Posted by Foley Monster
Family: The Monster Pack
Listing; The Monster Pack is looking for a self motivated, hardworking, industrious dog for the position of family dog.
Job description: The Monster Pack is a dysfunctional family unit consisting of a late middle aged couple who have faulty judgment and personality disorders along with their timid, submissive, nervous dog named Pocket. I am looking for a small dog, no larger than 12 pounds, with hair, not fur (we do not discriminate against dogs with fur but because of allergy conditions of grandchildren the dog must be hypoallergenic) with a big personality and a lot of patience. Socialization is a must. The applicant will have to socially accept dogs at home, in play, and in the online world.
Experience: Dogs should neither be too young or too old. Having some experience in a family home is a must. Dog should be calm but assertive. Dog must be willing to accept that they are the new dog in the family and be submissive to Pocket, the Mommy and the Daddy. Dog must also know that the above sentence is all b.s. and she will be the one in charge. Dog must be a female, on this we do discriminate, and if you have a problem you can sue me but be warned I am a Judge and have the gavel to prove it. Dog must have first hand knowledge of computers, and how to interact on social networking. Strong leadership ability is a must. A few years of legal training wouldn’t hurt either. Dogs must be proficient in snuggling, lap sitting, giving soft kisses, listening, and making her parents feel loved
Perks: Good food, lots of attention, chicken, treats, a leopard vagina kitty condo to share, and a big bed to sleep in.
Please send resumes to Foley Monster Magistrate, First District Court, Rainbow Bridge.