Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Dog Wanted

Posted by Foley Monster


Position:  Dog

Family:  The Monster Pack

Listing;   The Monster Pack is looking for a self motivated, hardworking, industrious dog for the position of family dog.

Job description:  The Monster Pack is a dysfunctional family unit consisting of a late middle aged couple who have faulty judgment and personality disorders along with their timid, submissive, nervous dog named Pocket.  I am looking for a small dog, no larger than 12 pounds, with hair, not fur (we do not discriminate against dogs with fur but because of allergy conditions of grandchildren the dog must be hypoallergenic) with a big personality and a lot of patience.  Socialization is a must.  The applicant will have to socially accept dogs at home, in play, and in the online world.

Experience:  Dogs should neither be too young or too old.  Having some experience in a family home is a must.  Dog should be calm but assertive.  Dog must be willing to accept that they are the new dog in the family and be submissive to Pocket, the Mommy and the Daddy.  Dog must also know that the above sentence is all b.s. and she will be the one in charge. Dog must be a female, on this we do discriminate, and if you have a problem you can sue me but be warned I am a Judge and have the gavel to prove it.  Dog must have first hand knowledge of computers, and how to interact on social networking.  Strong leadership ability is a must.  A few years of legal training wouldn’t hurt either.  Dogs must be proficient in snuggling, lap sitting, giving soft kisses, listening, and making her parents feel loved

Perks:  Good food, lots of attention, chicken, treats, a leopard vagina kitty condo to share, and a big bed to sleep in.

Please send resumes to Foley Monster Magistrate, First District Court, Rainbow Bridge.


  1. Wow oh wow can't wait to see what lucky dog makes this criteria.nubby woves

  2. It's going to take a BIG DOG to fill that job description. Whew! ! ! ! I'm really good at reviewing resumes so if I can help Foley bark at me. I used to help my Mommy do that when I was on earth.

  3. Awwwww... Love it. They'll be the blessed pup to have your pack as their family!

  4. I've got a couple of pups that want to take that job, although one of them is over the weight limit. But, I'm not going to let them apply. Sorry. :P
    Good luck to you and your next family member in finding each other!

  5. We wish you luck in finding a new pack member but we know whoever it is will be one lucky pup. We know Foley is up there watching over you all and is approving. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
    Best wishes Molly

  6. Wow, those are BIG shoes to fill!

    We know in time, the pawfect little one will come along and will be a wonderful addition to the family.

    We miss you Foley.

    Lily Belle & Muffin

  7. Making my best pitch here for A RESCUE dog. Fluffing my tail. See how pretty I am? We rescues are really neat. And grateful.
    And... it would please her honor.

  8. Foley....you forgotted one impawtant qualification.......Dog MUST BE PERSONALLY TRAINED BY YOU before being sent to family!!!!! :)

  9. How about a Yorkie rescue group....is there one in your area? If not, you can contact one on-line, I'm sure they can point you to one nearby, or else possibly transport one.

  10. You're going to be swamped with applicants for this job Foley...One lucky dog is gonna be very very happy...Choose well furriend

  11. Cute idea. I am sure you will have lots of doggies applying to be part of your pack.

  12. What a great employment opportunity. We know the perfect applicant will come along and grab up the job.


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