I am the family scout. I may not be the fastest, or the strongest, or the best fighter but my ears are bigger than the rest of my head so my family counts on me to use my hearing to warn of impending danger.
We were in bed Monday morning when I heard the sound of a truck backing into the driveway. I immediately woke my Daddy. Trucks are bad news Haven’t you been watching The Walking Dead?
Daddy took me out of bed to suss out what was going on. There was a man on our property unloading things from the truck. He and Daddy said good morning while I did my business. I completed it quickly. I needed to give this guy a random sniff test. But first I had to wait for Daddy to slowly pick up my poo. So annoying and humiliating.
Then Daddy took me back in the house! We were going to trust this man with the big truck? He put me back in bed. Freaking liberal pacifist. He and Mommy then talked about the situation and decided it would be better to spend time in the bedroom with the blinds closed so River and I wouldn’t get all worked up because this interloper was in our yard.
All worked up? It’s a Yorkie sworn duty to get all worked up.
I tried to rally River to my cause by nipping, biting, and finally signaling her with dog code for great distress: Rolling over on my back with my legs spread. But River didn’t care. She just wanted to snuggle with Mommy in our bed of ignorance.
I heard his footsteps, his setting up a ladder, his climbing the ladder (Oh no he coming in the window! He’s coming in the window!), him ripping property off our house (He is stealing! Stealing!) Then I heard hammering, sawing, and worst of all screwing while my three bed mates drifted in and out of consciousness like Rose on the floating wood on “Titanic,” while I dangled i
like Jack in danger in the cold water.
Finally we got out of bed and River and I ran from window to window until we found the interloper. We barked our heads off at him. Shortly after that he came to the door and we ran to sniff him but then got in a fight over who would do the sniffing and missed him. Mommy tried to feed me breakfast but a Yorkie on the edge doesn’t eat. We didn’t get to sniff when we went on our walk and by the time we got home we were all sniffed out. I relented and ate and then we fell asleep. When we awoke there was some exchange of paperwork and then he was gone.
I went outside. Everything looked like it was all right but I will be inspecting all week and when I find something wrong I shall point it out to my parents and they will start listening to their little scout’s warnings.
I advise your parents to do the same