River Song: Top Model

HUMPHH!  I guess I am some kind of model now.  I never imagined being a model.  I am long legged, slim waisted, and have a perfect face.  It is no mystery why someone wanted me to model but I showed no interest.

Then my agent called.  He told me that I was asked to model clothes for the greatest fashion house in all Dog Land:  The House of Hattie.   Who could say no to them?  There were whispers in the industry that The House was more interested in my sister Pocket modeling because they needed a minus sized dog but I knew that could not be true.  Look at me!  I am beautiful!  My face is my livelihood.

We had our first fitting on Sunday.  I immediately balked.  I was due for a grooming appointment on Wednesday.  My hair was a mess.  My beard was tangled and had a piece of kibble I was saving from last week embedded in it.  But my Mom insisted on the show because The House of Hattie needed to know if the dresses fit Pocket.  Again with the Pocket!  Doesn’t Mommy know I am the model here?

We tried on our first outfits and put in the chair for our pictures.  I saw myself in the reflection from the TV screen.  I was a mess.  I could not work this way.  I have a fan base!  They could not see me this way!  I got off the chair and stalked off into the kitchen.  

Mommy called me back into the room and that stupid reflex that makes me do everything she says took over and I was back in the chair.  But I was in no mood to pose.  First I hid my disheveled face from the camera by rubbing it on the chair.  Then I moped and refused to stand up.  

Here is a picture of myself during my runway meltdown.

That slight glance up was as close to posing as I came.  I soon stormed off the set, knocked over the bowl of M&M’s that I had demanded because there were still red ones in it and curled up in a ball to sleep.

On Wednesday I went to the groomer’s and I told her that I had an important photo shoot.  It took her four hours but she was finally able to cut my hair to my specifications.

When we got home I told my Mom I was ready for my close up.  After making sure there were no red M&M’s in the bowl I put on a show wearing my House Of Hattie couture.  Notice the complete change in my face, posture and grace.

But guess what?  All Mommy wanted to do in her e-mail to the House of Hattie was discuss how the dresses fit Pocket.  

How do you like that?

HUMMMMPPH!