We dogs are born with two brains. One is for show. This is the goofy one with the wagging tail that seems perpetually confused.
The second we keep hidden from humans. This is the one that knows everything that is going on. It remains in the shadows. We lose our advantage when humans realize that we understand more about life than they do.
I knew I was having my teeth done on Tuesday, but the part of my brain that understood that stayed tucked in bed that morning.
I got up as happy as a clam. I did my outside business, and then things began to fall apart. Mama was already dressed. She was going somewhere. Then I realized that somewhere was with me. River pouted that she was being left behind. But nothing good happens to me when River is left behind. Plus, there was no breakfast. .Da da dum.
We all got in the car. I sat in the front seat with Mommy instead of being put in my bag in the back. I was interested in all the hustle and bustle occurring outside during the car ride. People sure are busy early in the morning. That's why I like to sleep in. As soon as I saw the doctor's office, I began barking loudly. I was trying to wake up the other side of my brain so I would know what was going on. But it slumbered.
Daddy carried me inside the office with Mommy behind us. A couple of minutes later I was brought into an exam room. What were they going to do to me? A butt pinch? A poking and prodding examination? Something blown my nose? The dreaded multiple needle pricks?
A tech came in with papers for my parents to sign. Then my parents handed me to the tech. They gave me scratches and said goodbye. The only time they're supposed to say goodbye to me is when I'm home. And they are leaving. This was bad
I was placed in a smelly cage. You would think with all the business I have brought them I would have better accommodations. There should at least be a couch or maybe a bed to rest on.
A few minutes later I was taken out and put on a cold table. I considered asking for a different one I hated a table by the restroom. Then they stuck something in my leg. Suddenly I was very relaxed.
I woke up in the cubby hole. What had they done to me? I sniffed my butt, and it smelled normal. I stood up, and everything worked Properly. I licked my gums and ouch. I should have known they took more of my teeth. I don't know what They wanted them for. Tiny piano keys perhaps?
Then my second brain activated and I understood that the last time I was here, the vet said I needed more dental work. Everything became clear to me. At least it's clear as can be to a 6 lb dog was under heavy sedation.
I kept slipping in and out of sleep. Suddenly I heard my parents’ voices. I wanted the bark, but I farted. Anesthesia messes up where things come out.
I was brought out of my cubby hole and handed back to my traitorous, traitorous parents. They were thrilled to see me. To keep my tail from wagging as long as possible, I thought of baseball players’ names.
While mommy paid the bill and went over the Postop instructions, Daddy took me outside to pee. There were so many smells out there I nearly tipped. Or I could have just been high.
We got home, and River sniffed me all over. She needed finishing school. I got up on the recliner with Mommy, and I slept for a long time. She tried feeding me, but for some reason, I had no appetite. Later on, they gave me some gross liquid medicine. Was there no end to their torture?
The next morning I woke up with a healthy appetite and little pain. I was back to being myself.
I heard my parents talking about me. The techs all said what a sweet girl I was and very brave. I’m used to being sweet but not courageous.
Now that I've had my teeth removed twice and I'm still chewing kibble with the few I have left maybe it's time to retire pocket this sweet and give me a new name
So henceforth I will be known as pocket the brave. Just remember to ignore my frequent shaking.