Thursday, May 16, 2019

River is Frustrated by Pocket's Slow Eating Habits

My sister is slowly driving me to madness.  Not just in her usual ways of getting me stirred up by needlessly barking, or taking my spot on Mama's lap.  Since she got her teeth out, she's eating so slowly that I can't stand waiting for her.

We both dine twice a day in the living room.  I eat out of a bowl she eats off of a plate. I begin inhaling my food as soon as my bowl is put down.  Pocket walks around her plate like she has discovered an ancient fossil. After a bit of coaxing from my parents, she begins to eat. Meanwhile, I am halfway through my food.

This is how I eat: slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp.  This is how Pocket eats her food. Sniff, sniff, bite one kibble, drop it, bite another kibble, drop it, pick it up, chew, chew, chew and swallow. Only another 10,000 kibbles to go.

You may wonder why I care about how long it takes for my sister to eat.  It ‘s because I get her leftovers. With every kibble, she bites I think she's full.  She noses around a few around the plate, begins to walk away, comes back, and eats another one. It makes me go AAAARGH.

Humans don't understand. It’s like being at a restaurant waiting for a table while some old biddy eats her salad bit by bit.  And you have to sit next to her at the table. And it's your favorite salad. And if she eats all of it you don't get any. And the salad is full of meat.  It's torture.

And the worst part is if Pocket doesn't eat enough food I still don't get any.  “That's too much for you River,” Mommy says eyeing the leftovers. Would it be too much to ask for someone to separate a little bit for me?

I am rooting Pocket on for the first 80% of her dinner.  During the last 20%, I pray she is finished.

Watching her slowly make her way through the last few kibbles is unbearable.  She might have ten left then a minute later nine then a couple of minutes later eight.  With each bite, hope is drained. The sound of the final kibble being crunched in her mouth is devastating.

Pocket can even wear out my parents' infinite patience.  When they have somewhere to be, or just want to get on with the rest of their lives, and there are less than 20 kibbles left they will split them into two piles. They scoot the kibbles on the floor towards both of us. I realize that I am running after kibble and eating it off the floor. If you wanted a pet with dignity, get a cat
.
Sometimes I am fortunate to sneak away with a kibble intended for Pocket.    That is a triumph.


A couple of times a week it works out splendidly.  Pocket finishes her food with the right amount left.  The plate is slid to me, and I devour the remains. On days like that, it makes a living with these two people and their crazy little dog worth it.

11 comments:

  1. I sure hope you have more days with the bonus bites sliding your way!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sometimes I think my humans get exasperated with me. I like to pick up a mouthful of kibble, carry it a little way, and then drop it on the floor. After that I might eat them all, or eat a few of them, or I might decide to leave them all there.

    ReplyDelete
  3. In our house, I wait for Violet to finish her dinner so that I can sneak in and clean off her plate; she waits around my bowl and chows down on what I have left behind. Mom monitors the whole thing as much as possible trying to remove bowls before the wrong species gets to them. Apparently cat food is bad for dogs and dog food in not intended for kitties. Aslan on the other hand just eats his normal food and is happy with that; Kismet insists being fed in the upstairs bedroom and then she only eats the gravy. It is a three or four ring circus in our house at meal time.

    ReplyDelete
  4. We wish we could offer sympathy but it sounds like a first world dog problem to us. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. We are all 'inhalers of food'. However, if any dog leaves before finished, it's a free for all.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That is one thing Mom is very thankful for - we all clean our bowls very quickly. No leftovers to be shared. Maybe Mom and Dad need to give River a head start:)

    Woos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber

    ReplyDelete
  7. OMD Hazel ate very very slowly. And I gobble mine right up. My Dad would stand over me and when I was done he would pick me up and carry me from the room. Otherwise I would run to HAzel's bowl, shove my face in and grab as much as I could before the peeps caught me. I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway.
    hugs
    Mabel

    ReplyDelete
  8. Makes me glads I'm an only dog....
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

    ReplyDelete
  9. Pocket, you and Xena and all my previous schnauzers certainly have the love of food in common. It's to eat, not to think about or play with, right?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Charlie used to eat a few kibbles at a time all day long. He was a very slow eater. Max is kind of the same way. All the other dogs are speed eaters.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh River, we understand your frustration! What is wrong with Pocket that she doesn't hobble her food like a normal dog? We say dogs have way more dignity than cats though! Charly, our cat, doesn't agree.

    ReplyDelete