I was flipping through some newspapers the other day when I saw that Britney Spears had spent $31,235.15 on her dogs last year. I was ready to proclaim that Britney Spears was the best dog Mom in the world. But before I proclaimed I asked the wisest beings I knew, the owls, to investigate how she spent this money.
What they reported back to me was shocking. I had imagined the pop diva savant going to animal shelters and spending the money she duped from tone deaf millenniums to better the lives of dogs in need everywhere. Unfortunately she lived down to my previously conceived impressions.
In January Ms Spears spent $5,568 on what TMZ referred to as a white Malteste. Well there you go. I know $5,568 is a lot of money for a Maltese but you got to spend extra if you want a white one. Such actions can force you to sell your NBA team but doesn’t stop you from posting selfies with your $5,568 dog balancing on your fake boobs.
And then she spent $8,212 on a Yorkie. I cost my parents $300.00. Of course that was 14 years ago. With inflation I would probably cost about $375.00 now. So that Yorkie is worth like Foleys? Oh I don’t think so. That dog isn’t even worth a couple of hundred Pockets.
Of course I shouldn’t blame the $8,000 Yorkie. She was probably a $3,000 Yorkies top. But when you are dumb, and you have money, you will pay just about anything for something you want. It’s what is known as being good for the economy. She also spent $1,585.00 on clothes for a dog but you can’t have a rare white Maltase and an $8,000 Yorkie wearing off the rack.
I hope that someone will be able to talk to Ms Spears and tell her how much the Dogs of Brazil could have done with that $31,000, or some of the other rescues across North America instead of going to a greedy breeder. And if she would allow me in her dreams about lollypop princesses and unicorns I could tell her that she could get a Yorkie, and yes, even a white maltese for free. All she has to do is look. Or pay someone to look at shelters, and then she could give all the money to needy dogs.
Sigh. I don’t think this is going to happen. I just read a woman named Paris Hilton spent $18,000 on a single dog. I tell you, I got 99 problems and bithces are two of them.