Dear Aunt Foley: I recently read that dogs sided with humans to help kill off the Neanderthals. Is there any truth to this? – Wylie Hudson.
Wylie: Typical humans: Blame us for killing off the Neanderthals!
Why not? We get blamed for everything else. Do you know why the
Neanderthals were killed off? They were freaking Neanderthals!
There is a back story. According to recent “studies” humans
domesticated wolves so they became more like dogs, loyal to their
humans. The dogs helped the humans hunt so they did not starve to
death. The Neanderthals did not domesticate wolves, did not have help
hunting, and starved.
Again, they were Neanderthals. Hey look us dogs tried to play it down
the middle. We offered our services to the Neanderthals. We handed
them a stick and asked them to throw it for us to fetch. They hit
themselves in the head with it. We caught a wild boar, ripped it’s leg
off and presented it to them to eat. They hit themselves in the head
with it. Neanderthals were our first choice but after all that head
hitting we decided to move on to humans.
we still tried. When we would kill something so our humans could eat
we would always leave a limb behind so the Neanderthals could eat too
but all they would do was sit in a circle around the bone, play spin the
femur and suck each other’s faces.
was the thing with those damn Neanderthals! No hunting, no gathering,
just party all the time. We warned them, tried to help them, and
suddenly we are getting blamed for their dying off.
I tell you, anyone who want accept the love and help from dog is a freaking Neanderthal.