Monday Question

 

Do you sit on your parent's feet when they are standing?

Introducing Tinkerbell

 

Since her beloved husband Rudy went to the Bridge, Mama Linda's angels Tiara, Trixie, Lovey, and others who preceded them to the immortal life in conjunction with their Dad have been trying to find ways to ease Momma Linda's insurmountable grief. 

 

Their choices seemed limited to dogs. People are not like animals. When you lose a human, you don't go to the rescue and pick out another unless you're on Tinder, the human equivalent of a dog pound full of desperate animals. 

 

Tiara had another idea. She heard her Dad say that their Mom had always wanted a cat but could not have one because he was allergic. "I think mommy would like a kitty," she announced to her pup angels. 

 

"Are you crazy?" Trixie asked, "It was bad enough when you suggested a boy dog. Now a cat? I can just imagine how Teddy will react."  

 

"I will visit him and explain that it will make mommy happy,"

Tiara explained. "He might not like it, but he has sworn to make her happy, so I am sure he will adjust.

 

"Can we at least confirm mommy wants a cat?" Trixie asked. "Daddy could be mistaken; he is probably still suffering from Angel lag."

 

They crammed into their Mom's dreams and confirmed that their Mom and then did the same for Teddy and Tashi; both balked but begrudgingly acquiesced when they were told a cat helped their Mom. 

 

I was not surprised when Tiara and Trixie knocked on my door for assistance, but I was when they said they wanted Pocket's help because she is better with cats. I swear my sister identifies as a feline: Her pronouns are kitty and pussy, the latter especially when it thunders. 

 

She introduced the angels to cats who could help them, and soon they located the perfect kitten in a local shelter and dream urged their Mom to visit with donations. While there, Momma Linda was struck by an Angel inspired question and asked if any kittens were available. There were two siblings that a couple was considering adopting until Tiara popped into their minds, pointed to her choice for their Mom, and used an Angel mind trick, telling them," this is not the kitty you are looking for." When they only adopted one Momma, Linda got the chosen one and gave her the adorable name Tinkerbell. The only downside to the name is that the kitty can't be brought to grade school show and tell in Florida because you can't mention fairies there, not even the dog kind. 

 

When Tinkerbell entered the house, Teddy fell in love and followed the cat-like he was Mary's Little Lamb. She is not crazy about barking dogs and chooses to hide when one does, but she will learn. Tinkerbell's addition to the family was almost perfect. 

 

Tinkerbell's addition to the family did not end Momma Linda's grief, but it eased the condition. When it comes to sadness helping a little is a lot 

Friday Friendly Fill-Ins

 

15andMeowing and Four-Legged Furballs have posted fill in the blanks for me, River Song to answer. My responses are in red.

 1. I waste a lot of time waiting for the selfish people I live with to pay attention to me.

2. At this very moment, I’m craving chocolate. I am always craving chocolate and can never have it. It is a curse.

3. Don’t poop until you eliminate witnesses 

4. Pee mail makes life interesting.  

Poetic Thursday

BON CHEW & COWCOW

 Angel Sammys and Teddys Pawetaton have posted this picture as inspiration for Poetic Thursday

 

 

Mary had a little pony

Whose fur was black as coal

And everywhere Mary went

The pony was sure to go

It followed her to school every day

And despite the staffs effort it would not go away

From Grades one to twelve the pony watched class from the window

And on graduation day was given a diploma but just for show

When she was wed the pony waked her down the aisle

And did it with style

What no one knew is that the pony did a lot of learning

So when the new groom came out for a ride in the morning

He said "Hi Eddie, what's new?|

And the pony answered: "That's Mr Ed to you."

Wordless Wednesday

 

Beat This Caption

 

Can't wait for GI Jane! That's hilarious. Oh shit, here he comes. Run

The mouse that lived in Santa's butt

 

This is the story of Clarence, the mouse who lived in Santa's ass.

Last year, when my parents were decorating the Christmas tree, they found many of their cloth decorations had been chewed and gutted to create a nest. The further they explored the tub that Clarence had made home, the more they found other evidence of his existence until they reached the bottom, saw Clarence, and had to set him free outside, robbing him of his home.

We had thought, at best, that Clarence had found a new home, and at worse, he was Ugly Joan's Christmas Dinner. But we did not realize the stubborn grey rodent refused to be evicted, moved back into the shed where the tubs were stored, and looked for a new home.

When he got back inside, he found all the tubs had been sealed, so he would not be able to move back there. As he searched, he became despondent as little material was there to build a nest. As it darkened, she noticed a light by this window and saw an automated Santa, looking out the window, holding a candle, and slowly moving. From the outside, it looked like a creepy white-haired man peering outside, but from the inside, it was a place to take refuge from the winter.

Clarence crawled up the wall onto the table where Santa stood, continued up his leg, and found two plastic pillows. He began to pull the stuffing out of Santa's back to build himself a nest between the pillows. When he heard a human come into the shed, Clarence burrowed further into Santa's anus to remain hidden. The merry old elf exclaimed. "Ho! Ho! Ho! Sweet God, Ho!"

No one noticed a rat in his butt, and Santa, per usual, was placed on top of the decorations until the following year. During the late winter and early spring, he expanded on his home, pulling more stuffing out of Santa's back and sticking it up his butt. Clarence had been careless, like all teenagers doing butt stuff in a shed, and was discovered, with equal consequences.

Santa was examined, and while his upper half was still usable, his bottom half was problematic. Santa's value plummets when there is the possibility of a mouse sticking its head out of Santa's ass and scaring the children.

Santa was unceremoniously tossed into the trash. It was unknown if Clarence was still in the butt when his host was dumped, but I am sure he will make his way out and search for a new home in no time.

The Easter Bunny needs to be aware.