Ask Aunt Foley: My Daddy's Desk

Dear Aunt Foley:  I jumped up on Mommy’s desk chair doing what I often do, looking for something to eat, when I saw the entire desk was taken up with little dog statues and figurines and one picture of her and Daddy.  This is my question:  Why does she need a picture of her and Daddy when she sees him every day? - Brody

Dear Brody:  I have to tell you Brody this one had me stumped.  I investigated this thoroughly and think I have the answer.  It comes down to the often stated complaint from Daddies to Mommies:   “You care more about the dog than you do about me.”  While this is undoubtedly true Mommies sometimes have to throw Daddies the proverbial bone.  So, among all the tributes to dogs on her desks she has one little picture of her and Daddy to make him think his one teeny tiny little picture means more to Mommy than all the dog tributes.  Daddies, so silly and so easily satisfied.

Dear Aunt Foley:  My Mom and I play the most wonderful game.  She knows that I am an escape artist so each day she puts me in a locked box then goes out.  I have until she comes home to get out of the box.  This last time they put even stronger hooks that Daddy uses on his farm to keep me in my crate.  I have to admire their pluck but I was able to get my paws around the bolts and pry the kennel bars apart until they snapped.  Then I moved on to the second part of the game.  Daddy always has his face in one of those book things looking for clues on how to make his box stronger so I ripped the books apart.  Then I over celebrated by destroying my brother Koda’s favorite toy.  Mommy and Daddy don’t get mad but I need to know what to expect in their never ending quest to make my box more secure. -Emme

Dear Emme - I hope you realize how special your parents are.  You destroy your crate, rip up books, and you don’t get in trouble?  That is truly more amazing than your ability as an escape artist.  I think you have a really good thing going on but you have to keep your parents interested for the game to continue.  Don’t break out every day.  Only do it every three or four days.  Mommy and Daddy will think they are “getting there” and may not work too hard for your to get out.  Recognize how good you have it and give your parents a win here and there.

Dear Aunt Foley:  I live in a place called Mexico City and for some reason the entire house begins shaking and the ground outside does too.  When it happens Mommy takes us downstairs where we are supposed to be safe.  Once it calms down Mommy is very nervous waiting for what she calls the after shakes.  What is going on?  Why does the Earth shake?  And why do we have to worry about it shaking afterwards? - Rain

Dear Rain:  Don’t panic.  I have one a lot of research on this and the answer is zombies.  They are underground and they are trying to get above ground to eat brains.  But the Earth is keeping them underground.  Sometimes these things happen but know that the Earth does  great job of keeping the zombies underground, but if they do escape you need to run like the wind Bullseye.