Friday, February 10, 2012

Pocket the Protestor to Support Her Pit Bull Friends Calls for #OccupyMcDonalds

My sister, Foley Monster, is a well known dog attorney.  When she learned that McDonald’s was running an ad saying that eating their chicken McNuggets was safer than petting a pit bull she flew into action bombarding the McDonald’s corporate offices with all her briefs and giving the Ham Burglar a nip in the ankle that could possibly lead to a nasty staff infection.

Even though Foley is quite satisfied with herself, because McDonalds pulled the offending ad, which she attributes to her own legal brilliance, I think that, while my sister played a role in justice being done, there were many organizations in the country that may have had more influence on McDonalds than a six inch Yorkie who has been known to spend more time at settlement conferences licking herself than listening to opposing council.  But now that the legal matter has been settled Foley has decided that McDonalds has gotten off too easily after insulting our pit,bull friends, and she still carries a grudge about the box of McNuggets she ate that gave her the runs for two weeks, (no pit bull ever made her run for two weeks) so she said it was time to bring out the little gun:  Pocket the Protester.  

Pocket the Protester?  Who the heck is that?

Well apparently, I am Pocket the Protester.  Oh boy I don’t like to protest.  Unless it’s one of the protests where you can lie down in front of something and snuggle.  But Foley told me for this occasion lying and snuggling just won’t do.

What Foley wants me to do is to organize pit bull owners everywhere.  I don’t know how a little Yorkie is supposed organize a group of pit bulls but I am going to try.

To protest McDonalds attack on the reputation of our pit bull friends I am calling on all pit  bull owners, on Saturday, February 25, 2012, at 3:00 PM EST, noon time PST, and whatever time correlates in the middle of the country, to take their pit bulls to McDonalds.  All they have to do is walk into McDonalds and stand by the door.  

They can order food if they want, if they have an iron tummy.  If not they can just stand there and show everyone how wonderful pit bull pups are.  Then after about ten minutes, or however long it takes the local Johnny Laws to get to the fast food establishment, load the pup back in the car and head home.

Now some of you might ask, since McDonalds has pulled the ad, why should we take action.  Well, if I am going to be a protester I am going to go in a hundred percent. protester.

 I am going to wear my beret.  I am going to bark slogans.  I am going to get one of the Anonymous makes and wear it around town.  I am going to form a drum circle.  I’m a Yorkie on the Edge!

So I say protest because McDonalds insulted not just pit bulls but dogs of all kinds.  Protest because if someone slaps your Mama and says they are sorry do you just say “thank you for the apology,” and move on.  No.  You take a stand.

So, for all the times that pit bulls have been mistreated in the media, mistreated by advertisers, mistreated by the justice system, mistreated by other dog owners, Pocket,the protester says it’s time to stand up.  And who better to stand up to then one of the biggest companies in the world?  So I say Occupy McDonalds, or, as the birds tweet #OccupyMcdonalds.

A wise dog once said all it takes for evil to prevail is for good dogs to do nothing.

Or as one of Daddy’s CD’s named Peter Gabriel said “you can put out a candle, but you can’t put out a fire, once the flames begin to catch, the winds will take it higher.”

So said Pocket the Protester.  (And a little dog shall lead them.)


  1. I am soooo with you! They should do ads using that moron Vick, {talk about offensive, I rather watch poo...} but then again, redundant... pooh, McD and pink slime.
    How does one tell dif? Oh yes you pay for one with cash. THERE ARE NO BAD BREEDS just bad owners. You wonder how much cash they shelled out to that stupid ad agency. McD should contribute an equal sum to Pit Bull rescue and save face. [snickering here....] Look at who I am attempting to impune a social conscience ... hahahahahaha....

  2. What an idiotic ad! Great job letting them know it.

    Nubbin wiggles,

  3. Where can the Mama borrow a pit bull? She's in!

  4. Great! I hope that a better apology than the one that McDonald's tweeted is forthcoming. I was so disappointed.