Sunday, April 2, 2023

The Ruby Rose Report: The Tag Silencer


 

When I arrived at my forever home, I wore a green collar and bought a fancy new purple one, which I appreciated, but then they began to weigh it down with tags. 


First, I was given a flower tag that belonged to River, then a rose tag from Aunt Kathy. I thought that was a sufficient number of titles, but I was told there were ones I was required to wear by Johnny Law. First, a rabies tag. It is terrible we have to wear one. Humans don’t have to wear something that says they don’t have lice.

Why do I have to prove I don’t have rabies? Innocent until I bite you in the butt and make you froth at the mouth. 


I am a wee dog, and the extra weight from my tags started wearing me down. I was shocked when they added more: There was one from Petsmart with my and my parents’ names and phone numbers in case I got lost, which, given my dislike of the outdoors, could only happen in the hallway between the kitchen and bathroom. 


The last two tags that were added said I had chipped, which I guess is essential, and finally, the sign that I am a subject of the man, a tag issued from City Hall. With so much bling around my neck, I was lucky to lift my head. 


When I ate, my tags would dip into my food, so before each meal, they were taken off, akin to someone removing their shirt each meal to keep it from getting dirty. It was clear my many tags were an issue, and my parents decided to get a tag silencer for me. I was all for it.


Instead of getting me a clunky metal silencer, they got me a nice purple cloth one. I watched anxiously when my Dad twisted and turned the clips to get all the tags into the silencer. He then attacked the collar around my neck. I saw my reflection: It looked like I had a big jewel around my neck, and there was no longer the annoying clanging of tags. 


The problem had been solved.


Then I ate the cloth silencer.


I don’t know why. If you put something pretty and digestible before a dog, and we get hungry or bored, we eat it.


The silencer lasted for three hours.


I have been told I won’t be getting another.


Oh well, it was good while it lasted.


And tasted great.

10 comments:

  1. Of course you know we had to laugh loudly when we read that last bit about you eating that silencer...BOL!!!
    We each only have three tags dangling and clanging or jingling when we move about. A good while back we even had bells on them...shheesh...*she* wanted to hear us when we were in the far back woodsy area...sometimes its hard to see us in there. But one of us got a claw caught in them so off they came!

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  2. Momma says my predecessor used to chew her tags so much they were unreadable metal contortions, so now we have ones that slide on da collar.

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  3. Wow, so many tags, that is a heavy load for a wee dog. I just have the one with my address and Gail's mobile number, nothing else required here. Gail says I will get a rabies jab if I ever travel to see friends Germany or Switzerland (as my predecessor Bertie did) but post-Brexit it's more complicated and expensive for a dog to go to an EU country so that might not happen. Grrrrrr.
    Good to hear that the tag silencer was yummy.
    Toodle-oo!
    Nobby.

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  4. you ate a silencer? and do you bark now silent? the mama would like to know that, so we will get one too for lunch...;O)

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  5. Ruby Rose I fully understand you eating that collar tag silencer and understand the weight of all those tags on a small dog we are blessed our tags on our harness not under our neck to dip into our food. I am proud of you from Dallas and Belle

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  6. That sounds like a heavy load for such a small pup. Too bad the silencer didn't last long but we hope it tasted good. BOL!

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  7. I never wear my rabies tag. We can present the paperwork and tag if needed. I have tags that hook onto my collar that don't hang. I have gotten my dewclaw stuck in the ones that hang and I have to hop until mom helps me. Are silencers yummy, Ruby?!

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  8. Ruby Rose...did it smell like something very yummy?
    Hugs Cecilia

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  9. Oh boy...We bet that tasted delicious. BOL!!
    xoxo,
    Rosy & Sunny

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  10. On nose! If it came out the other end in one piece, maybe it could be recycled, BOL!

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