Ask Aunt Foley: Snow Dogs

Dear Aunt Foley:  I have heard lots of people complain about the snow this year.  I don’t understand why.  I love it.  I could spend all day playing in it.  Why do people and pups hate snow so much?  Presley

          Dear Presley:  I will address this in two parts.  First:  Humans.  Humans are a transient species, always on the move.  Whenever there is something that impedes their progress they fall to pieces and nothing impedes progress like snow.

          It needs to be shoveled, blown and plowed.  The roads become icy and people have to obey speed limits.  They need to buy all the bread from the grocery store because…..OK I have no idea why they do that.  Being made to slow down or, even worse, stay home, drives humans to madness. 

          As for dogs we can see why dogs like you, with those long, sexy legs would like the snow.  You can run through it, over it, and leap up and down in it.  It does sound like great fun.  As for little dogs like me we end up getting snow up to our ears, our most private parts freeze in the cold, we kick a lot of snow and sand into our undercarriage, and that leads to another issue.

          Part of the problems with dogs and snow is Moms.  My Mom hates the snow.  She doesn’t want any snow, sand or salt in the house.  If Daddy took us for a walk as soon as we got in the house she would scoop us up and drop us in the tub.  I don’t know why making us wet helped with getting us dry but I learned never to question Mom.

          So for dogs it’s all about size and how anal your Mom is.  And that’s two strikes against my pack

For more Ask Aunt Foley click here

Wordless Wedneday

Back in my day we weren't afraid of a little snow by Foley Monster

          I am ashamed of my sisters.  We get a few feet of snow and suddenly they can’t go outside.  Back in my day I used to go out in snow ten times over my head in temperatures 30 below zero and I was glad!  Glad I say!  Dogs today are pussified.

          When I was a young pup we lived across the street from the state mental hospital.  My sister Blake and I would get walks every day, even in the snow.  Mommy was working then and we were crated all day so our parents thought it was important to get our energy out via walks.       

           But we couldn’t walk on the sidewalks.  Mommy didn’t want our paws damaged from rock salt or our under carriages covered with sand.  So we walked around the softball field on the outer limits of the mental hospital.  We didn’t question who would give mental patients bats and hard balls to play with, just as the mental patients didn’t ask why seemingly normal thinking adults would walk their dogs around the perimeter of a snow covered diamond.

          I was light enough to pretty much walk right on top of the frozen crust.  Blake was twice my size and would often sink to her knees but still managed for force her way through the snow.  Mommy and Daddy would sink a foot in the snow and clomp their way through the high snow like World War II Russian soldiers walking guard duty in Stalingrad, inexplicably doing so with two lap dogs.

          We did our business, and my parents even dug down in the snow to clean it up.  One day I finished my business and the scooted my burning butt on the cold snow.  Oh that felt nice.  But it left a brown streak on the snow and the next day I got taken to a vet.  The only thing wrong was my anal glands felt the need to express themselves.

          And the next night I was back out, in the cold and the snow, like a real dog.  Not the pussified dogs we have now.  Someone get me a can of moxie and my pipe.  Gunsmoke is on. 

For more of Foley Monster click HERE

February 22, 2015 Pup of the Week: Answered Prayers for Koda, Summer Grace and Bella

           There have been too many Sundays that I have chronicled the aftermath of unanswered prayers.  On this Sunday I would like to celebrate the joy left in the wake of prayers answered in the affirmative.

            We begin with one of our oldest and most cherished friends who was with us when we cleared the land and built the dog houses to create this beloved spot for so many of our lonely friends.  Koda stands tall in his role as one of the leaders of our pack.

            A torn ACL tried to cut our dear friend down to our tiny size.  This combined with a careless vet who prescribed the wrong medication made a dire situation worse and put Koda on the gurney towards the operating room after many weeks of dieting to take some weight off the weary tendon.

            Luckily, in a plot twist reserved for movies, Koda’s original doctor returned to town, replacing the careless fool with the prescription pad, to do his surgery.  We gathered together to ask the All Mighty to guide the surgeon’s hand and to help Koda awaken after his surgery.  Thankfully he graciously granted our prayers.  And the next day, when Koda wouldn’t eat, he granted our prayers again by giving our friend his appetite back.  We are still praying that Koda fully recovers.  The Lord has granted out prayers through the hardest time, we are sure he will continue to do so.

            Having one answered prayer a week has been a challenge lately never mind multiple answered prayers but the All Mighty has been in a generous mood.  And answering multiple requests for the same dog is pushing the limits.  But it is what Summer Grace needed.

            Summer has gone through cancer treatment in the past and it was a struggle to keep her with us.  Summer’s Mom has been very diligent in checking her for any growths.  We can only imagine how her heart must have dropped when she found growths on her best friend as she gently stroked Summer.  Having been down this torturous path before her Mom knew what to do.  Summer was taken into surgery, and again we prayed that the doctor’s hand be guided and Summer recover.  And again our prayers were answered.  The growth was removed, and it was benign.  Our friend is on the road to recovery.

            Finally there is Bella, a very special dog in her own right.  While my pack spends days lying on blankets and searching for a warm lap Bella gives her time going to the senior citizen home and bringing smiles to the faces for those who were afraid they had lost their smiles.

            Bella became ill suddenly:  Vomiting, loose stools and no appetite.  Her liver enzymes were high and her doctor told her Mom that Bella must have eaten something toxic.  She was given medicine and was told it would pass.  But it didn’t, poor Bella grew progressively worse and her mother grew more worried.

            We prayed for an answer to what ailed our generous friend, for her to eat, and to keep down, and in, what she consumed.  Finally her doctor, after several Mom requests, acquiesced and did an x-ray which showed part of a toy in Bella’s small intestine.  The surgery, and the prayers, were performed, and said, via emergency, and again the prayers were answered yes.   Bella is home, eating correctly and holding her food down, well on her way to recovery, and returning to the senior center to help find more smiles.

            So we give thanks for three answered prayers this week, and ask that we be granted many more to come in the weeks and months ahead.

River Song: The Not So Accidental Bed Wetter

          Hello everyone:  My name is River Song and I am a bed wetter.

          I admit I do not have the problem of other bed wetters:   The sudden puddling beneath me as I sleep.  Mine is caused by the holding of my urine throughout the night because there are treat balls to work on and laps to sit upon.  Before I realize what is occurring we are in the bedroom and I am placed on the bed.  It then occurs to me that my bladder will need expressing before a good night’s sleep can be obtained.  This, combined with my knowledge that peeing on the floor is not acceptable, caused me to violate our sleeping space with urine while Mommy and Daddy were in separate bathrooms practicing oral care.

          Upon completion of my urination some of my flow flowed to Pocket.  She looked down, some my bodily fluid now unbodied, and jumped out of bed just as Mommy came out of the bathroom.  She saw the pee on the blanket and the sheet and yelled River!

          I said:  “Wha?”

          She then told me I peed the bed.  Well, I knew that.  I just did it.  My problem is peeing in the wrong spots, not senility.  Mommy picked me, quite roughly I might add, off the sheets and blanket, removed them from the bed, and then put Pocket and I back on it.

          Daddy saw Mommy putting the sheet and blanket in the laundry and asked he what had happened.  She said I peed the bed.  (Nobody likes a snitch Mom!)  Daddy came in to check on us.  I was sitting on the bed, just chilling like I do.  Pocket was next to me with her ears pinned back trembling.  I am afraid she is going to crack under questioning.

          Daddy picked Pocket up to calm her down (sure she gets the attention and she didn’t even pee the bed.)  He took Pocket out to the living room and had Mommy calm her down.  Geesh!  Then they came back in the bedroom and made me get off the bed (double Geesh!) while they tried to make the bed which was hard because their grandbabies were over and they had most of the spare blankets. 

          Then Mommy raised the possibility that it wasn’t me.  Maybe it was Pocket!  I could be off the hook.  But then Daddy used the underside of his wrist to do the who who test and mine was wet.  Damn that Undersided Daddy.

          It finally occurred to me that Mommy was upset about the entire accidental incident.  I spent the night cuddled up with Daddy.  He is more forgiving.  And warmer.

          So take my advice.  Don’t pee the bed.  I don’t know why but it makes Mommies upset.

For more adventures of River's family click here

         

Ask Aunt Foley

          Dear Aunt Foley:  What was up with the beagle winning the Westminster Dog Show?  How do they judge who is the best?  - Josie

          Dear Josie:  Oh you sweet innocent dogs on the mortal side of the Bridge.  No humans decide who wins Westminster.  Every dog is best in show.  There is no way to distinguish one from another.  They could have given that ribbon to any dog in the ring or any dog watching at home.  There is no way of measuring who is the best when every dog is perfect.

          So how do they decide the winners?  It is simple.  We have a big lottery up here at the Bridge.  We put tennis balls with the names of every dog that has signed up for Westminster hidden in secret places all over Rainbow Bridge.  The first ball found with the name of a dog wins their breed, and then from there we hide all the found balls again and then seek them.  The first seven found win their groups.  Finally we hide the final seven and the first ball that is found is the winner. 

          There was a bit of a disturbance in the competitive balance this year.  Tommy Tunes was determined to see a beagle win and he was always the first to return with a beagle ball until he was the only one left in the winner’s circle.  If the rest of us don’t pick up our game Westminster fans may need to get used to seeing a beagle win every year.

 For more Ask Aunt Foley click here 

Wordless Wednesday