bull friends I am
calling on all pit bull owners, on Saturday, February 25, 2012, at
3:00 PM EST, noon time PST, and whatever time correlates in the middle
of the country, to take their pit bulls to McDonalds. All they have to
do is walk into McDonalds and stand by the door.
They can order food if
they want, if they have an iron tummy. If not they can just stand
there and show everyone how wonderful pit bull pups are. Then after
about ten minutes, or however long it takes the local Johnny Laws to get
to the fast food establishment, load the pup back in the car and head
some of you might ask, since McDonalds has pulled the ad, why should we
take action. Well, if I am going to be a protester I am going to go in
a hundred percent. protester.
I am going to wear my beret. I am going
to bark slogans. I am going to get one of the Anonymous makes and wear
it around town. I am going to form a drum circle. I’m a Yorkie on the
I say protest because McDonalds insulted not just pit bulls but dogs of
all kinds. Protest because if someone slaps your Mama and says they
are sorry do you just say “thank you for the apology,” and move on. No.
You take a stand.
for all the times that pit bulls have been mistreated in the media,
mistreated by advertisers, mistreated by the justice system, mistreated
by other dog owners, Pocket,the protester says it’s time to stand up.
And who better to stand up to then one of the biggest companies in the
world? So I say Occupy McDonalds, or, as the birds tweet
A wise dog once said all it takes for evil to prevail is for good dogs to do nothing.
as one of Daddy’s CD’s named Peter Gabriel said “you can put out a
candle, but you can’t put out a fire, once the flames begin to catch,
the winds will take it higher.”
So said Pocket the Protester. (And a little dog shall lead them.)