Saturday, February 21, 2015

River Song: The Not So Accidental Bed Wetter

          Hello everyone:  My name is River Song and I am a bed wetter.
          I admit I do not have the problem of other bed wetters:   The sudden puddling beneath me as I sleep.  Mine is caused by the holding of my urine throughout the night because there are treat balls to work on and laps to sit upon.  Before I realize what is occurring we are in the bedroom and I am placed on the bed.  It then occurs to me that my bladder will need expressing before a good night’s sleep can be obtained.  This, combined with my knowledge that peeing on the floor is not acceptable, caused me to violate our sleeping space with urine while Mommy and Daddy were in separate bathrooms practicing oral care.
          Upon completion of my urination some of my flow flowed to Pocket.  She looked down, some my bodily fluid now unbodied, and jumped out of bed just as Mommy came out of the bathroom.  She saw the pee on the blanket and the sheet and yelled River!
          I said:  “Wha?”
          She then told me I peed the bed.  Well, I knew that.  I just did it.  My problem is peeing in the wrong spots, not senility.  Mommy picked me, quite roughly I might add, off the sheets and blanket, removed them from the bed, and then put Pocket and I back on it.
          Daddy saw Mommy putting the sheet and blanket in the laundry and asked he what had happened.  She said I peed the bed.  (Nobody likes a snitch Mom!)  Daddy came in to check on us.  I was sitting on the bed, just chilling like I do.  Pocket was next to me with her ears pinned back trembling.  I am afraid she is going to crack under questioning.
          Daddy picked Pocket up to calm her down (sure she gets the attention and she didn’t even pee the bed.)  He took Pocket out to the living room and had Mommy calm her down.  Geesh!  Then they came back in the bedroom and made me get off the bed (double Geesh!) while they tried to make the bed which was hard because their grandbabies were over and they had most of the spare blankets. 
          Then Mommy raised the possibility that it wasn’t me.  Maybe it was Pocket!  I could be off the hook.  But then Daddy used the underside of his wrist to do the who who test and mine was wet.  Damn that Undersided Daddy.
          It finally occurred to me that Mommy was upset about the entire accidental incident.  I spent the night cuddled up with Daddy.  He is more forgiving.  And warmer.
          So take my advice.  Don’t pee the bed.  I don’t know why but it makes Mommies upset.
For more adventures of River's family click here



  1. Well after all, your name is River. If they wanted you to always be dry, they should have named you Desert.
    The Porties

  2. I am learning from you, and I will never pee the bed,,, thats for sure!

  3. Hmmmmmmmm, we've never pee'd in the bed and now, we NEVER will.....'cause we don't have a dad.

    We have vomitted, but didn't get in trouble......just got cuddled.

  4. I only has peed da bed once, as a puppy. It wuz back to da crate for a while.

    And I hopped up on a hotel bed and peed one time, but dat wuz another story.

  5. No pees here but a poop when I was little and peeps was mad. Have a serene and easy Sunday.
    Best wishes Molly

  6. We think there is a SONG about this... ♫ I Peed a River ♫ We did not know that a Who Who would Tell on anybuddy... Guess that is why our mom uses all that TP...
    Sorry that this all happened to you River.

  7. I've heard stories of Twix doing that but I've never given it a try. Now, I don't think I will! Twix used to do it when she was "pissed" at mom or dad.....hehe!

  8. Just living up to your name, right? We never have that problem here because we never get a chance to sleep on the humans' bed - bummer!!!

    Woos - Phantom, Ciara, and Lightning

  9. WELLLL when Sammy J. Simpson was alive and breathing he peed on our bed not once but three times and we thought our mom was going to have to have therapy.....but then he went to the bridge and I have never peed on the bed. Maybe I somehow confused him a leaving to a peeing. (one thing had nothing to do with another) anyway so far no other pug has done that..BUTT Gussie and Maggie do pee on their beds and that makes our mom really mad. I tried to tell her it is a tossup do you want pee on yours or decide. Stella Rose