Do you shed?
Do your parents try to make it stop?
What do they use to clean after,a good shedding?
I shed. I must be a good dog because Mommy has said in the past she could not live with a shedding dog.
My parents have tried to brush me but I squirm and run off.
My parents keep the lint roller businesses from closing.
She had not two breasts but three
And the middle one got in the way
So God performed surgery.
And Woman stood in front of God
With the middle breast in her hand
She said, “What can we do with the useless boob?”
And God created Man.
Viagara stolen. It’s in the news.
Hardened criminals on the loose
My mother turned 89
And much to our surprise
She decided to get outdoors
And started to exercise.
Mother walked ten miles a day
And now she’s 93.
Poor old mother, we don’t know
Where on earth she could be
the
Oh boy! It is time for the fantastic Friday fill-ins thanks to our two co-hosts who put these sentences together every week.
Here are this week’s sentences and mine RUBY'S are capitalized
1. I define success by HOW CLOSE TO THE CENTER OF THE PEE PAD I LEAVE MY POOP.
2. WHEN MOMMY GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER AND FOUND ME CHEWING HER BRA
was an awkward moment.
3. I learned to LIE when I was CAUGHT CHEWING MOMMY’S BRA WHEN SHE GOT OUT OF
THE SHOWER at ONE years old. I SAID DADDY ENTINCED ME INTO A GAME OF TUG OF WAR WITH IT AND
SHE GOT MAD AT HIM. HASHTAG LIES WORK HASHTAG BABY BOSS RULES
I can only EXPRESS so much CUTENESS before I GET MY PLUG UGLIES ON!.
My friend who is one spoiled cat gave me the picture below for the Thursday Poetry blog hop
Dwight knew he was bright
He knew it with all his might
He was the smartest boy, then the smartest man, his teachers said his intelligence was out of sight
But Kate, his disagreeable wife, only wanted to fight
*
Kate quietly sipped her bay rum
And wondered if he was so smart why did she have the bigger income
She had been trying for years not to succumb
To the horrible truth, Dwight was dumb
**
Over dinner Dwight told Kate why his logic was air tight
His seventh great grandparent taught Franklin to fly a kite
His fourth taught the Wright brothers about flight
George Will asked for his father’s insight.
***
Her husband’s words left her numb.
His seventh great grandparent grabbed Franklin’s electric kite string and lost a thumb
His fourth flew the Wright Flyer into a tree bursting with plums
And to keep his father from speaking George Will gave him gum
****
Dwight announced that Kate was jealous “you know that’s right”
And he would not let her ruin his night
Being married to someone with a lower IQ was a plight
He was being honest, it wasn’t meant as a slight
*****
The conversation needed a new tempo, a change in the timing from the drum
She pulled out a paper with her doctor’s office outcome
And although she found him loathsome
He yearned for a son
******
Dwight exclaimed a squeal of delight
And since she was giving him a son he would forget the events of the night
And another fight she did not want to encite
But if he believed he was the father he really wasn’t too bright
I didn't know my cat was a Republican until I came home and found it doing the Trump Dance
Do you get a treat when your parents snack on food during the day?
If you have a treat, then your parents eat a cookie, do you get another treat?
Do your parents deserve a treat whenever you get one?
Ruby's Answers
Yes, if my parents stop for a bite to eat I am entitled to a treat.
Every time they get a treat I get a treat so if they treat me, then get a treat, I get another treat
Oh no, they would get too fat and it would be my job to take them out for a roll everyday.
Everybody loves me, but do not worry, I do not have a big head or anything. I have the same normal-sized head holding a big giant brain. ...
