The Ruby Rose Report: Setting the Tone on Day One

Two years ago, last week, when I flew first class, with a paid escort next to me, from my Florida home to North, a land known as New England, I knew, for the first time in my life winter was coming, and I wanted no part of it.

I left on a Saturday morning, and the plane was delayed, which meant I missed my connector, and my escort and I had to sit in a Georgia airport for more than an hour, then I boarded another flight, and a few hours later I landed in Providence reeling like a flying Pilgrim. I met my parents and knew we would fit together like peas, and another smaller version of a pea,

My escort told my parent they might want to take me out of the pee, but they were instantly falling in love, which means they suspended all reason and were existing on duck farts.

So, I left my escort and took a very short walk in the sunshine to the car. Honestly, traveling to TF Green in Providence is a dream. No traffic going in, great parking, and there is a shining new concourse. If you have to go to New York or Jersey it is quicker to land at Green and drive.

We got to my new house, and Mommy told Daddy I must have to pee, and man, did I. But, I had heard stories of New England winters where paws freeze when hitting the ground, and groups of snowmen that roam the tundra eating what anything they find stranded on the snow. And don’t get me started on polar bears. I am a tiny dog and have no way to protect myself from invisible bears.

I held on to my pee. If I started peeing outside now they would expect me to do it all the time, and come winter, I would be in danger of freezing my kibbles.

River, when she recruited me to be the new house dog, told me there were pee pads in the laundry room.

You know when you have to pee and you hold it in, but when you get to the peeing place the need to go is overwhelming? That’s how I was in that yard, crossing my eyes, and my knees. Finally, my dad did the husband giving up, which only lasted until his wife told him he was a fool; and sent us back out to try again for another ten minutes until finally that lady relented. I went inside, found the pads, and peed for a minute.

After that, I have been doing my business inside, in the warmth and dry in the winter, and air-conditioned comfort during this terrible heat wave.

My advice to new dogs is to hold on as long as you can, so you too don’t have to pee in inclement weather.

In the long run, your parents will thank you.